chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Cancelled plans & disappointment - Small update
My cousin's son and my step son are about the same age (teenagers) and get along really well. They love spending time together. We live about 45mins to an hour apart so it's not always easy but I try to make plans for the boys to get together whenever possible. However, my cousin's son is a serious athlete that involves a huge time commitment, lessons, travel, etc. and so they often have "unxpected" issues with tournaments or practices, etc, so they cancel, a LOT. (they were also supposed to come to a BBQ at our house last summer and never showed. I invited them for Christmas this past year and they never even responded - nothing to do with sports  . They did come to Christmas the year before). So, every time we make plans, I tell my SS, he gets excited and is then disappointed when we get a last minute cancellation (we got cancelled on this past Sat at 11:30 for 2:00 plans).
I know my SS really has a great time with my cousin's son and vice vesa, but I don't want to put my SS through anymore disappointment. How would you handle this? Would you continue to try to get together? (If I don't reach out to make the plans, it will never happen - I'm ok with that, but not with all the cancellations). Make plans but don't mention it to SS until right before (but then he may have something else he wants to do, like hang out with local friends); stop making plans all together?Any advice is greatly appreciated
ETA: DH is also tired of his son being disappointed and said he doesn't want to make any more plans with them. I think he just said it out of frustration and would be OK if the plans actually happened, next time. But he is pretty pi$$od off about it right now.
Update: So after cancelling our last plans, my cousin suggested getting together tonight. I knew we didn't have any plans, so without telling my SS, I said that sounded good. She said she definitely would not have to cancel. I touched base with her on Wed - sent a text asking if tonight was still good and if so, what time. Never heard back from her. Just makes me sad because I know the boys have fun and I was really looking forward to seeing them too. 
Message edited 4/11/2014 12:23:05 PM.
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cancelled plans & disappointment
I think you should give up making most plans with them. Unfortunately for you they have other priorities. It sucks but that is the way life goes sometimes.
I'm sorry you have to go through this with your SS. And I do hope they realize their loss and arrange plans with you.
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