Societal Question

I don't know about you, but I find it so odd that MCs aren't talked about more often. It seems to me that every woman I know who is trying or has kids has had at least 1 MC. Why isn't this a more common topic???? I know for myself, talking about it with everyone and anyone (practically) has helped so much and I also know that once I say something all those who have had it have come out of the woodwork. Hearing their stories is absolutely helping me, and I can see in their faces that hearing mine has helped them. Why is it such a taboo thing to talk about? I'm not saying every woman should talk about it - of course if you are a very private person or just don't want to, you don't have to... I'm referring to the societal taboo of the topic... I just don't get it.

Re: Societal Question

Its a tough subject, and some people just find it hard to talk about it

I spoke w family, posted a few posts, went on a cruise and moved on

but YES its very common

Societal Question

I just know that, and it's still very fresh for me, that when it started I was at a total loss - I knew of only 1 other girl that had ever had one ... until I came on here. It just seems like it's this subject you CAN'T talk about. I totally agree, there are some people that just don't want to talk about it - and for every person it's going to be a totally different experience...

I don't know, it was just an observation... it's nice to know you're not alone when something like that happens.

Re: Societal Question

I think it depends on the circumstances. I had several losses. I will openly discuss it if someone wants to know .. .but I won't just go around talking about it randomly because it's just such a hurtful topic. I think it all has to do with where people are in the process and how they choose to deal with it. For me, while going through my losses I talked about it a lot more than I do now. There's just so much my heart can handle. I will never forget any of my lost babies, but I will also not allow it to consume my life and make it a part of my day to day convos - again, unless someone wants to know.

eta - I never felt like infertility OR losses was a subject I couldn't talk about. I'm sorry you are having that experience. I have always been open about my journey and never felt like it made people uncomfortable. I think depending on who your audience is, you just have to expect that they may not have much to say if they can't relate- or may say something REALLY stupid.

Message edited 5/16/2013 9:58:56 PM.

Re: Societal Question

after our first,and everyone knew i was tired of talking about it..i ws upset

so the next 2 times we got pregnant we did not tell anyone bc we were afraid,and we lost both of them

people still do not know

it was just what we rather..i do not mind talking on a IF board but to explain over again what happened was something i did not want to do with friends and fam

Re: Societal Question

I agree with the rest of the ladies it's a hard thing to talk about. It's not just one of things that come up in conversation. When I was pregnant the first time I told my parents and brothers, a few weeks later we lost the babies (twins). This time around we didn't tell anyone, I miscarried last month. God willing it happens again we wouldn't be telling either. The past experiences just kind of taints our happiness.

I've found that if does come up and I feel comfortable with the people then I'll talk about. it.

Re: Societal Question

I have had three losses. Each of them hurt really bad and two years later I still cry. Its very hard to speak about them in real life to anyone as I always end up crying. No one asks how I am doing anymore..no one. I honestly think that people dont know what to say so they say nothing...they dont understand unless they have gone through and mostly they think you have gotten over it. A MC is not really tangible to most people...they didn't meet the baby so they have not formed the connection with that baby like you have so they dont know the deep pain.

I wish it was easier...sometimes when I am having a coffee with a friend I will be willing her to just ask my how I am doing but she never does and I dont want to bring it up as its awkward.

Its a very lonely journey and I feel and ache for all of you on here who have taken that walk