Otoplasty (ear pinning surgery)

DD is almost 10. Her ears have protruded since infancy. When she went to an ENT for her tonsils, he said that they were "Cup Ears" and that one was also "lop eared". That means that they both stick out from the sides of her head like the handles on a cup, and that the top part of one is not fully formed and leans forward (like a rabbit ear).

This can all be resolved with a short cosmetic procedure in the hospital. Her hearing is perfect, so it would be purely for aesthetics.

She has never noticed her ears and has not been teased. My question is, would you take care of this now while she is young, or wait to see of it is something she is teased or feels self conscious about when she is older?

Part of me wants to do it know and give her every possible advantage. She has braces, which is for cosmetic reasons.

What are your thoughts?

Re: Otoplasty (ear pinning surgery)

My grandmother used to make fun of me for my ears because they slightly stuck out and were big when I was a child. No one else noticed or cared and they really were not that obvious or that bad. But her harassment of me made me self conscious of my ears. I did not get the surgery, but did look into it. The doctor said that I would grow into my ears. I grew into my ears and now that I am an adult they are perfectly fine and actually small. So if no one is noticing them, and they don't bother her, I would let it go unless she wants to do something about them. I would not make her self conscious about them.

Re: Otoplasty (ear pinning surgery)

I would wait for her to want the surgery, for something to warrant it such as teasing, self consciousness etc.

Re: Otoplasty (ear pinning surgery)

While I can see your concern to want to protect her, I would wait until she mentions it. If kids ever mention it, maybe she will surprise you with a strong sense of self and handle it like a champ. Id give her that chance first and if it bothers her, then address the issue.

Re: Otoplasty (ear pinning surgery)

I would wait until she says something. I would never put my kid under anestesia for something that may not be a problem for her.

Otoplasty (ear pinning surgery)

I would wait for her to mention it. If it doesn't bother her and no one is teasing her I wouldn't even want to draw attention to them.

Otoplasty (ear pinning surgery)

I'd wait or not at all

Teasing will happen with or without the surgery. It is just the way it is. As a kid who was tormented for being different, I learned it gave me power. Even tho I could not surgically fix my eye colors, it was easily to mask with sunglasses (and later contacts - which I've never done). The evil kids who teased me however opened themselves up to allowing me to tease them back. (yeah not ideal in this culture) My eyes are different, so what? You look like a pig. Etc.

My eyes leveled the playing field but also taught me to respect and be kinder to those with differences. I learned quickly that what a person looked like meant little to nothing about the person. That kid with no hand threw better than me and the kid in the wheelchair was faster in science that I was. I never teased or bullied others because I knew what it was like. And I never participated in the bullying of others or stood idly by. BUT if I was bullied or my friends were I was there ready to hand it back. My favorite was "I can close my eyes and be normal, even if you shut your mouth you'd still be an Arse!"

ah memories!

Oh and a side note, those of us with 'differences' do actually ban together. I've seen all sorts of things and ears are the LEAST exciting or stand out items. 6th toe, third nipple, tail, half ears, I've seen lots. And we all sorta carry them with pride. Its like we can be comfortable around each other (sometimes WAY to comfy - the things I've seen).

big ears? nah. Not really that big of a deal. But if she becomes subconscious about it later and she really wants it done (and if she were mine) then I'd do it then. But for now I'd not bring much attention to it.