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Message edited 1/17/2012 11:18:41 AM.

Re: Bad news

Can I ask you why you think that in time things won't work out, kwim? You guys were doign such an amazing job of taking care of him and loving him. It's so soon. Dogs and cats work it out in time, kwim? It is such a short period of time and I am sure others on here can give you some suggestions on how to introduce them and help them coexist.

But of course, you have been so gracious to him, and if you just feel you cannot keep him or that your cats are too upset, that is your call for sure.

Re: Bad news

I am going to echo with what was said...I think that in time things could get a lot better. When I think about our own Charlie, the first few weeks had their ups and downs. You have to think about what a significant change in his life this is to be in a house and not able to roam freely, and have there be cats there too. And a change for the cats as well. But in time it is quite possible that all of the animals can adjust very well!

But...you have already done so much for Dodger. If you do realize that it isn't going to work, then I commend you for looking for a good deserving home for him and I really hope it works out!

Re: Bad news

We would love, love, love to keep him. DH and I would never be comfortable leaving Dodger and the cats alone in the house because they could hurt each other, so there would need to be a separation.

We are very upset and very torn. We don't think this would ever be fair for the cats or Dodger. We tried so hard, but I feel like we are still failures.

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Re: Bad news

Posted by Goobster

Posted by JAAMS

We would love, love, love to keep him. DH and I would never be comfortable leaving Dodger and the cats alone in the house because they could hurt each other, so there would need to be a separation.

We are very upset and very torn. We don't think this would ever be fair for the cats or Dodger. We tried so hard, but I feel like we are still failures.

I dont know. I just keep thinking it sounds too soon to make such a harsh decision. Did he try to hurt them or did they show aggression towards him? Even still, it's so soon.

Now...is it possible you are afraid b/c you don't know Dodgers history and you are afraid if the cats went at him he might harm them? If that's what worries you, I don't blame you. It's a tough situation to be in. You have been so kind and gracious to Dodger. I want to say give it time but if you feel you will always worry....only you can decide.

Message edited 1/16/2012 8:00:32 AM.

Re: Bad news

Posted by JAAMS

Posted by Goobster

Posted by JAAMS

We would love, love, love to keep him. DH and I would never be comfortable leaving Dodger and the cats alone in the house because they could hurt each other, so there would need to be a separation.

We are very upset and very torn. We don't think this would ever be fair for the cats or Dodger. We tried so hard, but I feel like we are still failures.

I dont know. I just keep thinking it sounds too soon to make such a harsh decision. Did he try to hurt them or did they show aggression towards him? Even still, it's so soon.

Now...is it possible you are afraid b/c you don't know Dodgers history and you are afraid if the cats went at him he might harm them? If that's what worries you, I don't blame you. It's a tough situation to be in. You have been so kind and gracious to Dodger. I want to say give it time but if you feel you will always worry....only you can decide.

Yes, he was barking like crazy when he saw them. I'm afraid that they could both hurt each other...more so that the dog could hurt the cat.

I'm also afraid that he broke a door...I don't know how much better protection we can create than having a wall and a door put up.

We're just very confused right now. Nothing seems right. The arrangement that we have doesn't seem fair to our cats at all, and I don't know that it will be fair to him, but now I feel like a failure and that we're giving up too quickly...but I don't know what more we can do to separate them.

Re: Bad news

Wow....sounds stressful at the very least! Was it just him barking at the cat? (cause I would think this is normal) or was he growling and wanting to pounce on it? Did you try having them together (making sure there were places for the cats to escape to)? You mentioned getting a trainer for the leash pulling, etc., a trainer could certainly help integrate the animals. I know I saw an episode of Cesar where he put a dog on a leash in a small room and the owner held the cat. They kind of stayed that way for a while until the dog calmed down and then they would gradually move closer and closer together allowing both the cat and the dog get used to each other.

Re: Bad news

I'm so stressed out that I don't think I'm articulating the problem correctly.

We are willing to put in the time and effort to introduce them. However, we need to have some sort of barrier for the training process/when we aren't here. Our cats are currently in their room, but it's just one room, and it really isn't fair of us to leave them there indefinitely until they get along with the dog. It also isn't safe because Dodger could get through the door if he wanted to, and he did lunge for the cats when he saw them.

We aren't saying that we won't devote some time. We're saying that we don't see how we could physically separate them when we're not home to the point where it is safe for everyone. I'm working from home for this month, so I'm here to watch everything, but once that's over, I'm not going to be here as much. We thought that a wall and a door would be a solution, but it is not working since Dodger can break the door.

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Are you really opposed to crating for some reason. I find that dogs that I have crate trained have really taken to it really well. My puppy used to go in there when he heard me get ready for work and wait for his cookie. It made training him easier. We didn't have to worry about anything when we were gone, and he felt safe in there.

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Jen, I've been reading your updates and posts on facebook as well as the replies and have waited a while before responding.

First, I don't want to say anything to make you feel guilty or like a 'failure'. You absolutely are NOT, and you took in this dog while already having animals at home. Of course you want to help him, but it is totally understandable that your cats are your first priority, as they were there first, and Dodger wasn't even a dog you went out and purposefully brought home. I can feel your pain and struggle and my heart goes out to you. You have done nothing but all the right things here.

If you truly feel that finding another home for Dodger is the best option, and you will know in your heart if it is, then keep trying to do that. In the meantime (or if you do decide to try to keep him), many of the tips suggested are great ones. Especially using a crate! Ozzie is a rescue who had never been crated before, but we didn't 100% know his temperament when we got him so we started crating. It took a bit of getting used to, but now (less than 3 months later) he LOVES his crate. And even when he whined and cried when we left the house with him in it, we had peace of mind that he was safe and couldn't hurt himself or cause damage. Enlisting the help of a trainer is also a good idea, as they can help you with the 'getting them used to each other' process.

If you need to talk, feel free to FM or facebook msg. I want to reiterate that you are doing EVERYTHING right, and you have gone above and beyond for this dog who is so lucky to have found you. This isn't a situation you sought out, and you are still putting everything you have into it. I commend you wholeheartedly!

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Posted by MandJZ
you are doing EVERYTHING right, and you have gone above and beyond for this dog who is so lucky to have found you. This isn't a situation you sought out, and you are still putting everything you have into it. I commend you wholeheartedly!

Re: Bad news

Posted by MandJZ

Jen, I've been reading your updates and posts on facebook as well as the replies and have waited a while before responding.

First, I don't want to say anything to make you feel guilty or like a 'failure'. You absolutely are NOT, and you took in this dog while already having animals at home. Of course you want to help him, but it is totally understandable that your cats are your first priority, as they were there first, and Dodger wasn't even a dog you went out and purposefully brought home. I can feel your pain and struggle and my heart goes out to you. You have done nothing but all the right things here.

If you truly feel that finding another home for Dodger is the best option, and you will know in your heart if it is, then keep trying to do that. In the meantime (or if you do decide to try to keep him), many of the tips suggested are great ones. Especially using a crate! Ozzie is a rescue who had never been crated before, but we didn't 100% know his temperament when we got him so we started crating. It took a bit of getting used to, but now (less than 3 months later) he LOVES his crate. And even when he whined and cried when we left the house with him in it, we had peace of mind that he was safe and couldn't hurt himself or cause damage. Enlisting the help of a trainer is also a good idea, as they can help you with the 'getting them used to each other' process.

If you need to talk, feel free to FM or facebook msg. I want to reiterate that you are doing EVERYTHING right, and you have gone above and beyond for this dog who is so lucky to have found you. This isn't a situation you sought out, and you are still putting everything you have into it. I commend you wholeheartedly!

Re: Bad news

Posted by JAAMS

Posted by MandJZ

Jen, I've been reading your updates and posts on facebook as well as the replies and have waited a while before responding.

First, I don't want to say anything to make you feel guilty or like a 'failure'. You absolutely are NOT, and you took in this dog while already having animals at home. Of course you want to help him, but it is totally understandable that your cats are your first priority, as they were there first, and Dodger wasn't even a dog you went out and purposefully brought home. I can feel your pain and struggle and my heart goes out to you. You have done nothing but all the right things here.

If you truly feel that finding another home for Dodger is the best option, and you will know in your heart if it is, then keep trying to do that. In the meantime (or if you do decide to try to keep him), many of the tips suggested are great ones. Especially using a crate! Ozzie is a rescue who had never been crated before, but we didn't 100% know his temperament when we got him so we started crating. It took a bit of getting used to, but now (less than 3 months later) he LOVES his crate. And even when he whined and cried when we left the house with him in it, we had peace of mind that he was safe and couldn't hurt himself or cause damage. Enlisting the help of a trainer is also a good idea, as they can help you with the 'getting them used to each other' process.

If you need to talk, feel free to FM or facebook msg. I want to reiterate that you are doing EVERYTHING right, and you have gone above and beyond for this dog who is so lucky to have found you. This isn't a situation you sought out, and you are still putting everything you have into it. I commend you wholeheartedly!

Thank you so, so much. That was extremely sweet, kind, and thoughtful of you to write. I really needed that; I'm feeling so crummy about myself today.

Re: Bad news

Try crate traing. It will give your dog a place to feel save and it will keep him from bothering the cats when you are not home. Dog training takes a lot of time but is worth. I can give you referrals for our trainer and animal behaviorist they are all in Westchester.

Re: Bad news

First and formost I think you should neuter the dog.. And get a crate immediately.. Crate training is the only way to train a dog if you ask me.. But never ever use it as a punishment.. After you neuter him he will probably be easier to train at least with the housbreaking. Its not a guarantee he will calm down but he might.. He s still a puppy.. What breed is he? He needs alot of excercise as well ... ALL dogs need it just some mor than others.. keep him in the crate when your out of the house .. When you get home immediately take him out staight from the crate..

While you keep him on the leash let him smell the cats area, litter box, toys etc... Keep doing that .. I think this may help you.. Good luck.. dont give up just yet.. I think you can get this to work..

Re: Bad news

Posted by retrochick

Posted by JAAMS

Posted by Goobster

Posted by JAAMS

We would love, love, love to keep him. DH and I would never be comfortable leaving Dodger and the cats alone in the house because they could hurt each other, so there would need to be a separation.

We are very upset and very torn. We don't think this would ever be fair for the cats or Dodger. We tried so hard, but I feel like we are still failures.

I dont know. I just keep thinking it sounds too soon to make such a harsh decision. Did he try to hurt them or did they show aggression towards him? Even still, it's so soon.

Now...is it possible you are afraid b/c you don't know Dodgers history and you are afraid if the cats went at him he might harm them? If that's what worries you, I don't blame you. It's a tough situation to be in. You have been so kind and gracious to Dodger. I want to say give it time but if you feel you will always worry....only you can decide.

Yes, he was barking like crazy when he saw them. I'm afraid that they could both hurt each other...more so that the dog could hurt the cat.

I'm also afraid that he broke a door...I don't know how much better protection we can create than having a wall and a door put up.

We're just very confused right now. Nothing seems right. The arrangement that we have doesn't seem fair to our cats at all, and I don't know that it will be fair to him, but now I feel like a failure and that we're giving up too quickly...but I don't know what more we can do to separate them.

A training tip, that was taught by an actual trainer:

Try keeping Dodger on the leash and by you till he learns the "house rules". Bring him around the house with you on the leash and your dh too. Bring him near the cats, let him check them out and vice versus. At least if he's on the leash you can correct behavior you don't want and the cats can get away if they are uncomfortable. Have treats on hand to reward good behavior.

Feed them all at the same time, make them feel like they are part of the same pack, not two

Message edited 1/17/2012 9:56:27 AM.

Re: Bad news

honestly if you want the dog then I would try many of the suggestions that people offered. that being said... you weren't looking for a dog and have done a lot thus far for Dodger. Without you guys he would still be on the streets or worse, dead. I'm sure, with the right resources, you can find a cat free home for him. Have you tried rescue groups?

Re: Bad news

Some things that may help if you want to keep him - some have already been said



I think a big issue is that he is not fixed yet. If you neuter him, he will calm down. Too much testosterone running through him.

Crate him!! The crate is key with all training.

Leash him at all times when he's out of the crate. I did this with my rottie when she was a puppy. The only way to train an animal is to be on top of them from day one then give them freedom as time passes.

Exercise! If he was tired, he wouldn't have the energy to break down a door and torture your cats.

Cats and Dogs sometimes just don't get along, but they CAN learn to live together and ignore each other. It just takes time.


A few tips from someone who's had every animal under the sun at one point or another.

HTH

Re: deleted

Dont you do that to yourself.. please.. You are a great person.. If you wanted to keep the dog than this is all good advice.. Honestly If I found a dog I would need to find him another home as well.. And I do not have any cats here in the house.. I am just not looking for another dog.. That dosent make anyone a bad person.. Your a great person for putting in this effort trying to re home him.. I pray for you to have this happen fast!!! Dont beat yourself up.. When he is happy in a cat free home you will feel so good about it.. Please dont worry anymore..

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Sent you FM

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Posted by jilliibabii

Posted by retrochick

Posted by JAAMS

Posted by Goobster

Posted by JAAMS

We would love, love, love to keep him. DH and I would never be comfortable leaving Dodger and the cats alone in the house because they could hurt each other, so there would need to be a separation.

We are very upset and very torn. We don't think this would ever be fair for the cats or Dodger. We tried so hard, but I feel like we are still failures.

I dont know. I just keep thinking it sounds too soon to make such a harsh decision. Did he try to hurt them or did they show aggression towards him? Even still, it's so soon.

Now...is it possible you are afraid b/c you don't know Dodgers history and you are afraid if the cats went at him he might harm them? If that's what worries you, I don't blame you. It's a tough situation to be in. You have been so kind and gracious to Dodger. I want to say give it time but if you feel you will always worry....only you can decide.

Yes, he was barking like crazy when he saw them. I'm afraid that they could both hurt each other...more so that the dog could hurt the cat.

I'm also afraid that he broke a door...I don't know how much better protection we can create than having a wall and a door put up.

We're just very confused right now. Nothing seems right. The arrangement that we have doesn't seem fair to our cats at all, and I don't know that it will be fair to him, but now I feel like a failure and that we're giving up too quickly...but I don't know what more we can do to separate them.

A training tip, that was taught by an actual trainer:

Try keeping Dodger on the leash and by you till he learns the "house rules". Bring him around the house with you on the leash and your dh too. Bring him near the cats, let him check them out and vice versus. At least if he's on the leash you can correct behavior you don't want and the cats can get away if they are uncomfortable. Have treats on hand to reward good behavior.

Feed them all at the same time, make them feel like they are part of the same pack, not two

THIS is exactly how we trained our dog to tolerate cats. When I tell you that everyone told me that this dog (Irwin) and this cat (Dexter) would NEVER EVER be friends, it's the truth. I mean everyone. They scoffed at me.

But I was vigilant. I held Dexter on my lap and pet him and let Irwin sniff him. Dexter was afraid at first (all puffed up and hissy) and Irwin was rude (sniffing and pushing on Dexter) but I told Irwin firmly no and I kept petting Dexter to reassure him that he was safe and I wasn't going to let Irwin hurt him. Eventually, Dexter would start roaming the couch. Irwin would jump up and sniff him and Dexter would run back to my lap. This would go on for awhile, Dexter getting further and further away from. By this point, Irwin was mostly uninterested in anything Dexter was doing anyway, but I kept the leash on him and let Irwin follow Dexter around the house to check him out. If he got too close and scared Dexter, I'd give him a tug on the leash and tell him no and he'd back off. After about a week of this (but an intensive week, where they'd be together, practicing this for about an hour or two each day), they were great together. They actually turned out to be GREAT friends. They would play together (and let me tell you, you've never seen such a big dog be so gentle with such a tiny little kitten), eat together, sleep together, stare our the window together. I've never seen a dog and cat become best friends in real life, I thought that only happened in movies like Milo and Otis.

But my point is, I think you are doing them all a disservice by separating them all the time. They'll never get used to each other that way. And also, it is TOTALLY possible with a little patience to have them live peacefully together, even if it seems impossible. I can't even describe to you how wild and crazy Irwin was when he was a baby. I mean he would literally run off the walls, eat couches, knock over lamps on the first floor while he's on the second floor. I never thought he would be the laid back, cat loving dog he is now, but it was totally worth all the hard work.

And, just as proof....

Sharing is caring.
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Enjoying the view.
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Irwin taking it like a champ.
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