When you get your DC/step child back....

Ex-H and I have joint custody of DS. He has him everyother weekend and 2 days during the week. DS is almost 3

When he has him during the week, he drops him off at school - not an issue.

When he has him all weekend, my DS is a NIGHTMARE on Sunday night. Every other weekend we go thru this adjustment period. When he wakes up on Monday everything is fine - he's back to his normal well behaved self.

I know the rules are much stricter in his house. I also know he doens't nap for him on Sunday - but he doesn't usually nap for me and I don't have to deal with the tantrums, acting out I do on his weekends.

I know this isn't a "step-parent" issue per say but figured it would be close because of the visitation issues.

I don't know when he'll outgrow it. I usually just try to stay calm and ride out the storm. Last night with Hanukkah, presents, extra person at dinner, candy (don't ask) it was bad.

I feel bad for my son that he has to go thru this. I know its not easy on him. I know its not his norm behavior.

Someone just tell me that you have gone thru it and it gets better soon.

~TIA
Crasher

Re: When you get your DC/step child back....

When my SD came for visitation , I'm not sure how she was after she went back to her mothers house ( I'm guessing ok because we never heard otherwise), however my friend had some issues when her 2 DS's would stay at their dads house for visitation...


Much like you decscribed , they would have a hard time almost settling back into routine, she had some behavior issues with them and it would take them a couple of days to get back into the "groove" ..They are now 7 & 8 and things from what I understand did get better...

I think the whole house-to -house thing just takes some time

Re: When you get your DC/step child back....

In the beginning, my SD had issues adjusting. DH and BM had a discussion so that it was ensured that what she was doing at her house was followed through at our house...bed time, nap time, bath time, roughly the same meal times. That way, the only part of her routine that was effected was physically where she was. It definitely helped.

Re: When you get your DC/step child back....

I think the major problem is that we don't see eye to eye on punishment/disclipline. I'm more easy on him and ex-h is more strict.
Ex - last time I went to get DS he was whining about wanting to hold something - shed a few tears. Ex-H was all over him after 10 seconds and I was trying to let him say what he wanted and trying to keep him calm.
Neither one of us is going to change.