What if my son won't get on the bus?

I am having major anxiety over this. One of my boys has said he does not want to ride the bus and gets a little upset about it. Not crying but I can see he is uneasy about. He has a tendency to get really upset and then he gets to a point where he is so upset and he can't control it. What if he deos this tomorrow? DH says we just put him on the bus, but I can't do that if he is flipping. At times he gets so worked up he can't calm himself down. My mom suggested that if he is flipping tell him that I will meet him at the school but DH thinks that is a really bad idea and giving in to him. His flip outs are not becuase eh wants to get his way and that it works he just gets so upset he can't calm down if that makes any sense.

What is the best way to handle this?

Re: What if my son won't get on the bus?

There isn't much you can do to force him on. If he's flipping out the bus driver won't move the bus until he's calmer.

The other kids at the bus stop may be able to help by making friends. Maybe tell him, we're going to try this for today & see how it goes.

One thing to definitely do is to be very matter of fact about it. Approach it like we all have jobs to do & yours is to go to school & ride the bus.

Good luck today!

Re: What if my son won't get on the bus?

You probably won't get this in time, but DO NOT drive him to school today or even let him know this is a possibility. If you drive him today you will drive him all year because he will know that there is really no reason why he HAS TO take the bus. Once he gets on the bus and rides it to school his anxiety will diminish considerably. If you're lucky, you will have the kind of driver who will take control, calm him, seat him in the front seat (with his brother) and talk to him the whole ride. If this doesn't happen, suggest or INSIST on it. On the first day it's so important for him to arrive with the children and start to feel like part of things.

ETA I think telling him you will meet him there is probably the best idea for this week at least, or until he is more confident. It's not giving in. It's a compromise. But once you get there, don't linger. Lots of praise, a quick kiss and then leave so he don't get used to or expect long goodbyes.

Good luck! I will be thinking of you guys!

Message edited 9/7/2010 7:13:58 AM.

Re: What if my son won't get on the bus?

Thanks for the replys. I will not drive him there I will make him get on but I didn't know if going to the school would be just as bad. Hopefully eh surprises me and gets on fine. Mattingly si more upset then Joey is and we thought Joey would be the one with the anxiety about school.

Re: What if my son won't get on the bus?

I thought DD#1 was gonna lose it going on the bus when she was in K. I swore up and down it would happen. She even refused to get on the bus at our Kingergarten round up(in the summer). She cried so hard.
WELL.......... after all my worry, the 1st day of school came and she got right on the bus No tears. Well not from her anyway

Re: What if my son won't get on the bus?

DS had major anxiety the first few days of Kindergarten and getting on the bus. We had to drive him for about a week. Once he got used to the whole bus/school thing, he was fine, and now he enjoys the bus. If he's traumatized every time he's forced onto the bus, he may never learn to like it.

These are some HUGE transitions, especially for DC who are prone to anxiety. No need to make it even worse than it has to be.

Re: What if my son won't get on the bus?

They woke up and were both excited about school. They got on the bus without a problem. I got on with them and helped them get buckled in and they were off.

Only thing is they were on the correct bus but the driver does not have that corner as a stop. We did see the bus drive by our house again so we know it was the right bus but the stop is on a busy corner so a se, ne, nw, sw would be helpful. But what do I expect they gave me a bus pass as well as my 2 kids one.

Re: What if my son won't get on the bus?

You know you're too involved with this site when you sign on to see if someone (who you've never met)'s kid got on the bus.

Glad it went well.

The point is moot now but ITA with not driving them to school if you can avoid it. Our kindergarten told us the same thing - they miss the bus a few times & then they want you to drive them every day.

Re: What if my son won't get on the bus?

Glad it went well.

My son swore I'd have to take him to school everyday. Now he wants to ride the bus with his sisters.

Re: What if my son won't get on the bus?

Today they were super excited about the bus and when they got on started telling the bus driver about their new umbrellas, so crisis averted.