Tweens moms

What age for:

Fake nails from salon
Light makeup like mascara
Crop tops
Short shorts

DD is driving me absolutely nuts. She just turned 12. She is extremely persistent with her wants. She claims "all" her friends at camp wear makeup, crop tops and short shorts and have fake nails. These are the girls she wants to fit in with. I was sympathetic and told her I know what it's like to want to fit in. I also told her that it's good to have class and dress modestly! Idk these girls at all or their parents.

I didn't mind letting her dye her hair tips last year. She used her own money for fake nails from CVS and I only said yes cause I knew they would fall off lol. I also let her shave.

Admittedly I remember being about 12-13 and going with friends to get acrylics at the salon. I don't know where I got the money from.

Am I being to strict? Are there that many lenient parents out there? I keep saying if I say yes to everything now what's left? But I admit it's tough to say no to a very persistent kid. Are there bigger problems to worry about?

Message edited 7/9/2015 11:15:28 AM.

Re: Tweens moms

I'm not there yet, my DD is only 6, but I dread those years. I feel like girls are trying so hard to look older and grow up faster, I wish they would just enjoy being 11, 12, 13 and NOT wishing to look like they are someone who is 19-20 yrs old.

I honestly wouldn't feel comfortable with my 12 yr old DD wearing short shorts and crop tops. That may be what *some* girls are doing but as long as I buy her clothes and she lives in my house there will have to be some boundaries, I just hate when little girls look like a 20 yr old..........it looks a little trashy (for lack of a better word) to me.

I wasn't allowed to wear ANY make-up other than lipgloss until I was 13 and no way my mom would let me get fake nails at that age OR wear revealing clothes. There will be plenty of time for all of that and I *personally* think it's a bit much for a young girl at only age 12. I know it's a hard battle to fight but I would try hard to be strong and stick to your guns.

Tweens moms

My daughter got her first set of acrylics in 8th grade, so 14. She has a steady weekly babysitting job, and I told her if she paid for the fill-ins, she could get them. She did it for about a year, then decided to get them taken off "for the summer" and never got them back on.

Crop tops I allowed at 13/14. I am lucky that short shorts aren't allowed at school (they have to be fingertip length at least), so she does have some, but can't wear them that often. Makeup started at 13, but she watches a lot of tutorials on youtube and know that less is more, so shes pretty good with it.

She even went to *gasp* a teen club at 14, but didn't really like it so never went again. It's hard watching them grow up, but so long as they don't go overboard I think you have to give in a little. If you don't, she'll be applying trashy makeup on the school bus and hiding it from you.

Re: Tweens moms

I don't remember what age my dd was but a little at a time is ok, IMO.
Maybe just a little makeup, not like a dance recital.
Crop top that touches the top of the shorts and shorts that are long enough to not see their ass cheeks but short enough to be in style.

Message edited 7/9/2015 4:16:15 PM.

Re: Tweens moms

I know what you're going through. My DD is only 9 but is asking for the same things already! I too am having a hard time staying strong. But I keep reiterating what I feel is unacceptable. I do let her have the press on nails from the pharmacy as well. She takes my make up and puts on lipstick when I'm not looking. She knows I disapprove, but she always says that she's using a light color. I do NOT let her wear it to school. Shorts, as long as she's not hanging out, and definately not to school. Crop tops, NO!
I don't know what I'm going to do when she is 12-13.

Re: Tweens moms

I would pick your battles and say something like I know what it is like to want to fit in, but is this the look you want others to think about you. As long as no butt cheeks are showing when you bend down I would be ok. So finger tip length. I would say ten for fake nails, but not all the time, only during the summer. I am a no to the crop top with short shorts. I would be ok with make up at 11. Lipgloss, mascara, blush are fine.

Re: Tweens moms

My daughter just turned 9 and I can see that this stuff is in my near future. I think some of the moms of the girls in her grade are allowing this stuff already and that's what makes my battle so hard. I don't agree with any of it at this age but when they are all allowing it, it gets tough. She does wear short shorts,but nothing is hanging out. No crop tops, unless she is going to dance class or the beach. I allow lipgloss sometimes. I am not thinking of nails from the salon until middle school, maybe 13? Ugh....I am sweating just thinking of all of this..... I know shaving will come up early on too because she has dark hair and a lot on her legs already.

Re: Tweens moms

My DD is 10.5 now and some of these issues have come up already. It is hard to say how much more I will allow by 12/13

Right now she does wear short shorts, nothing hanging out though. Honestly they are not lying, 90% of the girls are wearing them. NO crop tops for her, and hasn't asked for more then standard mani/pedis yet. She wears lip gloss and on special occasions wears eye-shadow and mascara.

Tweens moms

DD is only 8 but asks for all these things all time lol. For the nails, I see no need for them at all and until she has a job she will not be getting them. I'll gladly take her for manicures but no reason for fake nails. She can learn to grow her own if she wants.

As far as the clothes, its all a trend and hopefully they will not be in style when she gets older, but I would have no problem with it as long as it was tasteful and she did not look like a hootchie. I remember being 12 and wearing mini skirts and crop tops. For make up, I think lip gloss is appropriate but i think that I would cave on that if she was in middle school and everyone else was wearing it.

Re: Tweens moms

I was probably 13 when I started doing most those things. My mom was very laid back but I also got good grades and worked on the weekends and two days a week after school.

I wouldn't like the crop tops and short shorts for my DD's at that age ( honestly the regular shorts out there are short enough!) but the rest I have no problem with.

My friend has a just turned 12 year old DD. She told her DD that if she made the principals list this year she could get her cartilage pierced ( she had been begging for over a year) Well the DD made it and just got it pierced. I could see myself doing the same thing.

Re: Tweens moms

Nm

Message edited 7/14/2015 2:18:43 PM.