Overprogramming your kids

I have a friend who asked me this the other day, do I think she is over-activity-ing her 5 year old daughter.

She has activities everyday after school:
Mon­day: Lit­tle Voices Choir
Tues­day: Gymnastics
Wednes­day: Rainbow scouts
Thurs­day: Gym­nas­tics
Fri­day: Swimming
Sat­ur­day: Bal­let and Tap
Sun­day: Rest

Do you think this is too muchf or a kid to do after school? She complains that if she is just at home with her daughter the little girl complains she is bored. I say of course she complains, she doesn't know how to keep herself occupied because she is so overprogrammed...

What are your thoughts? My friend is a SAHM and the little girl goes to school full time, 9 am to 3.30 pm. Is this just an avoidance of her spending a lot of time alone with her daughter???

Re: Overprogramming your kids

for me, that is too much.

i'm a SAHM and try to shoot for a balance. i definitely thing it's important for the kiddos to start socializing, but i am trying to do it gradually.

both my kiddos started nursery school at 2.5 going 2 days a week 9:00-12:00. at 3 it's 3 days a week (DD#2 will go 4 times because they now offer it as an option), and 5 days for pre-K with extended days here and there for enrichment classes and lunch parties.

in nursery school DD#1 started off with dance and then in pre-K we added gymnastics. she is now in kindergarten (we only have 1/2 days) - i started piano lessons and told her she could choose from 2 activities, either dance or gymnastics.

DD#2 goes to school 3 days a week and just started dance (they only offer it to ages 3 and above).

DD#1 was in school more in pre-K than kindergarten which personally i think is the better transition from 1/2 to full days. but there is no controlling that.

i really don't know how others manage shuttling their kids all over the place, it's EXHAUSTING!

i have started to arrange more play dates with friends (shooting for a couple a month at least) and my two play with each other a lot as well. they also request their "alone time" to play and think by themselves...

Re: Overprogramming your kids

I definately think that is too much!

We have activities on Wed, Thurs and Friday --- Girl Scouts, Religious Ed and Dance class.

That is IT! As much as there are days that Emily asks me to sign her up for Karate, Ice Skating, Gymnastics, we have made it clear that it is one "class" type activity, and the Girl Scouts and Religion whihc are non-negotiable IMO.

We have Mondays, Tuesdays, Sat and Sunday "free" and honestly with school projects and playdates, we need that to fit everything in!

I feel like she has a well-rounded life but we all need time as a family also. Having a few nights "free" a week gives us plenty of time to have movie nights or spend extra time reading books and playing board games together and that's just how I like it!!

Re: Overprogramming your kids

Looking at that schedule, for me it seems the mom is overscheduled, not the kid.

I'm a big proponent of allowing my kids to be bored. Boredom means they have to figure out a way to create their own fun. Well that or they're told if they're bored they can scrub the toilets or clean their room. I'm also home at 7pm so I'm not going to run around dragging them to practices everywhere.

I don't know if this kid is overscheduled. It depends on the kid & the times. The mom is substituting playtime for a different kind of playtime. My kids have an afterschool program every day after school (from 2:30-5pm ish when my DH picks them up). They have homework club for an hour 2x a week. They have religion 1x a week. One has brownies every other week Are they overscheduled? They're doing arts & crafts, playing in the gym & finishing their homework. I'd rather them do that than sit in front of a TV.

Re: Overprogramming your kids

Yes, *I* personally think that's too much, but I know my DDs (my oldest in particular) would probably love to be doing all those things every day of the week.

I wouldn't necessarily leap to the conclusion that the mom's avoiding time with her DD though--but only you know your friend. Does the girl have siblings? My 6 year old said to me yesterday, "The world would be very lonely without Abby (the little sister). If she weren't here I'd ALWAYS be telling you 'Play with me, Mommy!!!!'" Maybe in that situation, I'd be getting her out of here too.

Anyway, I found myself going down a similar path with her--in the fall she had Daisies, tap, ballet, swimming and two or three days of soccer (practice, then game/s). She even wanted to do gymnastics and tae kwon do as well! But besides it turning MY life into a three-ring circus, I didn't feel it was healthy--from everything I've witnessed and read kids NEED down-time (and even with all of that, she did have three days free). I think that all this over-programming can sap independence and creativity, anyway, that's how I feel.

Re: Overprogramming your kids

What is too much for one child is just fine for another. Depends on the kid. My DD does 4 classes at her cheer gym, but they are done back to back 2 days a week. She wants to do another day in the middle of the week. I said no, because any more than two, I think I would be tired of driving around.

Re: Overprogramming your kids

I think it depends on the child.

My daughter is 5 and very involved in multiple things. It is her choice to stay in these things and I don't want to limit her.

During the fall our scedule was very similiar because of cheerleading and dance, now that cheer is over it died down.

This is her schedule now

Monday: Dance Team/Musical 1 1/2 hrs

Tuesday: Hip Hop/Tumbling 2 1/2 hrs

Friday: Ballet/Tap 1 hour

Saturday: Soccer 2 hours

Cheerleading took up 3 days of practice plus Sunday for Competition/games on top of what she does now.

Re: Overprogramming your kids

Posted by nrthshgrl

Looking at that schedule, for me it seems the mom is overscheduled, not the kid.

I'm a big proponent of allowing my kids to be bored. Boredom means they have to figure out a way to create their own fun. Well that or they're told if they're bored they can scrub the toilets or clean their room. I'm also home at 7pm so I'm not going to run around dragging them to practices everywhere.

Re: Overprogramming your kids

The first thing I thought of is "wow, she must have a lot of extra $$"!

I have 2 kids, and THEY would be stressed if I did that to them. Heck, they complain about going to one activity on weekends, after their HW and long school week. And, so would I. They would have no time to play at home with their OWN toys!

If it works for this family now, I say more power to them, but in the long run IDK.

Re: Overprogramming your kids

For me yes. There are some people though who like to always be busy and involved. Either way I don't see anything wrong with it.

Re: Overprogramming your kids

WHOA! I do one sport for Teddy each season. Winter was supposed to be bowling but I gave him the season off to enjoy being a kid at xmas time. Now I feel like I am underwhelming him.