Extremely moody 7 1/2 year old - HELP PLEASE

I am at my WITS END with my 7 year old son. I really do not even know what to do at this point. NOTHING makes this child happy. If I say the sky is blue, he will say its green. I will tell him "Its chilly, go grab your sweatshirt" he will yell at me that I am mean!

He is moody, grumpy, sarcastic, and plain MEAN sometimes. When he is with his friends or at school, he is perfectly fine and happy. It appears to be an attitude thats reserved for home, and quite frankly, I am done. I am a SAHM, and have been since he was born (he is my oldest), and I cannot help but to feel like a failure as a mother. My son who was the happiest baby in the world, always laughing, always a smile on his face, has morphed into this obnoxious attitude-y kid who I cannot stand to be in the same room with at times

I have tried calmly talking to him, trying to figure out whats wrong. I have yelled, I have threatened to take away things if his attitude does not change, I have tried commisserating with him, telling him stories from when I was a kid... its like

What am I doing wrong? I really need some insight here. I expected this behavior at 12, or 13 years old... not at 7. He is still a BABY at 7!

Any insight is appreciated. I am almost ready to take him to a child psychologist, but when he is doing something that HE wants to do, he is fine!

Edited to add: my other 2 children are not like this at all, but then again, they are 6 and 3.

Message edited 5/16/2011 4:07:07 PM.

Re: Extremely moody 7 1/2 year old - HELP PLEASE

My son is very moody as well and he was also very happy as a baby. I can not blame myself...I do the best I can. I am rather strict and my ds does get punished fo being fresh. Rewards and lots of praise for being calm works well most of the time, but nothing stops his moodiness completely. Maybe this is just the age for boys.

GL

Re: Extremely moody 7 1/2 year old - HELP PLEASE

All I can say is WOW... I could have written this myself. The only difference is that I'm not a SAHM and my younger 2 are almost 5 and almost 6 months. I have also recently thinking about a Psychologist for him too. I have been dealing with so much with him too. He's almost 7.5 years old. I've tried everything too and NOTHING works! I've cried so many times it's not funny. I feel like a failure as well. I have recently said the same thing to my mom and DH, that I expect this behavior at 12 or 13 but not my 7 yr old. Whatever you're doing wrong, I'm doing wrong too. My son is such a great kid, but is the nastiest meanest kid too when he wants to be. He is also perfectly fine when he's doing what he wants to do too. I don't know what to do anymore either. All I know is that this can't continue. My son is a big kid already for his age so I can't imagine trying to punish someone who's taller than you at 12! I do have to say that it feels a lot better knowing I'm not alone even though what we're dealing with we don't deserve! You can FM if you'd like and we can talk further and vent to each other.

Re: Extremely moody 7 1/2 year old - HELP PLEASE

Unfortunately, it's similar to the "terrible 2s". Somewhere around 7-8 years old, they go through another phase. DS just turned 8, and he's like that often. Disagrees with most things at home, but always laughing and having a good time with friends. Luckily for me, he's not always like that.... just most of the time.

I think this is another phase that we have to ride out... until the next one comes....

Re: Extremely moody 7 1/2 year old - HELP PLEASE

Hi everyone. I feel terrible because I can tell this is hard for you and you are taking his behavior personally which is understandable.

The best advice I can give you is to completely ignore the bad behavior and make a big deal about something when he is ttreating you nicely. Also, there needs to be firm boundaries. If your child is nasty to you and then wants you to do something for him (take him somewhere, buy sonething) then you must say no. You must not give him what he wants if he was really hurtful. You do not have to be nasty back,,,in fact you should be very calm. Say, "I did not like being treated that way earlier. You called me a terrible name and it hurts my feelings. When you are not behaving nicely you will not get rewarded." He needs to understand that acting like that will cause a consequence and a big one at that. It will be a hard lesson to learn but once he has, peace in your family will be restored. I know how hard it is to say no, take away a play date, a game, t.v., etc. But it needs to be done. Otherwise the behavior will continue and progress.

Re: Extremely moody 7 1/2 year old - HELP PLEASE

Also, just to be clear ... If you say something will be taken away you must follow through. Kids are manipulative, they quickly learn how to get their way. You can do this And it might make your son upset in the beginning bu it will help him learn to respect you more ( and others) and realize that his behavior will literally NOT be tolerated any longer.