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MIL is dying

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HappyWife515
LIF Toddler

Member since 7/09

406 total posts

Name:
Mommy

MIL is dying

My MIL was just told that she only has two months to live. She has been batteling lung cancer for the past three years and we are just all beside ourselves. Never in a million years did we think this would happen. She is only 50 years old.

DH and I are going to be moving into their home to help take care of them and the house. DH is destroyed and I have no idea how he is going to get through this. How do I comfort him when there is no way to do so?

Any advice or suggestions or any stories of people who have been through similar situations would be really helpful.

Posted 2/24/10 4:28 PM
 
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MrsM0829
... With a cherry on top!!!

Member since 11/09

1332 total posts

Name:

Re: MIL is dying

I have no words of wisdom for you, but you will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

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Posted 2/24/10 6:48 PM
 

SusiBee
. . . . .

Member since 3/09

8268 total posts

Name:
S

Re: MIL is dying

I am so sorry that you are going thru this. It is such a horrible disease. Both my mom and MIL died of cancer.

I kept my mom at home to take care of her, and that is where she died.
Most important - GET HOSPICE CARE AT HOME !.
They are absolute lifesavers. Ask for an aide. You will have access to a visiting nurse. They will provide you with any durable medical equiptment that MIL will need - oxygen tanks, hospital bed, shower chair. You also will have the option to have MIL admitted for in-hospice care when needed. My mom's wish was to stay at home and I honored it, even though the last two weeks were really hard.
My MIL was in a nursing home and then transferred to hospice care within the nursing home. FIL couldn't take care of her and we were not in the situation to take her into our home.

It is hard work and it is really scary. I found that the men tend to hide their emotions and tend to deny the situation. My dad always thought that all my mom had to do was eat to get better. I wish that was the case !
My FIL kept telling my MIL that he couldn't live without her, thereby keeping her on this earth longer than she should have.

DH was good toward the end. Our moms died 4 years and 4 days apart from each other. He finally understood why I would wake up in the morning and question God why he did not take my mom and made her live another day. It sounds horrible, but he started doing it too.

Please FM me if you need help, want to ask questions or just need a shoulder.
Unfortunately, been there, done that.
Twice.

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Posted 2/25/10 4:45 PM
 
 

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