March for Babies - Opinions...

Hi Ladies -

I don't really know who to ask about this, so I thought I would start here...I'll try to make this short...

For those of you that don't know, I had a full term pregnancy loss this past November, and our daughter Sarah passed away. Next month, my husband and some family and friends and I are participating in the March of Dimes "March for Babies". A close friend of ours is pregnant (She is one of my husbands's very good friends wives, and I have become very close with her.) She wrote me this morning asking me 2 things - 1 being that her shower invitations went out this week, but she asked her mom to hold off on sending mine out until she talked to me because she wanted to see if I even wanted to get one (I actually have a bridal shower that day, so I can't go anyway - but the fact that they are having a girl sealed the deal for me on not going, because at just 5 months after our loss, I can't handle sitting at a shower, watching someone opening little girl gifts.) The second question was that her and her husband want to walk with us in the March for Babies, but they don't want us to be uncomfortable. I honestly don't know how I feel about this. But besides that, I was wondering how other people would feel about it. We've all experienced some kind of loss...and from what I know, most of the people that participate in the walk have also - whether it's themselves, family, or friends...If you were participating, would seeing a 30 week pregnant woman there upset you or make you feel uncomfortable?

Thanks for your help...I really don't know how to answer her...

Re: March for Babies - Opinions...

well i mean...i know it's tough...but you have reminders everywhere...regardless of wether its in people you know or not. I think it's incredibly thoughtful and considerate that she wouldn't send the invite before finding out how you felt first. I also think it's so wonderful and supportive of them to want to walk with you guys. sounds like you've got some good friends there. you might be surprised at how much better it can be with that kind of support.

Re: March for Babies - Opinions...

Message edited 3/31/2010 12:46:45 PM.

Re: March for Babies - Opinions...

Wow that's tough. While I would be okay with it, I don't know how I would feel if I suffered through the loss you have. I think though, since she seems to be very considerate and kind and really genuinely seems to want to be there for you, I would let her. I agree with the above poster, it looks like you have great supportive friends!

Re: March for Babies - Opinions...

Hey there =)
I think its really thoughtful for them to want to be there for you and support you. They may care for your loss and yourself and your DH more than you know and thats why they want to do this for you.

I get what you are saying- but I look at it as support and she as a preganant woman knows how risky any pregnancy is- especially with her being pregnant now and you going through this.

March for Dimes...doesnt necessarily have to be about a loss of a child., it for premies also...or just people giving their support.

But you know what I understand how you feel if you feel uncomfy then go right ahead and tell them that

Re: March for Babies - Opinions...

I agree with the PPs. I think it's incredibly thoughtful that she thought to call you before sending out the invite.

As for the walk, it's completely up to you. People walk at these things all the time...whether it affects them personally or someone that they know. The real question is: Will you be upset if you see other pg women walking there?

I think your friend is trying to be supportive. I think she will be understanding if you told her didn't want her to go on the walk with you.

Let us know what you decide!

Re: March for Babies - Opinions...

I think it was very nice of them to join you and DH in the walk the march of dimes in honor of your little girl. I wouldn't know what to say to her or react if I went through the loss you did. Its your call.

Honestly I do get alittle jealous seeing a pregnant mommy. One of DH's friends wife is due 4 days before my due date And I really don't want to see her because my M/C has only been a month.