Denied by Support Group... I really needed this (existing child mentioned)

Posted By

Message

Pages: 1 [2]

amac27
LIF Toddler

Member since 8/09

471 total posts

Name:
A

Re: Denied by Support Group... I really needed this (existing child mentioned)

Posted by lululu

Posted by bookworm
However (BIG however) as someone who actually belonged to a primary infertility support group, that mixing is not really appropriate. For the girls in my group, they were staring down the "will I ever be a mother fear" - heartbreaking, terrifying, and they were so thin-skinned that any secondary infertility patient's legitimate disclosure of how it feels to fail at giving her child a sibling would have totally triggered them and sent them off the deep end.

I think you hit the nail on the head right here.

I couldn't agree more. I was a previous member of the exact support group the OP is talking about and, though I know it stinks, I can see why Bina, the group facilitator, didn't think it was appropriate. There were/ are several girls in the group who are so close to just losing it that ANYTHING can lead to a complete meltdown. The "will I ever have a child" fear is real and feelings of jealousy and resentment are par for the course. Someone who is suffering from secondary infertility would most definitely not feel comfortable in that particular group.

Posted 3/30/15 5:48 PM

Forum Mail Edit Post Print Quote Reply

Long Island Weddings

Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource

trebambini
LIF Infant

Member since 6/11

103 total posts

Name:
J

Re: Denied by Support Group... I really needed this (existing child mentioned)

I know there have been a lot of responses to this thread but I just want to throw in my 2 cents.

I know you are feeling like you were rejected by the infertility support group but I would like to say, as a person who suffered through years infertility and miscarriages to have both my first child and then again for my second, there are subtle differences between the two experiences that require different kinds of support. I think it would be very difficult to have a support group that can meet the needs and be appropriate for members experiencing both primary and secondary infertility together. I hope that you may be able to look at it as a redirection rather than a rejection.

I think that if you continue to look you will find a support group - there are certainly many people out there that are trying to conceive a second child and having difficulty this time around. I believe someone mentioned Resolve, which I found very helpful as a resource, and I would also recommend the social work staff at your doctor's office.

I know that it is a very painful process, I remember it very clearly and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Having a support group is such an asset and I hope you are able to find one that is helpful.

Best of luck to you and I hope that your journey will come to a positive outcome very soon.

Posted 3/30/15 7:26 PM

Forum Mail Edit Post Print Quote Reply

Pages: 1 [2]