Anniversary dinner ruined

I'm sorry this is slightly off-topic but i just need to vent and cry and don't know where else to do it.

Yesterday was my 4 year anniversary and my husband and I went out to dinner tonight to celebrate. He had been so great and supportive with me ever since my miscarriage. He understands how hard this is on me- he gets that I felt a different kind of connection to this baby even if he doesn't fully understand it. That being said- we have both been through tough sh*t this year and tonight was just supposed to be about US- going to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and just enjoying ourselves to elebrate our marriage. D

But he had a really really bad day at work and he felt the need to talk about it the entire 2 1/2 hours we were at dinner. And he let it ruin his whole night. I was looking forward to this dinner all week and I felt like it was ruined. I tried to enjoy myself... I tried to cheer him up, but the conversation just kept going back to his job and how miserable he is. Seriously it's just work- it's not life! It makes me so upset sometimes that he can be this upset about his job but doesn't show the same kind of anger or sadness toward losing our baby.

Like I said he has been amazing with supporting me but that was the first thing I thought about. Yea he's upset we lost the baby but he treats this situation the same way every other person does- saying things like "it's ok we will just try again" but not feeling the pain and grief over the loss of THIS baby the way I do. Anyway- I kept trying to change the topic of conversation, I kept pouring wine from the bottle we got into his glass hoping that alcOhol would brighten his mood. But then I just gave up toward the end. Now I feel miserable. And I feel just as bad that my husband is more upset about his job than he is about this. This was supposed to be a fun and happy night :( now I'm just sad.

Re: Anniversary dinner ruined

I'm sorry you feel this way and that you're so upset... but everyone deals with things differently. Just because he was very upset about his job during dinner doesn't mean he's not just as upset about the pregnancy loss. Everyone has their own way of dealing with things and expressing themselves. Maybe this is something you should speak to him about.

On a side note, happy anniversary!

Re: Anniversary dinner ruined

Sorry :huggy

Anniversary dinner ruined

I think a lot of DHs are like this partially I think bc we get so emotional and upset over it that they need to be the stronger half. I know in most situations I'm usually the calm and rational one but with this stuff we've reversed roles. Your DH probably just needed to vent about his job and was upset at that moment. i would speak to him if it's bothering you but everyone has their own ways of dealing with different situations.

Anniversary dinner ruined

Thanks everyone. I was actually a little tipsy when I wrote this last night!! Too much wine! But i was kind of upset. My husband just gets in these pissed off moods and I really can't stand when he's like that- he's so high strung and i am usually the calm and laid back one! We are the meaning of opposites attract! I just hate when I can't get him out of his pissy mood- and last night was supposed to be our fun night. I just kept drinking and after a while I just had enough of his complaining and ******** all night! then this morning everything was fine.