I have to stop the pity party

Please, please, please, if you open this post, please that the time to respond back that i should stop feeling sorry for myself. Maybe if I read it from a bunch of different people then I will stop

I feel like I just cant move on from this. Its not even that Im crying everyday. Its just I CAN NOT stop thinking over and over and over again how UNFAIR this is. I know its not right since things can be worse. I dont know, I just cant get past the fact that baby#1 would have been due the beginning of March and yet here I am fresh off a second d&c waiting until March to just START TRYING AGAIN

Vent over. Please tell me Im being a weak and petty and to suck it up and move forward.

Re: I have to stop the pity party

I think it is so natural to feel this way! I think the same thoughts everyday!

We have had a lot of disappointment and heartache this past yr. It is normal to be mad and upset that it isn't FAIR!!

I think once you start TTC again that will give you hope again! I think now we are in limbo with no answers and no AF!!! Which is just allowing us to sit and think too much.

I just have to believe that once you do get your BFP this yr, everything will just seem like a bad dream. Then that baby will be the perfect little bean and we will understand why everything happened ( to bring us that baby!!)

Re: I have to stop the pity party

I can't tell you to suck it up and move on - You will do that in your own time, as we all do. We are all different in how we handle coping with loss.

I can tell you that for me, the best thing I did was to focus on the positive things in my life and start trying again.

Hang in there - it will get easier. I promise!

Re: I have to stop the pity party

Posted by beanie571

I can't tell you to suck it up and move on - You will do that in your own time, as we all do. We are all different in how we handle coping with loss.

ITA!! I know for me crying is a huge part of my healing. I have good days and bad days and that is ok with me. I have been struggling with loss and miscarriage for 11 months now and I think I'm healing at my own pace. When I feel bad, I feel really bad, sad, heartbroken, etc very true emotions that make me who I am. I could never ignore them. At the same time, my good days are getting better. I have found that writing or journaling really helps me as well as coming on this board of course Hang in there

Re: I have to stop the pity party

Posted by beanie571

I can't tell you to suck it up and move on - You will do that in your own time, as we all do. We are all different in how we handle coping with loss.

I can tell you that for me, the best thing I did was to focus on the positive things in my life and start trying again.

Hang in there - it will get easier. I promise!

Re: I have to stop the pity party

Its not easy...One minute you think your okay and then your obsessing with each thought. I dont think I can get over it ever- espeically since I blame myself for it happening..knowing i did nothing wrong. Its a circle.

I think that we will all get better once we have what we want

Re: I have to stop the pity party

I think its completly normal to feel that way. I still think of my mc everyday and that was back in august!
It's a healing process and you have to let yourself feel these emotions. I find it hard to supress them myself but each day it gets better. All you can really do is try and be as positive as possible.

You will get over this hurdle one day and I hope it comes soon for you!

Re: I have to stop the pity party

i understand 100% i'm pg with Lucky #3 at 18w2d now but i've already seen both of my previous due dates come and go.

It's ok to feel the way you do, and it will get easier but you have to let yourself mourn, especially if you just had the 2nd D&C

it is a lot for a person to handle, i know but in time you will feel better.

Just don't get to the point where you are locking yourself in the house

FM me if you would like someone to talk to

Re: I have to stop the pity party

I can't tell you that because I think you need to feel however you do. It goes through my mind all the time how easy it is for some people and not others and how unfair it is but I still get so overjoyed for everyone when they're preggo it's weird.

Re: I have to stop the pity party

feel however you want...grief comes in many forms!

Re: I have to stop the pity party

First of all,

Second of all, you have every right to feel the way you do... you have suffered not one, but two losses -- in a row -- and still don't have any answers as to what happened. It is completely unfair, and I am sad to think about how unhappy, heartbroken, and devastated I would be in your shoes.

Healing takes time.... it may take a long time... please don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. Everyone would feel the exact same way in your position. Hang in there, you will feel better, but it may take a long time.

Re: I have to stop the pity party

First of all you are NOT weak! You have been through so much with the 2 m/cs. Healing can be such a slow process some times. MC is completely unfair and it sucks. It isn't fair that some people have it easy and some have it hard. Like above had said, just try to be as positive as you can be. But don't be afraid of throwing a tantrum and crying. Sometimes we need to just get it all out.