Just a vent.

Since I have now cried my eyes dry...
I got pregnant basically without trying. Everything happened so fast. I was pregnant & then I wasn't.
Even though it was a + on a stick, I saw a baby. I saw myself cooking x-mas dinner with a newborn sleeping behind me. I saw DH & I laying in bed with a baby between us & watching her sleep.
I never even though about having a miscarriage. Instead I was worried about booking our newborn shoot & taking my belly pics ASAP so I could track how big I was getting. DH & I spent a fortune on a professional camera. We finalized our baby names & started our financial planning so I could work part-time after the baby was born.
I was worried it would be a girl & she would have DHs hair & I wouldn't know what to do with it.

& now I feel empty. Everybody I know is pregnant or has a little baby.

I'm so not emotionally ready to even try again.
I'm dreading going back to work & school this week & facing the world. I want to stay in my bed forever.

Re: Just a vent.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.

I felt the exact same way before my m/c, I never in my wildest nightmares would I have ever thought that I would be one of those girls who loses a baby. I felt broken, I felt useless, I felt empty....it gets better, I promise. This is coming from someone who only 2 1/2 months ago was going through the exact same thing. It gets better, it gets easier, you will never forget but you move on.

It is the most unfair thing in the world to happen to a woman and as much as DH is there, they never quite understand what it's like to go through the physical loss on top of the emotional loss. It takes a big toll on us.

Please be hopeful, if you got pregnant so quickly thats a great sign. After I miscarried, my dr told me the one good thing out of all of this is you know you can get pregnant and you WILL get pregnant again.

Again, I am so sorry you are going through this, I will keep you in my prayers. Whenever you feel the need to cry, just let it out. I used to be out all day and come home and cry and cry and then I would feel better. It helps.

Re: Just a vent.

I sent you a FM...

but i just wanted to send Sometimes its more than the loss thats so hard. it's all the plans for the future that you had already made. I'm sorry hun.

Re: Just a vent.

I know exactly what you mean....finding out you are pg and then making all these plans.
It's such an exciting time, you start to day dream what it will be like. Then out of no where, dreams are shattered. It's heartbreaking. It's esp bad in the beginning b/c it's so fresh and your hormones are EVERYWHERE! But I promise you, each day it gets better. Just take it one day at a time. If you want to stay in bed, stay in bed. If you want to cry, cry. You have to do what you need to do. *HUGE HUGS* You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Re: Just a vent.

I felt exactly that same way and you know what your right those thoughts that hit us right away thinking about having a child....going through those emotions and dreaming about our future hurts...we saw so much...Im so sorry for your loss

Re: Just a vent.

What has been so hard for me to try to handle and grasp is that my hopes and dreams have been forever changed. My innocence has been taken away in a sense, because I know that not all pregnancies end happily...

Hugs for you

Re: Just a vent.

awww I am so sorry for your loss. Getting that positive test was the happiest day of my life and then it just disappeared. Just disappeared. All that is left is worry, fear, sadness, anger etc. I feel your pain. We all went through it. I love the last person statements, realizing that "not all pg end happy" is so sad but its our reality. I hope you find comfort on this board. Hugs

Re: Just a vent.

It is so hard but it gets better. I didn't want to think about trying for another because I wanted THAT BABY. This board really with all the emotions.

Re: Just a vent.

I agree that it does get better over time. The week before I found out the baby's heartbeat stopped DH and I were in our hallway and he comes up to me and rubs my belly and Says I can't believe we are pregant again We were excited for autumn to have a sibling.

I had already thought of some names for girls and boys and I was excited and really nervous because money issues was a big problem for us. I even looked at bedding and double strollers. I didn't think I would have a M/C but it was in the back of mind that it could happen because both my sisters' had one.

It just plainly sucks, I hate the fact we were robbed of this pregnancy and I believe now that god had a reason for this pregnancy to end.