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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
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Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
My DD is in a playgroup, all ages between 10months and 13 months old.
One other mom in there has a boy, who IMO, she babies a LOT, always holding him, etc. Whatever, its her deal, her baby.
When they play, sometimes child takes a toy away from him and he FLIPS out crying...then she picks her son up, kisses and says its ok its ok.
So she tells me later she's sick of other babies being a bully to him  ...so today my DD takes a toy from him and I can imagine her thinking my DD is a bully  ...they're SO little, how is that being a bully? If someone takes a toy from my DD she either 1) moves on to another toy 2) takes it back or 3) sometimes whines
IMO I think her son needs to fend for himself a little more, its not like they're punching each other
I guess I wouldn't have a problem so much with this except this other mom tells me all the time how she's sick of other kids "picking" on her son 
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Posted 7/16/10 6:42 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
Do a search for one of my posts..same exact sitiuation except my "babier" had a DD...and I just gave her a dirty look (the mom, not the DD) one day and she realized she was being nuts...the other mom's sort of thought she was nut case as well...there is always one in every playgroup..
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| Posted 7/16/10 8:01 PM |
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Re: Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
I dont think kids at this age understand what theyre doing. They see something interesting, they go for it. Nothing intentional towards other babies. I read somewhere that once they hit 9 months they can recognize toys that are theirs and can get upset and try to take it back if another baby tries to play with it. Its just a natural reaction, no bullying. Tell that mommy to take a chill pill and remind her that her sons gotta learn that he cant get everything he wants.
Message edited 7/16/2010 9:43:11 PM.
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| Posted 7/16/10 9:42 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
I don't agree that her son needs to fend for himself more - he's just a baby, they don't understand, and of course he is going to get upset. My son was the same exact way at that age, the other kids he played with always took things from him and he would just stand there or cry and not do a thing.
I think it's the responsibility of the other parents to teach their kids to share. But I think she's kind of silly for calling the other kids bullies, that is just what kids do, it's how they learn to play with each other.
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| Posted 7/16/10 10:06 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
A Bully? at that age. . .that's just silly.
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| Posted 7/16/10 10:08 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
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Mommy
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Re: Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
Posted by headoverheels
I don't agree that her son needs to fend for himself more - he's just a baby, they don't understand, and of course he is going to get upset. My son was the same exact way at that age, the other kids he played with always took things from him and he would just stand there or cry and not do a thing.
I think it's the responsibility of the other parents to teach their kids to share. But I think she's kind of silly for calling the other kids bullies, that is just what kids do, it's how they learn to play with each other.
ITA! DS was the same way at times and at others he was the taker. Those are teaching moments for both parents. But the taker should not just be allowed to take things either. (Not that you just allow it) Soon the shoe will be on the other foot with her child and then she will change her opinion about the kids being bullies.
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| Posted 7/16/10 10:27 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
Posted by headoverheels
I don't agree that her son needs to fend for himself more - he's just a baby, they don't understand, and of course he is going to get upset. My son was the same exact way at that age, the other kids he played with always took things from him and he would just stand there or cry and not do a thing.
I think it's the responsibility of the other parents to teach their kids to share. But I think she's kind of silly for calling the other kids bullies, that is just what kids do, it's how they learn to play with each other.
ITA! My son was the same way. Got very upset when someone stole something from him. He definitely didn't need to learn to fend for himself. BUT i do think that it's the parents job to call their kid out on doing such things. It's not okay to grab things out of someone else's hands, period. So if i had to guess, your friend here... feels that none of the parents are teaching their kids that lesson. 
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| Posted 7/17/10 7:12 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
Posted by MaMaTeenie
Posted by headoverheels
I don't agree that her son needs to fend for himself more - he's just a baby, they don't understand, and of course he is going to get upset. My son was the same exact way at that age, the other kids he played with always took things from him and he would just stand there or cry and not do a thing.
I think it's the responsibility of the other parents to teach their kids to share. But I think she's kind of silly for calling the other kids bullies, that is just what kids do, it's how they learn to play with each other.
ITA! DS was the same way at times and at others he was the taker. Those are teaching moments for both parents. But the taker should not just be allowed to take things either. (Not that you just allow it) Soon the shoe will be on the other foot with her child and then she will change her opinion about the kids being bullies.
ITA. DS does take things, but he also cries hysterically if someone takes something from him. Both are times to gently let him know it's not OK to take things, or get that upset. One time he hit another kid--hard--for taking something, and DS is always larger than any of the other babies, so that was the worst.
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| Posted 7/17/10 8:06 AM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
I definitely don't just let her take things and do nothing...I usually give the toy back and redirect her to another toy...when my DD gets the toy taken away from her by another baby, she just moves on to another toy 99% of the time...I guess I just find it annoying that EVERY time someone takes his toy, he flips out and then the mom babies him. I guess I didn't mean "fend for himself" but instead, learn not to flip out all the time...and then mommy console him every time 
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| Posted 7/17/10 9:28 AM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
Posted by DPerotti
A Bully? at that age. . .that's just silly.
I don't know if it's silly. There is a girl in My DS's day care that from about a year, pushes the kids, pulls hair and it downright mean.
That being said, I don't think a 10 month taking a toy away is bullying.. I think it's a 10 month old.. being a 10 month old. They need to be taught to share.. both babies.. the toy taker and the the one who had the toy taken away.
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| Posted 7/17/10 10:10 AM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
Posted by brownie
I guess I didn't mean "fend for himself" but instead, learn not to flip out all the time...and then mommy console him every time
and how do you suppose one does that at 10 months???
Sorry, but that's just the way some kids are. Mine is or was (he's getting better). You can't change it. I can't change it either (even though i've tried). My point is... no reason to get upset about how someone else's kid reacts.
Message edited 7/17/2010 1:10:16 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/10 1:09 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can they really be a "bully" at this age?
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by brownie
I guess I didn't mean "fend for himself" but instead, learn not to flip out all the time...and then mommy console him every time
and how do you suppose one does that at 10 months???
Sorry, but that's just the way some kids are. Mine is or was (he's getting better). You can't change it. I can't change it either (even though i've tried). My point is... no reason to get upset about how someone else's kid reacts.
I get what you mean, I'm not upset about how he reacts...I think its more about how his mom reacts, as if everyone is "picking" on him...they're barely a year old, I really don't believe they can be "picking" on anyone yet 
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| Posted 7/17/10 4:19 PM |
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