OMG, I am about to cry here: I received one of THOSE emails from Ben's teacher...

Apparently, my son tried to slap a girl in the face. Repeatedly!

I know the girl in question and she is the shyest, quietest thing there is!!! He has had some altercations with another girl in his class, but frankly, I totally see how that one happened. She was a pushy, loud and forceful little thing who constantly got on his case. He tried to hit her during a school trip bus ride when she forcefully took his head and tried to put it on her lap and play baby. So, one might say she had it coming...

But this???

He has been known to hit and we have been trying to nip it in the bud but clearly unsuccessfully!!! His teacher told me previously that Ben has hots for Anna (the one he almost slapped today) so am I to assume it's a 6 year old's idea of courtship???

I am very upset right now and just looking for some advice or just shoulders of other BTDT moms to cry on!

He has been very violent lately. There is no hitting in our house. I mean, I have been known to spank him on the butt here and there when well deserved (although I think he was enjoying all the commotion so I stopped doing that as well) but hitting on the face??? Where would this come from?

Anyone's boy have been going though this stage? What did you do? Did it pass?

Thank you for reading and for any advice you can give me!

Re: OMG, I am about to cry here: I received one of THOSE emails from Ben's teacher...

Ugh, no advice, just lots of

Re: OMG, I am about to cry here: I received one of THOSE emails from Ben's teacher...

I am sorry- We had a similar issue when DS was pre-verbal and he would demand attention by hitting or biting. At this daycare, they took care of it by shadowing him and redirecting. I felt terrible at that time but thankfully it was a phase he got over quickly.
At 6, your approach will have to be different. How did his teachers deal with this and the other incident? Are they giving some form of punishment/negative reinforcement? He might be trying to get away with it at school as he knows he can't do this at home with you. You will have to coordinate with his teacher and make sure you are on the same page.
Other than that, is he sleeping enough and how is his diet? Are there any other changes that could be triggering this.
I am sorry I don't have any better suggestions.
Kids are so tough..at any age.
Good Luck!

Message edited 5/27/2011 3:10:51 PM.

Re: OMG, I am about to cry here: I received one of THOSE emails from Ben's teacher...

I don't think anyone should ever "have it coming."
Yes her actions were 100% wrong, but he should be able to use his words to tell her to stop, ask the teacher to move him, or walk away from the situation (not easy on a bus - did he pick to sit next to her?).

Have you tried the methods in the book hands are not for hitting?LINK

I wish you the best of luck!

Message edited 5/27/2011 11:21:01 PM.

Re: OMG, I am about to cry here: I received one of THOSE emails from Ben's teacher...

Does your school have a social worker on staff? If they do maybe see if the teacher can get her to come and observe your DS. Damien has anger issues and I find that when the social worker takes him out of the situation it helps him a lot. She will usually take him to the sensory room where he can throw balls or squeeze a stress ball. Ot just tlks to him about what made him angry.

It is the worst feeling to get that note/email/call so I know exactly how you are feeeling.

Re: OMG, I am about to cry here: I received one of THOSE emails from Ben's teacher...

OKay I am going to be the rude one I guess and say it

1- The teacher never should have e-mailed this to you! This should have been done in a phone call or better yet you should have been called to come down to the school

2- No one has ever has it coming

3- By your own admission you're son is a hitter! You need to nip this in the bud big time. There should be severe punishments at home for this. He should be brought to that little girl's house as well as the other's to apologize.

4- I agree with Stacey called the school social worker and get some advice on how to deal with this. If he was 2 that would be okay but at 5-6 this is NOT acceptable

My daughter had a large chunk pulled out of her head by a neighborhood boy that started playing a game with her and when she started winning he didn't like being beaten by a girl so he pulled a LARGE chunk out. I went to his parents house and talked to the dad nicely and explained why I was upset. Later that night the mom brought him back to my house to apologize to my daughter. We all sat and talked and things are all good now. But my daughter knows to never play games with game or do anything competetive with him.

Good luck!

Re: OMG, I am about to cry here: I received one of THOSE emails from Ben's teacher...

I agree with everyone else, 6 years old is way too old to be hitting other people whether it be because someone was bothering him or just because. What your son is doing is obvious wrong and unusual for his age. I've been working in a kindergarten/1st grade building for 5 years now and it is very rare that any of the children physically interact with the other children with an intent to hurt. If it does happen, the child is brought to the principals office, parent/guardians are called and most likely the student is given out of school suspension the next school day. The student will then begin seeing the social worker when he or she returns to school. There is a big anti bullying movement now in the schools so they take this kind of thing very seriously. Even at the kindergarten level.

Re: OMG, I am about to cry here: I received one of THOSE emails from Ben's teacher...

Thank you all for you advice and encouragement!