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Those who have had losses....
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Posted by newmomma
the sad fact is we lost our innocence. there will ALWAYS be that doubt, atleast I think so.
you dont know what you have until its gone... and in this case, most pregnant women dont know how lucky they are to never have a loss because it never crosses their mind.
a few thoughts have helped but honestly it fear hasnt subsided...
1) you CAN, HAVE, and DID, get pg. thats a great thing.
2)each pg has risks, but at this point, you are on the good side of those risk. as hard as it is to admit, your past doesnt affect this time...physically speaking. you are today, in the same boat as someone who never had a loss and is a pig in $hit with no concerns.
the other thing is this... you are so set on having a baby. you cant wait, but in fact, being pregnant is an experience too. you dont want to miss the first steps, and first words, so dont allow yourself to miss the feelings of being pregnant. the joy, the sickness, the nerves, the creative juices, etc.
getting married as great, but i wanted to enjoy the engagement too... i look at this is the same light... or atleast try too.
i hope this made sense
Thank you, this was extremely helpful  I agree with all these things. I told myself similar things too that had this been my first pregnancy I wouldn't worry at all (and believe me, in my first pregnancy, I didn't worry about anything!)
I'm entitled to enjoy this pregnancy and I totally plan on it! ............. maybe after my next sono 
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Posted 1/8/13 1:53 PM  |
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stargazerlily
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/11 706 total posts
Name:
Lara
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Those who have had losses....
I hope you don't mind me answering, but I just wanted to share something that has eased my mind through pregnancy so far. I chose hypnobabies as my childbirth prep method (which I HIGHLY recommend btw) and one the of the CDs I got was positive pregnancy affirmations. It's 30 minutes of hearing that everything is normal and will work out fine. I listen to it every day on the way home from work and I love it. It has made me relax in spite of myself. I think you can order individual CDs on their website. Just wanted to share.
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:18 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Posted by stargazerlily
I hope you don't mind me answering, but I just wanted to share something that has eased my mind through pregnancy so far. I chose hypnobabies as my childbirth prep method (which I HIGHLY recommend btw) and one the of the CDs I got was positive pregnancy affirmations. It's 30 minutes of hearing that everything is normal and will work out fine. I listen to it every day on the way home from work and I love it. It has made me relax in spite of myself. I think you can order individual CDs on their website. Just wanted to share.
This sounds interesting, thank you!! Is there anywhere online I could listen to a sample?
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| Posted 1/8/13 9:27 PM |
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stargazerlily
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/11 706 total posts
Name:
Lara
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Those who have had losses....
I found the "relax me" track for free online.....but it's just a sample and it's not pregnancy related (at least I don't remember that it was). It was nice to listen to though and very relaxing
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| Posted 1/9/13 5:26 PM |
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NikS819
LIF Infant
Member since 4/09 140 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those who have had losses....
As everyone has said here so far, it is so hard to be carefree about pregnancy after a loss. Every time I go to the bathroom, I am scanning my underwear for the slightest trace of spotting. I hate that I do it, but can't help myself. And it is so true about the "safe points." I found as each week went on and things progressed, I got a little better. Then once I hit past the point of loss, a little better still. With my DS, I was able to really enjoy and feel it was "real" after the 20 week Level 2 sono. But in all honesty I still held on to a little bit of fear until I heard that cry when he was born. This time around I think I am even more anxious. I had two losses before the birth of my DS, and then three more in the past year prior to this pregnancy. I am now 9 wks, 4 days, and still held my breath for the first 3 seconds of today's sono until I heard that heartbeat. The additional losses, and the fact that I am now 40, has given me a whole new bag of worries.
What I have found as the blessing in all this trauma we've endured, the silver lining, is that, when that baby is here, you will experience a love like no other, and you will have a bond and appreciation of that child that I honestly feel that those that have not gone through what we have just won't know. I am not saying that those who have not experienced loss don't love and appreciate their kids, but we are on a whole other level. I see it in the way that my friends that had it "easy" relate to their kids and complain about them, especially when they were babies, wishing for them to get out of this phase and that. Sometimes, I would want to smack them for being so blind, but I mostly sat back and smiled and felt a little sad that they were missing what it's all about. We are able to appreciate EVERY moment, even the challenging ones. And that is the gift we get. I pray that you, as well as everyone here, gets to receive that gift. Love to all of you.
Message edited 1/17/2013 12:04:29 AM.
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| Posted 1/16/13 11:47 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Those who have had losses....
Posted by NikS819
As everyone has said here so far, it is so hard to be carefree about pregnancy after a loss. Every time I go to the bathroom, I am scanning my underwear for the slightest trace of spotting. I hate that I do it, but can't help myself. And it is so true about the "safe points." I found as each week went on and things progressed, I got a little better. Then once I hit past the point of loss, a little better still. With my DS, I was able to really enjoy and feel it was "real" after the 20 week Level 2 sono. But in all honesty I still held on to a little bit of fear until I heard that cry when he was born. This time around I think I am even more anxious. I had two losses before the birth of my DS, and then three more in the past year prior to this pregnancy. I am now 9 wks, 4 days, and still held my breath for the first 3 seconds of today's sono until I heard that heartbeat. The additional losses, and the fact that I am now 40, has given me a whole new bag of worries.
What I have found as the blessing in all this trauma we've endured, the silver lining, is that, when that baby is here, you will experience a love like no other, and you will have a bond and appreciation of that child that I honestly feel that those that have not gone through what we have just won't know. I am not saying that those who have not experienced loss don't love and appreciate their kids, but we are on a whole other level. I see it in the way that my friends that had it "easy" relate to their kids and complain about them, especially when they were babies, wishing for them to get out of this phase and that. Sometimes, I would want to smack them for being so blind, but I mostly sat back and smiled and felt a little sad that they were missing what it's all about. We are able to appreciate EVERY moment, even the challenging ones. And that is the gift we get. I pray that you, as well as everyone here, gets to receive that gift. Love to all of you.
Thank you for this I also totally agree with what you said about having a level of appreciation we wouldn't otherwise. When I got pregnant the first time, of course I was grateful and THRILLED.. but it's different now. The 7 babies down.. the years down to get here .. In my first pregnancy I didn't understand what it was like to have something so miraculous be taken away so suddenly. you really grow to appreciate what a miracle every day is that you can go to bed and say "yes, I am still pregnant and to the best of my knowledge, my baby is doing GREAT" 
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| Posted 1/17/13 1:42 PM |
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| Pages: 1 [2] |
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