Do you think this is an appropriate question...

...coming from my HR rep?

"so you've been married for a few years, do you have kids yet? are you planning on having kids?"

just thought it was kind of

Re: Do you think this is an appropriate question...

God no!

Re: Do you think this is an appropriate question...

Absolutely not.

Re: Do you think this is an appropriate question...

I bet a man never gets asked this question! I was asked in an interview if I had kids...it was an all male panel

Re: Do you think this is an appropriate question...

Not only is it inappropriate, it is ILLEGAL.

When I was an attorney at a firm, I interviewed many, many candidates for associate positions and we were always trained NOT to inquire about marital status, kids, etc. You don't want to be accused of discrimination (i.e., not hiring because someone has kids, may have kids, etc.).

Of course, those are common "small talk" subjects, and the interviewees themselves often bring them up. In your case, perhaps the interviewer was simply trying to break the ice and was unaware of the implications her questions might have?

Re: Do you think this is an appropriate question...

Sorry- I should have been more clear. It wasnt on an interview...I happened to be speaking to my HR rep about something else, and she came out with that.

I guess I'm not surprised...some of the stuff this woman has said and done over the years is quite shocking, for an HR rep

Re: Do you think this is an appropriate question...

Nope and it is against the law!

Re: Do you think this is an appropriate question...

Oh, ok - you were clear, but I misread and thought it was an interview situation!!! But still, dangerous territory for an HR rep. Still potential for discrimination lawsuits...

But aside from the legal implications, I just think it's odd when anyone (except maybe a close familly member or friend) asks this question, because you really never know someone's personal situation. At best, it's intrusive, and at worst, can be hurtful!

Re: Do you think this is an appropriate question...

Though the question isn't technically illegal, it's very slippery territory for an HR person to get into. There are all kinds of potential discrimination issues that could come up, even if the person asking the questions meant them completely innocently.

And in any case, as was already mentioned, the question is in poor taste in almost any circumstance. Yuck.

Re: Do you think this is an appropriate question...

Of course it isn't, totally inappropriate ! However, I have been asked a similar question many times... "you have little ones? Oh, so young? Oh, you have TWO of them?"

What are you gonna due, sue them before they even offer a job? And if they don't offer a job, they won't say that's it's because you have kids or plan on having them. It will be because they went with a "more experienced candidate"!

It's very tricky issue!

Re: Do you think this is an appropriate question...

That question is totally illegal. My best friend works in HR and she told me so.

I had the same question come up on an interview. I was offered the job, but declined it and told them why....(thank g-d I had another job offer)

I told them exactly how it was illegal and how for future they should NOT ask that question beacuse it can get them in big trouble.....

Re: Do you think this is an appropriate question...

I don't know... if it wasn't in an interview maybe she was just trying to be nice and make small talk? I honestly wouldn't even think twice about it if someone asked me that.