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Can't shake this sad feeling

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maybesoon
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

5981 total posts

Name:

Can't shake this sad feeling

thanks girlsChat Icon

Message edited 12/1/2009 3:38:55 PM.

Posted 12/1/09 9:47 AM
 
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neener1211
:-)

Member since 4/07

22952 total posts

Name:
J

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon I am so sorry you have to go through this with your family.

I know you are disappointed about not being mother of the bride, I think the same way sometimes 'am I going to be the mother of the bride?' or have all boys? But then I look at it this way. You will get new daughters (in laws) when your sons grow up, and not have to raise the girls through their teenage years. And you get to dance with your sons for the mother/son dance at their wedding. There's benefits on both sides of gender.

I am sure the family and you will see what a blessing your son will be once he is here. Many good wishes to you!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/09 9:53 AM
 

jennarose023
Jack's gonna be a big brother!

Member since 11/08

7769 total posts

Name:
Jenna

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

If the comments from your family are bothering you then you should speak up for yourself. IMHO i can't understand how anyone can be disappointed because you are having a boy instead of a girl. Shouldn't you and your family be happy that you are having a healthy baby that will be happy and loved?

Isn't being blessed with the gift of bearing children enough???

I'm sorry please don't take me as being cold or rude, it's my opinion only and all i can say is be happy that your baby is healthy and all the naysayers in your family should take a step back and think before they speak.

Hang in there
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 12/1/2009 10:11:44 AM.

Posted 12/1/09 10:02 AM
 

Lisa982006
Mommy of 2! Ty God

Member since 9/06

3107 total posts

Name:
Lisa

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Posted by jennarose023

If the comments from your family are bothering you then you should speak up for yourself. IMHO i can't understand how anyone can be disappointed because you are having a boy instead of a girl. Shouldn't you and your family be happy that you are having a healthy baby that will be happy and loved?

Isn't being blessed with the gift of bearing children enough???

I'm sorry please don't take me as being cold or rude, it's my opinion only and all i can say is be happy that your baby is healthy and all the naysayers in your family should take a step back and think before they speak.

Hang in there
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



I agree 100%

Posted 12/1/09 10:11 AM
 

munchkinfacemama
LOVE

Member since 11/07

15800 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Posted by neener1211

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon I am so sorry you have to go through this with your family.

I know you are disappointed about not being mother of the bride, I think the same way sometimes 'am I going to be the mother of the bride?' or have all boys? But then I look at it this way. You will get new daughters (in laws) when your sons grow up, and not have to raise the girls through their teenage years. And you get to dance with your sons for the mother/son dance at their wedding. There's benefits on both sides of gender.

I am sure the family and you will see what a blessing your son will be once he is here. Many good wishes to you!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



Even though I am not a mommy yet, I agree with this. There are bright sides to everything, and I know so many all boy mothers are so blessed, not to mention their sons become BFFs! You are entitled to be disappointed, but try to look into the joy of the situation and all you have to look forward to watching your DS's becoming lifelong best friends! Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/09 10:40 AM
 

MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06

19197 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Posted by jennarose023

If the comments from your family are bothering you then you should speak up for yourself. IMHO i can't understand how anyone can be disappointed because you are having a boy instead of a girl. Shouldn't you and your family be happy that you are having a healthy baby that will be happy and loved?

Isn't being blessed with the gift of bearing children enough???

I'm sorry please don't take me as being cold or rude, it's my opinion only and all i can say is be happy that your baby is healthy and all the naysayers in your family should take a step back and think before they speak.

Hang in there


Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



I agree with this as well.

Also, don't jump the gun too fast about the gender. The ultrascreen is VERY early and not really all that accurate in determining the gender. At that early boy and girl parts are very similar looking.

Posted 12/1/09 10:46 AM
 

RandiG
Love my Boys!

Member since 7/09

4440 total posts

Name:
Randi

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Posted by neener1211

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon I am so sorry you have to go through this with your family.

I know you are disappointed about not being mother of the bride, I think the same way sometimes 'am I going to be the mother of the bride?' or have all boys? But then I look at it this way. You will get new daughters (in laws) when your sons grow up, and not have to raise the girls through their teenage years. And you get to dance with your sons for the mother/son dance at their wedding. There's benefits on both sides of gender.

I am sure the family and you will see what a blessing your son will be once he is here. Many good wishes to you!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



I must say ITA, I was at a wedding the other night and started crying when the groom danced with his mom. All I could think about was how that would be me one day. Try not to be sad, babies are all amazing regardless of the sex.

Posted 12/1/09 10:47 AM
 

mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!

Member since 7/08

3324 total posts

Name:
M

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

I hear you with family being disappointed with the sex of the baby, MIL and SIL kept saying they wished DS was a girl, and honestly that is why we are not telling his side of the family the sex of this second baby.

As a mom of a little boy, it breaks my heart that you feel disappointed, I don't fully understand it as ALL babies are blessings. There are so many woman who go through M/Cs or IF, or simply can't have children, and I just don't get how someone can care about the sex of a precious baby, boy or girl-- they are a gift from god, and I hope you start to cherish that side of it soon.

Also know that once that little boy is in your arms you won't have another day that you wished he were a girl, boys are just sooo much fun! DS is only 11 months, and I say all the time about how I can't wait to have our first mother/son dance.. there's no love like a mother and son!
Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/09 10:48 AM
 

headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

First of all Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Do NOT let anyone make you feel worse than you already do. Gender disappointment is totally normal. I am SO SICK of people who have told me (or anyone else) that all you should wish for is a healthy baby. Of COURSE you want a healthy baby. Who doesn't? But do you yell at someone who complains about their job to be grateful that they have a job? Or do you tell someone who complains about their husband to just be glad their husband is alive and well?

I promise you, once that baby arrives you and your family will love them like no other. But the feelings that you have now are normal and are not your fault. Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/09 11:03 AM
 

munchkinfacemama
LOVE

Member since 11/07

15800 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Posted by headoverheels

First of all Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Do NOT let anyone make you feel worse than you already do. Gender disappointment is totally normal. I am SO SICK of people who have told me (or anyone else) that all you should wish for is a healthy baby. Of COURSE you want a healthy baby. Who doesn't? But do you yell at someone who complains about their job to be grateful that they have a job? Or do you tell someone who complains about their husband to just be glad their husband is alive and well?

I promise you, once that baby arrives you and your family will love them like no other. But the feelings that you have now are normal and are not your fault. Chat Icon



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/09 11:05 AM
 

Ladyinred
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/09

544 total posts

Name:

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Posted by headoverheels

First of all Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Do NOT let anyone make you feel worse than you already do. Gender disappointment is totally normal. I am SO SICK of people who have told me (or anyone else) that all you should wish for is a healthy baby. Of COURSE you want a healthy baby. Who doesn't? But do you yell at someone who complains about their job to be grateful that they have a job? Or do you tell someone who complains about their husband to just be glad their husband is alive and well?

I promise you, once that baby arrives you and your family will love them like no other. But the feelings that you have now are normal and are not your fault. Chat Icon



Totally agree

Posted 12/1/09 11:10 AM
 

MaMaTeenie
Party of 5

Member since 4/08

6489 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

I love being the mother of a little boy! They are wonderful, so sweet and let me tell you, nobody loves their mommy more than a little boy. Now that I am adding a daughter to the mix I am actually a little scared. My mother and I dont have the best relationship in the world. Its much better now, but i'm not one of those girls who tells her mom everything. I see how my brothers take care of my mom and my DH still looks out for his mom and it melts my heart to think that I have that in DS. He will always be my little boy and I will always be the first woman he ever loved. I look forward to the day i can dance with him at his wedding. He just better choose a wife i like Chat Icon

As for your family tell them t o shut up! Tell them having a child, no matter what sex, is a blessing and if they have anything other than that to say they should just keep it to themselves.

eta: i totally agree with LB, its normal to be disappointed and dont let anyone tell you different. You will love this baby with all of your heart. Just try to think about what you are getting rather than what you aren't Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 12/1/2009 11:15:07 AM.

Posted 12/1/09 11:12 AM
 

LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.

Member since 11/07

12820 total posts

Name:

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Posted by headoverheels

First of all Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Do NOT let anyone make you feel worse than you already do. Gender disappointment is totally normal. I am SO SICK of people who have told me (or anyone else) that all you should wish for is a healthy baby. Of COURSE you want a healthy baby. Who doesn't? But do you yell at someone who complains about their job to be grateful that they have a job? Or do you tell someone who complains about their husband to just be glad their husband is alive and well?

I promise you, once that baby arrives you and your family will love them like no other. But the feelings that you have now are normal and are not your fault. Chat Icon



I completely agree.

I think in your case you feel even worse because of your family's reactions. I would definitely say something to them so that they'll stop expressing those negative feelings to you - it's only making you feel worse.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/09 11:16 AM
 

spooks
So in love!

Member since 6/06

4378 total posts

Name:
Sarah

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Yeah, the family's neg. comments do not help. Its ok you feel disappointed, I'm sure it will pass. Esp.once that little baby arrives - all will be forgotten and you'll just be in love with your new little one. The bond between son and mom can be just as sweet!

Posted 12/1/09 11:19 AM
 

twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥

Member since 11/07

10116 total posts

Name:
Gabi

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Posted by headoverheels

First of all Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Do NOT let anyone make you feel worse than you already do. Gender disappointment is totally normal. I am SO SICK of people who have told me (or anyone else) that all you should wish for is a healthy baby. Of COURSE you want a healthy baby. Who doesn't? But do you yell at someone who complains about their job to be grateful that they have a job? Or do you tell someone who complains about their husband to just be glad their husband is alive and well?

I promise you, once that baby arrives you and your family will love them like no other. But the feelings that you have now are normal and are not your fault. Chat Icon



ITA. Your feelings are normal. But I would not put any weight into finding out the gender at the ultrascreen. It is WAY too early to find out at that sono. Even if the tech said that she was 'sure' at that stage, the percentage of babies' genitals are not fully formed. Hang in there!! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/09 11:45 AM
 

maymama
my little loves

Member since 8/08

18453 total posts

Name:

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

i just want to add, i do understand your feelings but at 12 weeks it is so early, i think too early to positively ID gender. My sister was told at 12 weeks that she was having a boy. At 16 weeks, they confirmed girl and now I have a beautiful 11 week old niece.

You will become more comfortable with the gender over time (if it is indeed the gender they told you)... there is almost a period of mourning when the gender isnt what you had expected or wanted Chat Icon

best of luck, keep your head up! there are soooo many great things about both boys and girls Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 12/1/2009 12:20:54 PM.

Posted 12/1/09 12:02 PM
 

Annie91606
Brotherly love

Member since 12/07

1816 total posts

Name:
Anne

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

I understand why you feel the way you do. I do not know yet the gender of this baby, but I know it will be our last and we already have a little boy.

Some of my family and DH's, and even my DOCTOR, are saying, "oh- don't you hope it is a girl"?

I will be a little sad if I don't have a girl, but I already know how wonderful little boys are because of my amazing DS, so that is what I will focus on. I think you will feel better once you meet your precious little babyChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/09 12:37 PM
 

MaMaTeenie
Party of 5

Member since 4/08

6489 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Posted by Annie91606

I understand why you feel the way you do. I do not know yet the gender of this baby, but I know it will be our last and we already have a little boy.

Some of my family and DH's, and even my DOCTOR, are saying, "oh- don't you hope it is a girl"?

I will be a little sad if I don't have a girl, but I already know how wonderful little boys are because of my amazing DS, so that is what I will focus on. I think you will feel better once you meet your precious little babyChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



I am in the same boat. I have a boy and b/c of the 2 miscarriages I had and the things I had to do to have another child this will be it for us. I wanted a girl, but I was actually sad the days after my sono because I feel bad that DS won't have a brother. I have 6 nieces and 1 nephew and most of my good friends have all girls so I feel bad that he is more often than not the only boy.

Posted 12/1/09 12:46 PM
 

katiebug
I'll love you for always

Member since 2/08

4624 total posts

Name:
Katie

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Posted by headoverheels

First of all Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Do NOT let anyone make you feel worse than you already do. Gender disappointment is totally normal. I am SO SICK of people who have told me (or anyone else) that all you should wish for is a healthy baby. Of COURSE you want a healthy baby. Who doesn't? But do you yell at someone who complains about their job to be grateful that they have a job? Or do you tell someone who complains about their husband to just be glad their husband is alive and well?

I promise you, once that baby arrives you and your family will love them like no other. But the feelings that you have now are normal and are not your fault. Chat Icon



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

ITA! It is normal and okay to feel gender disappointment, and it does not make it easier when your family is reacting the way they are.

Don't feel guilty for the feelings you have. It will get easier day by day. After your 20 week, if it is in fact confirmed you are having a boy, maybe go out and buy something new for the baby. It might help you feel better.

But please don't let anyone make you feel bad for having two boys OR for your gender disappointment. No one has the right to tell you how you should or should not feel.

Posted 12/1/09 2:22 PM
 

CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)

Member since 5/05

19978 total posts

Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

I love having a boy. Just wait til you hold the baby in your arms and see them smile for the first time! Babies are a blessing no matter what.

Posted 12/1/09 2:58 PM
 

codybear
Our Family is Complete!

Member since 11/06

2064 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

I totally understand how you are feeling and shame on anyone in your family for making it worse. I'm having a girl, and I always wanted a boy first, so I was definately a little disappointed when I found out our little one was going to be a girl. The feeling passed though and I'm over the moon about her now!

Hang in there, you'll feel better soon I'm sure!

Posted 12/1/09 3:32 PM
 

maybesoon
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

5981 total posts

Name:

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Posted by Lisa982006

Posted by jennarose023

If the comments from your family are bothering you then you should speak up for yourself. IMHO i can't understand how anyone can be disappointed because you are having a boy instead of a girl. Shouldn't you and your family be happy that you are having a healthy baby that will be happy and loved?

Isn't being blessed with the gift of bearing children enough???

I'm sorry please don't take me as being cold or rude, it's my opinion only and all i can say is be happy that your baby is healthy and all the naysayers in your family should take a step back and think before they speak.

Hang in there
Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon




I agree 100%



your post is not rude, it's thoughtless and much of it goes without saying.

what should I do, demand people be happy I am having a boy?? and yes most people should take a step back and think before they speak
Chat Icon Now , I'm sorry if I am being rude but your post didn't help me at all.

Posted 12/1/09 3:35 PM
 

maybesoon
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

5981 total posts

Name:

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

Thanks girls who posted useful advice I am feeling much much better Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/09 3:36 PM
 

maymama
my little loves

Member since 8/08

18453 total posts

Name:

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

also, my sister had a girl 11 weeks ago. My mom has said on more than several occasions, "i hope its a girl for sophie" or "i bet its a girl, i really hope its a girl" or "i dont want a boy because i dont want another J name Chat Icon (we are naming the baby Jack if its a boy)... she didnt realize that what she was saying could upset me... i let it slide. I know that regardless of whether this is a boy or a girl (im convinced its a boy) my family will LOVE this child no matter what. there is an adjustment period when it comes to something other than what you expected or what you prepared yourself for.

think about him being a "mama's boy" nothing better than sweet little boys in dinasour or puppy pjs Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/09 3:44 PM
 

mishka
love my little emmy monster

Member since 8/09

1473 total posts

Name:

Re: Can't shake this sad feeling

lots of hugs for you Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I'm sorry that your family is saying things that don't make u feel better.

but dont worry...its okay to feel disappointed or sad...doesnt mean u wont/dont love baby #2!

Posted 12/1/09 4:00 PM
 
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