Dealing with a bully (long)

My 8 year old son is a pretty good kid - knows right from wrong and sticks up for those that are smaller than him. For 8, he is about average in height and a pretty skinny lanky kid. He was shy when he was smaller and over the years through sports and has started to come out of his shell.

Over the summer, while he was at camp an older boy (10 years old) and much bigger decided to focus on DS. Lets call him John. DS knew him from baseball. John got hit by a ball and never played again and actually asked my son why he got a trophy. DS told him - you have to EARN it - you just don't get one if you don't show up. As summer went on, John focused on DS and started to talk down to DS. We did not know that this was happening. It started off with DS not being happy with camp and then it got to the point where I started worrying he was depressed. Finally he told us about John and what was happening. DH and I encouraged our son to stand up for himself, did role playing, motivated him.We talked to the camp about monitoring the situation. Finally there was a day when John pushed DS and kicked him - DS hit his head. DH and I were pretty angry - demanded the camp take care of the issue. They made sure that DS and John were not in the same group and things got better.

Now the school year has started. John is in aftercare with DS. It is run by the school and as working parents, we need this service. On the first day, John hit DS with a soccer ball twice and started talking cr8p to DS. DS actually walked up to the head of the aftercare program and told her the situation (so proud of him!). I found that out when I went to pick him up - I wanted to bring the situation up and she said DS already told her. The kids is a plain and simple bully. He uses words and the fact that he is big to intimidate kids. She said she spoke to the mom and the kid. Well, today was day 2 and he basically stalked DS (where ever DS went he also went). By the way from what I know about the mom, she is a piece of work and I have a feeling I know where the kid gets his behavior.

What should I do at this point? I do not want this to escalate because I know what this does to DS' morale. We are not parents that overreact but I will not let my son spend the next school year dreading the school week. I am thinking about writing a formal letter to the school instead of a quick conversation. We live in NJ but I think the school system would have to handle this right?

Can I get some input?

Dealing with a bully (long)

Bullying is not tolerated in any school. It is the law. Document Document Document. Email your concerns to the principal and the head of the aftercare. If you speak with them send an email confirming your conversation. Usually the social worker at school heads up the bullying task force and ask her what the policy is in your school. I would demand they are not together at all and that staff needs to ensure your son is safe. Keep on top of them but most importantly document every single thing. Sorry your son is going through that but he sounds very mature and you should be proud of him!

Re: Dealing with a bully (long)

Talk with the principal and get it in writing that they are aware of the situation. I would tell your son to stay with his friends and in the sight of the teachers. Can he do his homework?

Dealing with a bully (long)

So sorry you are dealing with this. It is so hard.
I would think my aftercare program would monitor the situation for a few days and if it is clear that the bully is not easing up he would get kicked out of the program.