The "cool" crowd - 2nd grade - question

So my son is in 2nd grade. Although he has an early birthday and is on the older side for 2nd grade, he's the oldest child in our family and he's a boy so he is on the immature side when it comes to a lot of things. A good friend of his has always been very far "ahead" of him when it comes to certain topics (mostly social situations and some of them are very age inappropriate - e.g. talking about girls in bikini's, etc). Yesterday we were in the car and the other little boy brought up the kids who are in the "cool crowd" at school and how he wants to be friends with certain people in the cool crowd and things of that nature. This really took me by surprise because I have never heard another 7 or 8 year old talk about who is "cool" and "popular" (he actually used both terms when describing a certain group of boys). I actually asked them what it meant and it was clear that, although my son had heard the terms (presumably from this boy) he didn't really understand what it meant. I found it so odd and so sad that a second grader is already concerned with hanging out with people who are cool and popular. I don't think I would have been as surprised if it were girls speaking like this, but I really didn't think boys would care about these things until maybe 5th grade or so. Has anyone else had this experience? Am I completely out of touch in thinking that a second grader talking like this is odd? He does have an older brother in 4th grade so perhaps he hears this talk from him and his friends. Just curious to know what others' take is on this.

The

Definitely not odd. Last year my DD was in 2nd and there were a bunch of girls who called themselves the "crew" and walked around the playground together. This year it seems they have all broken into groups. DD is always talking about "her" group and other "groups". I try to instill in her to be friends with all and to be part of all groups but the school peer pressures are more strong than me reminding her that. It's sad it starts so early.

Re: The "cool" crowd - 2nd grade - question

Interesting to see this posted because I just started noticing this as well. I have an 8 yr old who is in 3rd grade. I was doing lunch duty recently and heard one boy refer to another as a loser (not to his face) - but, in the way you are describing - as in, he wasn't one of the cool kids. I'm in the school a lot and have been since Kindergarten and what bothered me the most is that he was spot on with his description of this kid from an adult perspective of the term. Since mid-second grade I see a division on the playground of the boys - the sports kids hang with the sports kids, some kids play tag, and then there are a few that just wander. It makes me very sad to see this. My DS is like yours and even though I can see that he is in the "cool" group he is totally not aware at all. I questioned him about what the boy said and he thought it was a different connotation than it was. I feel so bad that this is starting already, it breaks my heart. It also makes me worried for what it will be like for my DD. She is in K now and I don't see any of this yet.

Message edited 4/19/2016 5:25:35 PM.

The

I think this is sadly normal for second grade. My DD is in 3rd grade and friends with boys and girls. I have heard of the 'cool' 'popular' 'smart' 'sporty' groups from both sides.

Re: The "cool" crowd - 2nd grade - question

My son is in 3rd grade and has definitely mentioned the "popular crowd"

The

I think it's all the shows they watch. All these young kid shows always seem to have cool and nerdy characters and they label children. Then kids mimic it in school.

Re: The "cool" crowd - 2nd grade - question

My oldest is in 3rd grade and I've never heard her or her friends talk this way. Everyone has their little friend groups on the play ground and I do hear a lot about someone not letting someone else play with them, or kids (girls) saying everyone has to wear pink to play with them, so the makings are there but my daughter has never suggested that one group of kids are considered better/cooler than another and I'm at school a lot and we have different kids over a lot. It's all sad to me.

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My DS is a little older, he's 9 and in 4th grade. He is very socially aware and a little advanced in that he already likes girls and what not. But he doesn't talk inappropriately about girls and I have never heard him talk about "cool" kids or call anyone a "loser". But I do notice the kids falling more into groups as they get older. From what I see, it's not a matter of leaving anyone out, it's just the kids with similar interests tend to stick together. It's clear that my DS gravitates towards the athletic kids. He loves to play or even watch sports. When he has playdates the kids are usually outside all day long.

Re: The "cool" crowd - 2nd grade - question

Yeah, I guess I feel like I knew that they were already forming into groups with similar likes/dislikes but to have the awareness of what is cool or not cool seemed so young to me. To not want to associate with someone because the perception that they were not cool, and to want to be liked by others because they are cool… that just seemed to me to be something that would happen a lot later than 2nd grade. It really still strikes me as odd. At this age I feel like you should only be seeking out friends based on who you enjoy spending time with and not worrying about if it will make you look cool or uncool. I'm just so disheartened if this is the reality for second graders nowadays, and I can't help but feel like it comes from above, be it older siblings or parents.

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According to my kid, second grade is "the year kids became mean". It is a WHOLE different ballgame these days. I hate that they lose the innocence so young. :(

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The kids seem to be very nice but I swear I think some parents are trying to create a cool crowd around themselves and their kids. It's a shame, really.

Re: The "cool" crowd - 2nd grade - question

I personally think it is young for boys (girls no - lol). I have two boys 5th and 3rd and didn't hear much like that young. Maybe here and there things about the athletic boys but not the cool or popular ones. I saw it start around 4th grade and even more so now in 5th. My 3rd grader doesn't say much about it at all but then again he is oblivious to cliques and does his own thing. I have heard his name mentioned more by parents that he is in the popular kid group but I think it is because he is athletic and often gravitates towards kids who do play sports. But his year is very competitive as far as parents and it is more parents worried about their kids being left out than kids. I know my son plays and has many friends in many different groups and while I see it as groups = = he doesn't see the groups.

Message edited 5/17/2016 6:13:53 AM.

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Message edited 5/17/2016 8:59:29 AM.

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Re: The "cool" crowd - 2nd grade - question

Posted by BargainMama

Posted by KarenK122

Posted by Diane

Posted by Kerie-is-so-very

The kids seem to be very nice but I swear I think some parents are trying to create a cool crowd around themselves and their kids. It's a shame, really.

exactly!!!!!!

Yes this is it exactly!! I can't tell you how many times a child asked to have a playdate with my daughter and the parents basically saying "ummm no" because they don't want their child being associated with a special needs girl. It all starts at home. Very sad.

This makes me sad

My son, as you know, has special needs. His only friends in school are the children that also have special needs. I guess there is that saying, that you really only need a couple of good friends in life. It just makes me sad that typical kids can be so exclusionary. This past weekend was the Jr. Prom, and my son had so much fun he said (he went with 3 other kids...that also happen to have special needs), but I couldn't help to feel a little sad for them all since there really is no interaction with the typical kids. Even looking at the hundreds upon hundreds of prom photos on the photographer's website, and none of our kids having a great time interacting with the rest of the kids...really made me sad. But, fortunately for my son he is pretty oblivious, and they seem to be content with each other Sorry for my ramble!

Re: The "cool" crowd - 2nd grade - question

My son is 7 and in first. He has talked about the cool kids already. I was taken aback. But, apparently it's a thing.

Re: The "cool" crowd - 2nd grade - question

My DD is 7 and in 2nd grade and I can honestly say she never mentions anything about "cool kids" or kids leaving anyone out. She's had a really nice group of kids (for the most part) across her grade level and so far, it seems like they are all pretty kind to each other and get along well. I hope it continues as long as possible.