Would you be mad at your MIL if...

Ok, I think this is very strange but let me know what you think. My MIL and I do get along but she never makes any efforts with my family. One of my good friends (one of BM, a childhood friend of mine who has NO relationship with MIL and only met her at a few wedding related things of mine) recently bought a house in the same down as MIL. I mentioned it to her and she sent my friend an e-mail congratulating her. She never told me she did this, my friend (who felt a little odd since they have NO relationship!) told me. I am sure she was trying to be nice but I found it a little out of line since she has no relationship with my friend and makes no effort w/my fam. I mentioned it to DH, who thought it was odd. I am not going to say anything but for some reason, it really irritated me!

Re: Would you be mad at your MIL if...

Mine loves to try to pretend she is friends with any and all of friends and coworkers. It's wierd.. She especially loves the flakey ones. She will go on for hours talking about how great the other couples are and then rip me about to her son. It's wierd but it's like she is trying to make us jealous by telling us how everyone else is better then us or about how much she likes everyone but us.

For example she couldn't find one of my friends addresses so instead of just calling My Mom for it (for the the shower) when she was supposed to call my Mom anyway she went on the net and search out her home address but not only did she find that but she felt the need to find the number and call and shoot the breeze with her..It's like she is trying to find out info on us and is very annoying. It just cracks me up because in 5 years she has NEVER called my mom.. she says she will but doesn't..

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odd....maybe
out of line...ABSOLUTELY NOT

I think she was ust welcoming a new neighbor. And i don't think that it has anything to do with you or your family. I don't even know why you made the comparison with them.

I really don't see the big deal at all. SHe was trying to be nice! Why would anyone think badly of that?

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It may seem a bit odd because she doesn't have a direct relationship with her. Actually, I think she was just trying to be friendly and welcoming to your friend, especiallly if she is not used to the area.

When I first moved to DH's town a woman stopped me in the supermarket (my first time in there and I had no idea where anything was). It was my MIL's friend (she said she recognized me by our pictures in my MIL's house). For the first second I was taken a back but I thought it was very nice of her to stop and chat because she could have walked right past me.

I wouldn't think anything of it. I think she had good intentions especiallly since you have a good relationship with her.

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I think you are making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe she wants to have a relationship with others in your life and she saw this a great opportunity to not only welcome a new neighbor but be friendly to her DIL's friends.

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Message edited 11/27/2010 9:33:35 PM.

Re: Would you be mad at your MIL if...

Alittle Weird

Re: Would you be mad at your MIL if...

I don't think it is weird or out of line at all. Your MIL was just trying to be nice and welcome someone new to the neighborhood. Your MIL obviously knew your friend as she was a BM. She probably figured that your friend didn't know a lot of people, if anyone. Sometimes just a familiar face is a good thing.
If I was new to a neighborhood, I would think it was really sweet if a friend's MIL welcomed me.

Re: Would you be mad at your MIL if...

I don't think it's too weird... Maybe she felt that she should welcome her to the neighnbrhood since you made it a point to tell her your friend moved nearby. I just think she was trying to be friendly and there's no need to blow it out of proportion.

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My friend actually knows a lot of people in the neighborhood, including her sister in law and several family members. During my shower and other events, my MIL barely said 2 words to her, and my MIL never even told me she was going to contact her. My sister had surgery and my MIL NEVER contacted her in any way so I thought it was odd that if she is going to reach out to anyone, this is who she would reach out to in my life.

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I would not be mad at all.

If my MIL said that one of her friends was moving near us, I'd send them a note or email congratulating them (since they're going to be living near me)

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How did she get her email address??

I'm not sure I would be mad, but I would be a little confused.

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The thing about it that I found odd was that my grandmother was in the hospital and nothing from MIL and my sister had surgery and nothing from MIL. Why would this be the outreach she chooses to make?

Whatever, I will just hope that this effort will now extend to my family (who had her over for Christmas and also had a dinner for her for her birthday last year but have never been invited to ANYTHING by MIL).

Re: Would you be mad at your MIL if...

I think i would find this strange and it would upset me. Especially since she has made no effort in the past with my family and or friends....

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Edited: I would feel weird if my MIL contacted a friend of mine by email and I would def. think it were strange (then again, I already think my MIL can be strange) But how did she get her email address?

Message edited 8/8/2005 7:59:29 PM.

Re: Would you be mad at your MIL if...

Re: Would you be mad at your MIL if...

Re: Would you be mad at your MIL if...

well, I think that after you read her description, you can infer that what she is confused and maybe didn;t realize what she was asking ,sometimes you write a title to a thread to get people's attention to read what your writing about..SHe could have also assumed that because other people may have similar experiences of gettiing frustrated or mad with their ILs, that maybe they could help her out with the sitation. I think she was really confused and maybe a little taken aback. That's the message I got from her description of the situation.....JMHO...

Re: Would you be mad at your MIL if...

Posted by ssbride05

well, I think that after you read her description, you can infer that what she is confused and maybe didn;t realize what she was asking ,sometimes you write a title to a thread to get people's attention to read what your writing about..SHe could have also assumed that because other people may have similar experiences of gettiing frustrated or mad with their ILs, that maybe they could help her out with the sitation. I think she was really confused and maybe a little taken aback. That's the message I got from her description of the situation.....JMHO...

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Yea, I understand what you're saying... I just feel that sometimes on here it's soo hard to get a clear picture on anything b/c your're writing it. Sometimes words can have so many meanings and hint to so many things.. that each person has their own interpretation.

I respect your opinion....I just thought that maybe she just wrote it b/c she was getting frustrated... sometimes you don't always write so clear when there are emotions involved.



ETA: I wish you luck and I hope the situation with your MIL works out with your fam... sometimes people have their own way of dealing with things and it's hard to know where they're coming from! Good luck!!!

Message edited 8/9/2005 10:45:17 AM.