Will this OCD ever get better?

My DS is 21 months and labeled Autism 1. He's extremely high functioning, doing well with his ABA, and speech delayed (not nonverbal). His receptive language is excellent.

He does not have the OCD label but he definitely has ocd tendencies. His therapist has seen them, and so far if we break them, he does not have a meltdown/tantrum over it (mostly things like touching his baby doll in the same order repeatedly, toy food having to look a certain way, etc).

Except balls.

It's to the point where Im dreading going anywhere with him because if someone else brings a ball, he NEEDS it.

It's not a spoiled thing. I don't let him swipe balls from other children and if he manages to do it, I make him give it right back (through the tears). It's an obsession. I don't know how he finds them half the time. We were at the beach and everything was great and he managed to spot one I swear 50 yards away beneath a towel under a chair.

His main therapist tells me that it will get better over time and he's intelligent enough that he'll eventually understand he can't have all the balls. But for right now, I'm getting gray over it. I've started packing balls in my bag and avoiding places I know they will be (like open gym at gymboree).

I felt so bad at the park this morning because we had to leave our playdate early over freakin' balls. It was like all these moms were looking at me like I had that spoiled kid, and I know I have to just let that roll off my shoulders, but it hurts sometimes, you know?

I just want to know if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Re: Will this OCD ever get better?

Hi, while my son has different issues I can totally relate to feeling the hurt, stress and so many other emotions that it can be overwhelming. While this doesn't really answer your question, I wanted to share that I find it helpful to see a therapist for me to talk about how I feel so I can keep it together and be the best Mom I can be for my son. Sending hugs your way!

Re: Will this OCD ever get better?

DS has similar meltdowns and I totally understand you're feelings in that realm.

I avoid a lot of places or will only go if DH joins me because it's a lot to deal with alone.

It's also embarrassing around other parents who have angelic children.

There are some days that are better than others and where DS will surprise me.

Re: Will this OCD ever get better?

I had a child with a similar obsession with stars and letters......the child is now on the preschool level and the family is working with a psychologist, they are seeing improvement in this area.....GL

Will this OCD ever get better?

Thank you everyone for the responses.

Sunday we only had a minor meltdown over a wiffle ball so I'm counting that as a win in our book.

We will keep working on it, hoping that every day is just a little bit better.

Re: Will this OCD ever get better?

I know exactly how you feel, I feel like other moms are staring at me when I am dragging my DS away as he is screaming and crying when I am taking him away from something (but for other reasons- like my DS obsession is anything that opens and closes like doors, cabinets, etc). It would actually be nice to have playdates with other moms of special needs children so they understand exactly what I am going through and not judge.

Re: Will this OCD ever get better?

Posted by JDubs

I know exactly how you feel, I feel like other moms are staring at me when I am dragging my DS away as he is screaming and crying when I am taking him away from something (but for other reasons- like my DS obsession is anything that opens and closes like doors, cabinets, etc). It would actually be nice to have playdates with other moms of special needs children so they understand exactly what I am going through and not judge.

Will this OCD ever get better?

DD had severe OCD when she was younger....from 2.5 to about 4.5. Hers had to do with counting. The worst was one day she was counting the stairs going up to our second floor and kept getting the number wrong, she kept going up and down, counting and counting again. It was literally terrifying to watch. I couldn't stop her and had to eventually rip off a closet door downstairs and block the stairwell.

Playdates were very painful and I actually gravitated to only doing playdates with special needs children. It was just easier because the other moms got it and didn't bat an eyelash when she handing out only 4 crayons to the kids, couldn't be 5 or 3 just 4. We were actually able to laugh at it a little because every kid had "something". My advice is to get friendly with the parents at your children's preschool/program, look into social skills groups in your area - NY Therapy in Suffolk has a good one. NSASA is a good group to join as they host alot of events.

DD's OCD has decreased dramatically as her language improved. She still has her little OCD quirks but nothing as dramatic as before and can be managed now. Last year (1st grade) she started going to typical peers bday parties and did great. I on the other hand were a nervous wreck lol.

Re: Will this OCD ever get better?

Posted by starlitdragon

Posted by JDubs

I know exactly how you feel, I feel like other moms are staring at me when I am dragging my DS away as he is screaming and crying when I am taking him away from something (but for other reasons- like my DS obsession is anything that opens and closes like doors, cabinets, etc). It would actually be nice to have playdates with other moms of special needs children so they understand exactly what I am going through and not judge.

This, exactly!

How many mom's looked at me like I was setting him up for torture because I would not let him hijack another child's ball. I turned to my friend and actually said that sometimes I want to scream at them that he has issues and to keep their judging eyes to themselves. That I'm doing my best to make THEIR playground experience better by sacrificing my own. It would be easy for me to just let him take every ball he saw, but I don't, for reasons he'll thank me for in a couple more years.

I get nervous taking him on playdates with children (more so moms) that do not have, or understand special needs. They say hurtful things, even if it's unintentional.

I wish there was a special needs playgroup. Maybe we should make one!

Re: Will this OCD ever get better?

I'd be up for meeting up every once in awhile.

I work FT though so that makes it harder and a lot of our weekends are spent running around.

I'm about a 10 minute walk though from Tanner Park though, and pretty soon summer will be over and we can park there for free.

Re: Will this OCD ever get better?

Will this OCD ever get better?

I would be open to a meetup as well, but I also work FT. Maybe one weekend morning for an hour or so when everyone has time.

Re: Will this OCD ever get better?

I am thinking of starting a group on meetup.com, for moms of LO's with special needs, for friendships, playdates and occasional moms night out, since I did not see a LI one... would anyone be interested? I would just need help organizing the events. The only thing I can think of is meeting up at a park (as long as the weather is nice!) I am in in southeastern nassau.

Re: Will this OCD ever get better?

Maybe this should be made into it's own topic so more people can see it? You already know I'm in!