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luckynumber3
LIF Infant
Member since 6/10 70 total posts
Name:
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those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
How do you remain positive? Does the fear ever go away? I want to be happy but i'm more afraid than ever!
I just got my BFP and AF isnt due for a couple of days so it's scary that she will show up and it will be over again. Going to the bathroom is torture....i'm afraid i'll see red when I wipe...DH says I'm driving myself crazy.
Yesterday I had a small...I mean tiny amount of light brown when I wiped only and I already thought something was wrong...the spotting went away quickly.
btw...i'm a regular poster here...just hiding bc i'm afraid the worst might happen.
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Posted 7/22/10 8:09 PM  |
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
Can't help since I'm waiting for lucky number 3 as well but just wanted to send you lots of  
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| Posted 7/22/10 8:22 PM |
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bride07
Ava Rose you are an angel!!!
Member since 3/09 6115 total posts
Name:
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
First off lot's of hugs!
Spotting is very normal in the beginning & light brown is old blood. That is a good sign Af isn't showing up.
Stay positive that everything will work out!!
Unfortnately after a m/c you are always be a little more fearful and anxious for the next pregnany.
I had two m.c too, so for this pregnancy I have been a nervous wreck. It does get better, each appt you feel much better! Even just seeing the HB at 7-8wks will allow you to feel a little more comfort. Does the fear every go away? Well to be honest I dont think so....I think that is what happens to any mother once you find out you are pregnant... You just continue to worry non stop....1st ..It's seeing the HB, then the NT Scan, then the Anatomy Scan...and it just keeps going. LOL And i take that and maginify for those women who Experience a m.c.
Here is my best advice. After two m.c I was terrified this time around. I WOULD NOT ALLLOW MY FEAR TO TAKE OVER and ruin this happy time. SO I tried as much as I could to Focus on the great positive things....by dreaming and planning away.
So Start thinking of babynames you love, nursery ideas, books, go online and look at the outfit...etc. You enjoy to be happy and excited so dont let the nerves ruin it for you. This is a great way to distract you.
Also, listen to Michael Buble "just haven't met you yet". That was my SONG for this pregnany. it just always put a SMILE ON MY FACE...and I could relate to the words when thinking about m/c and pregnancy.
Goodluck!! Lot's of prayers for you!!!
I DO BELIEVE YOUR 3rd TIMES A CHARM!!!!!!
Michael BUBLE VIDEO
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| Posted 7/22/10 8:28 PM |
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our-secret
LIF Infant
Member since 12/06 371 total posts
Name:
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
It was hard not to think about the "what if" but as each doctor appt passes, it gets easier. I always tried to think of the m/c as having some purpose and that the baby inside was the one that was meant to be. Once you really start planning for everything and buying things, it gets better and the fear diminishes. I wish I could tell you it goes away, but for me it never did.
Good luck and hang in there
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| Posted 7/23/10 8:30 AM |
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
The fear will go away. I think after 12 weeks I felt a lot better and now at 22 weeks I am going to enjoy this pregnancy. In a weird way I feel like the mc made me feel a little less nervous that something was wrong. Like if there was a problem my body would have taken care of it.
Its hard but try to remember the odds are in your favor that everything will be ok.
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| Posted 7/23/10 9:30 AM |
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Lisa982006
Mommy of 2! Ty God
Member since 9/06 3107 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
Posted by bride07
I had two m.c too, so for this pregnancy I have been a nervous wreck. It does get better, each appt you feel much better! Even just seeing the HB at 7-8wks will allow you to feel a little more comfort. Does the fear every go away? Well to be honest I dont think so....I think that is what happens to any mother once you find out you are pregnant... You just continue to worry non stop....1st ..It's seeing the HB, then the NT Scan, then the Anatomy Scan...and it just keeps going. LOL And i take that and maginify for those women who Experience a m.c.
This is exactly the same for me only I think Rachel handled herself better then I did/am. She is right when she says you have to STAY POSITIVE. I can admit, I really let my anxiety take over and Im still very nervous even at 18 weeks. I usually feel better after a dr appt but then a few days later, the fear creeps back in. You really have to try hard to let go of all that. I found out on Monday Im having a girl and all week I have been happy and carefree and FINALLY felt pregnant. Now of course Im starting to worry again 
I would say just try to embrace every milestone as it comes. When you see the HB, try to let go of some fear. When you have the NT scan and are in the 2nd tri, let go of a little more and as you get further and further along, with every good appt just try to let more and more fear go. Thats one thing I didnt allow myself to do.
good luck!! you will be in my prayers!!
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| Posted 7/23/10 11:15 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
I had two losses before Abby - one was a chemical and one happened on its own at about 6.5-7 weeks. I had one before Zippy that required a D and C. The baby had Trisomy 16 and never would have lived past the first trimester. There was no heartbeat.
I will speak for myself only. Miscarriage changed me forever. I was forever fearful throughout my pregnancy with Abby and at 32 weeks, I am horribly frightened that something can and will happen. I will not feel settled until they place my son in my arms and tell me he is healthy. That's my bottom line.
At the same time, I am able to realize that G-d took these children for a reason whether I like it or not. Perhaps it was to save them from a difficult life or to save us from further grief and heartache.
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| Posted 7/23/10 5:08 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
I had a late miscarriage at 19 weeks last year, and now have an almost 5 month old baby.
The fear doesn't go away, but remaining positive is essential for your own well being. I just kept telling everyone that I had my eyes on the prize...I just wanted to hold that baby!
I went for extra scans, and that kept me going! Just keep your chin up! Get a Doppler, that might help you feel more positive!
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| Posted 7/24/10 11:53 AM |
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franklee
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/07 563 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
I don't think the fear ever goes away until you are holding that baby in your arms...My first pg ended in m/c at my 8 week sono when I was told there was no heartbeat..I was devastated and when I became pg again..I was terrified of that first appt. Thankfully I delivered a healthy little girl but every appt I expected to hear nothing...not a good way to go through pg...now at 12 weeks..I'm a wreck all over again..I got through the first 8 week sono...but since its been 4 weeks and I have no proof that all is ok...I'm nervous for my Friday sono appt...I think it's only natural...I do believe that everything happens for a reason and I do try to think positively but it is hard when you've been through what seems like the worst..Good luck to you..My thoughts and prayers are with you through this process!
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| Posted 7/25/10 9:32 PM |
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HappyWife515
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/09 406 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
Around 14 weeks I started to feel more and more secure about this pregnancy. I think I was just to scared to get my hopes so high again to have them crashing down. But every appointment was more and more reassuring. I don't think being nervous will every completly go away for me I still check when I wipe at 25 weeks!
But please try to enjoy this time and really try not to worry. I wish I would have focused more on the positive instead of being so scared. I feel we all got jipped out of feeling the pure joy of being pregnant in the beginning.
Hang in there! And CONGRATULATIONS on your BFP!!! Lots of hugs and prayers for you!
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| Posted 7/26/10 9:44 AM |
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zoe282
We have our miracle!
Member since 8/08 3634 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
First off congratulations!! It's really hard and the fear never really goes away. I will be honest and say the first trimester DRAGGED on! But I always tried to remind myself that MOST of the time everything goes as planned and you go on to have a healthy pregnancy. Keep little milestones in your head too. Like once you hear the heartbeat your risk goes down immensely...then the next marker is 10 weeks. After that so much is developed the risk goes down even more! Then after 12 weeks I had to let it go and enjoy myself.
Now at 20 weeks I still get nervous before each appt. i try not to but I do. but i think it's normal and I will have to be ready to be scared for the rest of this kids life! lol
Hang in there!
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| Posted 7/26/10 11:26 AM |
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My4GirlsMyLife
My 4 girlies
Member since 2/08 9702 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
I had a m/c ( a molar) and I was very scared in the beginning of each pregnancy , but the fear subsided the longer I was into each pregancy
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| Posted 7/27/10 1:34 PM |
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ChenAnChulo524
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/10 627 total posts
Name:
Vivian
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
My fear didn't go away at all until I passed the first trimester and begin to start feeling the baby kick. DH & I didnt tell anyone except for our parents until we passed the first 12wks.
Just pray and pray....Lots of praying that everything will be okay !
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| Posted 7/28/10 10:48 AM |
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waytogo
Balancing act on a highwire
Member since 5/05 1292 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
I was a complete nut until I brought him home from the hospital even though everything was fine. Luckily I had very understanding Obs...
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| Posted 8/3/10 4:31 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
Michael BUBLE VIDEO
What a perfect song!
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| Posted 8/3/10 10:09 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
best wishes to you.....
all i can say is try to stop looking at the paper and only be concerned if something hits the panties. after 2 mc i was totally freaked out- one spontanous one missed...... with ds I did end up having 2 episodes of light spotting, but you kinda know its different.....
Message edited 8/11/2010 10:30:28 PM.
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| Posted 8/11/10 10:29 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
I have been wondering how I'm going to handle this as well.... My loss was between 16-17 weeks so I feel like it will be a while into my next pregnancy until I am really able to relax. I swore all week that the next time I am pregnant I won't tell anyone until 20wks!!! In reality though, I will wait until the 16wk appt- the same one where I got the horrible news this time.. and if all goes well I will tell people at that point. If people guess beforehand I'll say yes- but I won't voluntarily announce it or anything until later.
Family doesn't count- I will tell family right away since they know how hard this is for us and are so supportive and rooting for us through all of this. For those who don't know, use infertility treatments.
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| Posted 8/12/10 5:52 PM |
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Metsmomma
Happy Winter!
Member since 1/09 5351 total posts
Name:
Renee
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
my loss was at 8 weeks. this time around i was nervous going in to the first sono. then when i found out it was two, i was even more nervous. then i had bleeding in my 11th week and was hysterical!!! it was just implantation bleeding, and everything was fine. i wish you all the luck in the world!!!!!!!
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| Posted 8/14/10 8:51 PM |
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Cookiegobbler
My little love bugs!!
Member since 9/05 5759 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
Posted by waytogo
I was a complete nut until I brought him home from the hospital even though everything was fine. Luckily I had very understanding Obs...
This was me also! I literally have a huge book of sonograms, because I kept making them check to make sure he was okay!
I should ETA.... I rented a doppler, and that helped keep me sane and reassured!
Message edited 8/19/2010 11:05:34 AM.
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| Posted 8/19/10 11:04 AM |
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Ever-After
Goals w/o plans r just wishes
Member since 6/09 2585 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: those of you pregnant after having miscarriages...
Posted by zoe282
First off congratulations!! It's really hard and the fear never really goes away. I will be honest and say the first trimester DRAGGED on! But I always tried to remind myself that MOST of the time everything goes as planned and you go on to have a healthy pregnancy. Keep little milestones in your head too. Like once you hear the heartbeat your risk goes down immensely...then the next marker is 10 weeks. After that so much is developed the risk goes down even more! Then after 12 weeks I had to let it go and enjoy myself.
Now at 20 weeks I still get nervous before each appt. i try not to but I do. but i think it's normal and I will have to be ready to be scared for the rest of this kids life! lol
Hang in there!
I agree with these words exactly. My first trimester DID drag. It was scary. And I had a lot of CM so you know how that must've gone for me - always rushing to the bathroom to check!!! I hated that the joy of the beginning of pregnancy was stolen from me. I hated that i couldn't tell a soul, that I myself couldn't even start celebrating yet. I would not allow myself to figure out due dates, I wouldn't think of names. Literally, I just kept praying over this life and nothing else. But I did as Zoe said - set milestones. Just 6 weeks was a big one for me (as I'd never made it that far before). And then hearing that heartbeat at 8 weeks... it was wonderful. When I went again for my 12 week appointment I was a little nervous, but I heard that heartbeat and everything was good. Now that I'm out of the scary first trimester I have allowed myself to celebrate. I just told family last week and will be informing my work in the weeks to come.
So my only advice is to take it one day at a time. Celebrate milestones, relax. I have a calendar that I use to cross off each day as I wait to reach the new week. Each new week was exciting (and still is). Congrats on this pregnancy, I pray it's peaceful and healthy. Even though sometimes it doesn't seem like it, time WILL move and you'll be hearing that heartbeat in no time at all
ETA - by the way I did experience what you had described. I think it was right on the day I reached 6 weeks that I found a tiny itty bitty brown discharge when I wiped and my heart just sunk. I was convinced that was it (as i had lost 3 before this). But it ended up being NOTHING! What you are experiencing is normal. Try not to stress out about it (easier said than done, I know)
Message edited 8/23/2010 7:19:55 PM.
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| Posted 8/23/10 7:17 PM |
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