When asked why you are CF, ever want to say....

Tired of CF not getting much activity - we need to keep the energy alive here..

But every time someone asks me or DH why we are childfree, do you ever feel like responding, "well same reasons YOU aren't?...Why would you WANT to have kids in this day and age?"..

I already did the Pros and Cons and frankly, every category where we think of havings kids - there are more "Cons" than "Pros!" for us....

And when asked to list my reasons, I just give em this list....

1. 9 months is a long time to wake up every day with morning sickness and walking around with a stomach the size of of 4 footballs
2. Childbirth is painful, even with epidurals or recovering from a C-section
3. Screaming babies result in sleepless nights
4. there goes your bank account and retirement money !
5. College savings accounts?hello?!
6. The world is overpopulated as it is.
7. Who can really afford to be a stay at home mom or dad? Even with a father making $$ in finance/law, etc, if he loses his job there goes that idea....and if you decide to quit your job to have kids, well...there goes that promising career!
8. Daycare costs. Enough said.
9. Do you really expect kids to actually take care of you in old age? Maybe in ancient China that worked, but look at how many old people in retirement homes complain about kids that never visit them. So much for that idea! We all die alone anyway.
10. holy cow batman, have you seen the cost of health insurance under Family Plans?
11. Let's not even talk about the damage to your boobs and body after spitting out a baby - it can result in loss of sexual interest by husbands...
12. Massive lifestyle adjustment. Can't fly off to Aruba or hit Vegas for the weekend whenever that particular hair gets up your ***.
13. Remember how you broiled with rage at those inconsiderate folks who bring their bratty, fussy, crying kids into restaurants or on hours-long plane rides? Well, now that a-hole is YOU.
14. You will get gray hairs faster due to constant worrying over your kids whereabouts, health and overall future.

Message edited 3/4/2011 12:12:55 PM.

Re: When asked why you are CF, ever want to say....

this post reminds me of the sexual orientation issue. not exactly the same because i believe you are born one way and don't "change your mind" but as far as being tolerant of those different from you.

To some, having children is part of their life and they can't imagine it being any other way. To others, being childfree is part of their life and they cant imagine it being any other way. Sadly there are grey areas and some people who want kids cant have them or who dont want them have them... but...

if someone is to ask "why are you CF?" I think it's totally fair to flip it back on them and say that is the same wonder you have as to why they would want to have children, as you cant imagine yourself wanting that...

sorry if this is a jumble, I think think people are intolerant asssholes.

Re: When asked why you are CF, ever want to say....

I have no desire to explain my status.
If asked, I ignore the question.
Simple as that.

Unless it is coming from someone really close to me, I find it to be incredibly rude.

Re: When asked why you are CF, ever want to say....

When DH and I first announced to family and friends that we planed to stay CF, we got a lot of questions and negative feedback. IT was very hurtful to us that no one took us seriously and put both of us on the defense. We made lists similar to the one above with tons of reasons why it wasn't for us.
After time, we just came to realize that no matter how many reasons we had for not having them, there were parents out there who could take each and everyone of those reasons and turn them into a reason to have them.
Now, when asked about having children, DH and I both just say we are happy with the way things are. We are both career orientated and it just makes sense for us. That seems to stop a lot of the questions.

Re: When asked why you are CF, ever want to say....

DH and I were very upfront with everyone very early on that we "weren't having kids, we were having puppies".

And then my pregnant friends were constantly telling me that I'll really want one of my own one day... (um.. Why, just because you do??).

So when I would get the "when are you" question, I started replying with things like "What's your Bra Size?" or "How much money do you make?" or "What is your sex life like?"... they'd respond similar to "that's very personal".. and I say back "bingo!".

Most people now know better!

Re: When asked why you are CF, ever want to say....

It's a su*ky question, regardless of why you are CF, some are by choice, some aren't. Either way, it's nobody's business, but everyone asks, it's very rude.

When DH and I were quietly TTC, even with IF treatments, not telling family, my BIL (dh's brother) started asking me when was I going to make him an Uncle, I asked him how much his mortage and debt was and it quickly ended the conversation.

Re: When asked why you are CF, ever want to say....

Re: When asked why you are CF, ever want to say....

i have 2 ways of answering this question:
for people that i dont really know that well i simply say that i can't have kids (not true -as far as i know) people tend to not know how to respond to that so they leave you alone.
for people that i do know very well - i strick a pose and say "do you know how long it took me to look like this and you want me to ruin that with getting prego" this usually gets a laugh and the topic gets dropped (i am not in very good sharp, although round is a shape)

Re: When asked why you are CF, ever want to say....

omg I hate the speeches I get. I am 43 not 33. Cmon people do th math and stop asking such a PERSONAL question!

Re: When asked why you are CF, ever want to say....

These are some great points