can't shake the feeling

of incredible loss. Tomorrow was supposed to be my due date. I have been drowning in tears all day. I still can't believe that I'm here without the daughter I carried for 5 months. I'd say I need prayers, but I don't know if I believe in them very much anymore--maybe just some words of encouragement from those who have lived through the experience of what should have been you EDD.

Re: can't shake the feeling

I am with you. Tomorrow was also my edd and here I am still constantly crying. I have now been through another mc. I hope this month flies by. I feel like it never gets better.

Re: can't shake the feeling

I am so sorry... I lost my baby boy at 17wk3d .. so I could totally identify with a later loss- something that I feel is pretty rare (fortunately )

After I had that loss, I went on to have other losses.. and over the past 2 years I have passed many due dates... It's just horrible beyond words Allow yourself this time to wallow... I remember it's all I felt like doing on the first anniversary of when he would have been born. One thing that helped me feel better was someone another LIFer told me. I posted how I was so upset I wasn't pregnant again by the due date and she said it was like I was in a race where I was the only participant. After I passed the due date, I actually felt a huge sense of relief...

However, every year building up to that time, I get very upset. Maybe when I have children it will get easier... but as of now I am still childless and still very much in pain.

I hope tomorrow goes quickly for you...

Re: can't shake the feeling

I'm so sorry. I know the feeling all too well. My son Ryan was born at 21w5d in May. His due date was the end of September. It was a very difficult time.

I find, for me, the hardest part is the anticipation of the day. Not knowing what it's going to be like, what emotions are going to come is terrifying.

We decided to do a balloon release for him. I wrote a note to him and attached it to the balloons and let them go.

It helped me to mark the day in some way. He was very real and lived a very short life but that doesn't mean that it doesn't count.

We're approaching his 1st birthday and I can feel those feelings coming again so we're planning something to mark the day again.

If there's anything you need please feel free to FM me.

I also blog, check it out if you'd like. I have an older son who is 2 that I mention (just so you're aware)

it's www.missingmysweetboy.blogspot.com

Melissa

Re: can't shake the feeling

Thank you ladies--I stayed home from work today, and DH is off on Mondays. We went down to the beach and did a balloon release in memory of our daughter. Attached to the balloons we each wrote a little note. i don't know why exactly, but it was incredibly comforting watching those little pink balloons sail through the sky.

Your words of encouragement and comfort have been life saving. Thank you.

Re: can't shake the feeling