How would you feel about this?

Hi, I have a coworker who I have known for quite some time. We travel in together for work. At one time, we were very close friends too. Then I had IVF. In fact, when I had ivf, she had it after me and tried to use donor sperm. She was so secretive about it. I miscarried and she was not real supportive at all. In fact, it seemed as if she was jealous when my procedure at first worked. She even started going to each dr. I went to. She copied everything. She got pregnant and miscarried. For about a year neither of us got pregnant. Now she gets pregnant by a boyfriend. She does not say anything at first. Yet, I noticed that she was acting differently. She has always lied about things in the past. I notice that she is evasive about things. When she thought I was pregnant last year, she came right out and asked me. This time I asked her. She said she was but it was so early n she is nervous. That's understandable. Yet, she told another coworker before me. They are not even close. The other girl does not even like her. I feel hurt. We see each other every day. She claimed she told the other person because she is a bad liar. That's for sure. She is known at work to lie all the time. I do admit I am envious as well. I just do not like how she was lying to me about things like why she stopped drinking coffee or not dying her hair, I feel uncomfortable traveling to work with her now. I felt that I was the closest to her at work than the others. I know it sounds childish, but I don't want to go in with her to work anymore. I am very sad for myself. I am done with fertility treatments. Whenever someone was pregnant at work, she would say the most mean and hateful things about them. I could never be like that. Yet, she is the one pregnant and I am not. I have wanted to break away from her for awhile now. If I do it now, I feel like it would look to her as if I am jealous. I don't want her to know I am jealous. I have been tired of her for awhile as well. Her being pregnant is not the only reason I don't want to travel in with her. I feel like it will make me look bad at work. What advice do you have?

How would you feel about this?

No advice but I know where you're coming from. For some reason I tend to distance myself from those that are pregnant - it's not that I'm not happy for them it's just that I'm so sad for myself. I'm sorry you're going through this but you're not alone in your feelings.

How would you feel about this?

I think she knows she is a liar and therefore tried to cover herself. I had a group of friends where this situation kind of played out and I decided I did not want to be "friendly" with them anymore as in eat lunch and go out together. I still say hi but that is it.

I don't care that some of them probably thought it was because one of them got pregnant when they knew I struggled. It was only one factor. Honestly, I didn't like the way they handled telling me or how they spoke about others.

Now...I am much better off with new friends!

Re: How would you feel about this?

I could understand wanting to stay away from anyone pregnant.

I could also understand if she wanted to avoid telling you (though it would be inevitable that you'd find out), knowing that you suffered through IF.

She should be able to understand if you can't be around her right now. To tell her it's because of her pregnancy is probably the best thing, IMO.