so annoyed!!!

when we go to open houses, the listing agent tells us there are homes going up that might fit our criteria. I respectfully tell them to ONLY contact us with THEIR OWN LISTINGS!!!!! I need a SHARK to represent us in todays market and most agents are morons. I made a tentative appointment tonight and the agent said something that makes me think she isnt the listing agent. I just emailed her asking if she was.

Am I a jerk if I dont respond to her anymore? She clearly disregarded what I told her last weekend at one of her listing. I am so annoyed!

Re: so annoyed!!!

If you want a shark then why would you go with the listing agent? They will represent their client, the seller. Not you the buyer. You want a buyers agent to represent you and a phenomenal attorney.

so annoyed!!!

I think it would be fine to no longer work with the agent if your unhappy.

For me personally I didn't want to work with any listing agents. They work for the seller first and therefore they might not point out small stuff, too much of a conflict of interests for me.

Re: so annoyed!!!

no no... dh and I go alone and see the home thruthe listing agent and if we TRULY LOVE the house and want to make an offer, we have an agent that will be representing us.

the sellers agent will not represent us, they just show us the property.


am i doing this wrong? I dont want to drag my agent to every home. we see at least 20 properties a month, sometimes more in peak season. Its too much to drag a person with us

Re: so annoyed!!!

so the agent on this property isnt the listing agent but the listing agent is in her office. how does that work? theres no way in hell i want her representing us

so annoyed!!!

I don't think I'm following. If you have a buyer's agent, they should be going with you. Doesn't matter if you look at 20 houses a month - that's what they're getting paid to do.

Don't even worry who the listing agent is. You're only interest is to be able to get into the house to see it. Everything should be done through your buyer's agent.

I think it's odd that people here don't typically have buyer's agents. If you go through the listing agent, their "loyalty" is to the sellers and their desire for more commission. A buyer's agent should be looking out for your best interest (getting the price down lower, etc).

There have been a few times that we ran into weird issues when we went to an open house on our own. One realtor tried to tell us that we had to go through her (listing agent) b/c we weren't represented at the time, and we told her she was crazy. She hounded us for a long time until we got a buyer's agent and he finally got her to back off. (We didn't buy that house anyway).

so annoyed!!!

We went to a few open houses without our buyers agent and when we signed it it always asked if we were working with an agent. We always wrote yes (I don't remember if they asked for a name).

Re: so annoyed!!!

Message edited 2/10/2017 9:39:10 AM.

Re: so annoyed!!!

theres no way we will drag our agent with us. we are looking in 2 diff areas and he will have to go over a bridge each time. not happening


we will just go to the open house on our own tomorrow and if we love it and wan to proceed, we will call him.

Theres nothing the listing agent says or does that will affect the sale. We know what to look for and know the market. I view all town records/tax records, ask specific questions that usually cant be answered on the spot because the agents are clueless.

Re: so annoyed!!!

Message edited 2/10/2017 1:18:37 PM.

so annoyed!!!

I would only deal with listing agent---you are smart!

When we bought our home we essentially got it bc the agent didnt have to split his commision (and we also gave him our coop listing to sweeten the deal)

A buyers agent in our area is the best way TO NOT GET THE HOUSE lol

Re: so annoyed!!!

Message edited 2/10/2017 11:10:01 AM.

Re: so annoyed!!!

we lost the most incredible home by 3k but they waived inspection and mortgage. ive been crying for months.

we offered 60k above ask, too.

Message edited 2/10/2017 11:17:32 AM.

Re: so annoyed!!!

You are doing it wrong.

If you have a buyer's agent to represent you, they should be accompanying you to every single home. I assume your agent knows what you are looking for and can be in the best position to advise you on the homes you see. A good agent can point out pros/cons of the home and advise on value and offer strategy when representing a buyer.

If you choose to only deal with a listing agent, that's fine, too, but I agree with others that you are kind of short-changing yourself in that the listing agent is representing the seller and you are essentially going it alone. For those who think that you get some better "deal" by going through the listing agent, I'm sorry, but that's not correct. When I work as a listing agent, my duty is to get the best deal for my seller clients. In this market, I've had several listings lately where I've had multiple offers (like 10+ offers on the house). Even though I've had buyers putting offer in through me, they've all sold to the highest and best offer, which haven't been my buyers' offers. I would never steer a seller toward taking a lower offer just so I could double-side the deal, and I practically couldn't do it if I wanted to. I'm obligated, legally and ethically, to present every offer to the sellers. Why would they forego the best offer?

In this fast-paced market, successful and serious buyers have their own agent to represent them and guide them through the process. Yes, all agents aren't created equal, but you have to find a good one. I always do a buyer consultation before I start working with a buyer, so I can get to know them, their expectations (for a house and an agent), and so I can explain to them how I work and educate them on the buying process and the market. I find this helps ensure that everyone is on the same page and the buyer/agent relationship is a good fit. Investing this time upfront yields major benefits to the buyer, in that they are prepared and know what to expect in the process, and this leads to a greater chance of having an offer accepted.

The issue with asking the listing agent to show the home and then just bringing in a buyer's agent later to make the offer is that you are asking the listing agent to do the buyer's agent's work. If you reveal upfront that you have a buyer's agent, the listing agent will tell you to have the buyer's agent show the house to you. When I work as a buyer's agent, I don't WANT other agents talking to my clients. There can be ethical dilemmas for a listing agent talking to another agent's client and sharing substantive information.

If you don't reveal it upfront, and spring it on the listing agent later, that's worse. The listing agent is going to be very annoyed that all of a sudden, there's another agent in the picture that has to share the commission but hasn't done the work to bring about the sale. It's not going to help your cause to anger the listing agent.

I'm a professional, as a realtor. I'm not there to just unlock doors for people. If I take time out of my schedule (of other clients, personal time, etc.) to show a buyer a house (my listing or not), I assume that the buyer is using me for the sale. If the buyer has a buyer's agent, great, but I expect that buyer's agent to show the house and properly advise their own client. The way you are going about it is really disrespectful to the listing agent, in my opinion (even though that probably was not your intention).

If you can't expect your agent to show you every house - because the agent doesn't have time or is too far away geographically, then you have the wrong agent, it's as simple as that. Find a full-time agent who can dedicate themselves to working with you. Or, if it's a geographic issue that you are looking in two different areas, then work with 2 agents (have a buyer's agent for Westchester and one for LI, for example). Find a local expert in each area. But it sounds like right now, your agent is not really doing his/her job, whether this was your preference or not.

I would re-think how you are going about your house hunt. I don't think you are being represented to your maximum benefit, and from a practical standpoint, it will be problematic for you when it comes time to make an offer because the listing agent is NOT going to be happy and negotiations are not going to start off on the right foot.

ETA - What I'm saying above is how the market works on Long Island, which is where I work. Also, I have no problem with other agents' buyers stopping into my open houses alone, as long as they tell me they are working with an agent. My own buyer clients often stop in open houses and give my name and/or card. That's fine. My issue is calling listing agents to ask about houses and scheduling private appointments with them without revealing that you have a buyer's agent you intend to have represent you in the sale. That's wrong and is going to hurt you in the long run.

Message edited 2/10/2017 11:29:43 AM.

Re: so annoyed!!!

You make so much sense. I dont want to waste anyones time dragging them to every home. I even go to open houses that we have no intention of buying just to keep up to date with the market. It's been a very long process. We dont want to settle. we dont have kids yet so there's no rush but we dont want to get priced out of yet ANOTHER neighborhood.

Re: so annoyed!!!

We didnt have a buyers agent until December nor were we planning to ever use one. We met him at an open house and I was blown away by his knowledge and professionalism. I contacted him 6 months later asking to represent us and he went above and beyond. Unfortunately, we couldnt compete with a cash offer. I cant even type about that house without getting teary eyed.

You make perfect sense about telling listing agents we have someone representing us. Never thought of it that way. yikes!

Re: so annoyed!!!

Re: so annoyed!!!

If you have two locations then you want two different buyer agents. They need to be local to the properties you are looking at and in touch with your local markets. You are really going at this all wrong. By doing what you are doing is going to royally piss off the sellers agent and they may say don't go with you because you pissed them off. You want to find someone who is a full time buyer agent in your location who will represent you. You don't need to take them to even open house, but they should be sending you listings and alerting you to properties that are not yet on the market in areas where you want to buy. What if that house with no inspection had a cracked foundation. You want an inspection. Fwiw we were beaten by seven all cash offers for our forever home. You can't win that game. It's ok you will find something.

Message edited 2/10/2017 1:25:40 PM.

so annoyed!!!

Your agent should be sending you listings and he should be showing you the properties you find and want to look at--for 3% commission do not feel bad about asking him to work. Our agent was an amazing asset when we bought out house- DH and I were first time buyer and really benifited from our agent's knowledge of the areas we were looking to buy in-we were out bid a couple of times and ultimately we put in two offers on two different houses a few blocks away from each other--the owners of the house we bought were very motivated to accept our best and final offer and agreed not to take any other offers while we did our inspection once they heard we had made another offer on a comparable property.

Re: so annoyed!!!

I agree with whats been posted so far- if you have an agent, you should make sure he/she is going with you to each property, even Open Houses. We had the unfortunate experience of going once to an OH on our own (did so on a whim and our agent had another OH at same time) and the minute I listed our agents name on the Sign in sheet, the sellers agent rudely pulled me aside and told me she couldnt allow me to walk through the house un-escorted unless my agent appeared. She then grabbed my arm like a scolded child and pushed me toward the front door. I was so mad, I texted my agent to ask if this was allowed, and said the sellers agent was an ass and promply drove over to show me the house.

It was a bit ackward the sellers agent was a bit if a b- our agent told us about that particular agent, lol.. Good thing we didnt like the house anyway but after that experience, we made sure that if we attended any OH or see homes via appointment, we wouldn't disclose we had an agent and then if we did like something to see it a 2nd time, we would bring our agent along. The whole house buying process sucks in LI. You dont see so much "territory" marking antics in other states, IMHO.

Re: so annoyed!!!

Posted by EclecticEsq10810

I agree with whats been posted so far- if you have an agent, you should make sure he/she is going with you to each property, even Open Houses. We had the unfortunate experience of going once to an OH on our own (did so on a whim and our agent had another OH at same time) and the minute I listed our agents name on the Sign in sheet, the sellers agent rudely pulled me aside and told me she couldnt allow me to walk through the house un-escorted unless my agent appeared. She then grabbed my arm like a scolded child and pushed me toward the front door. I was so mad, I texted my agent to ask if this was allowed, and said the sellers agent was an ass and promply drove over to show me the house.

It was a bit ackward the sellers agent was a bit if a b- our agent told us about that particular agent, lol.. Good thing we didnt like the house anyway but after that experience, we made sure that if we attended any OH or see homes via appointment, we wouldn't disclose we had an agent and then if we did like something to see it a 2nd time, we would bring our agent along. The whole house buying process sucks in LI. You dont see so much "territory" marking antics in other states, IMHO.

Message edited 2/12/2017 4:00:52 AM.

so annoyed!!!

I agree you need a buyers agent. We had one on LI and were going to get a different one in Westchester but then we found our house.

We actually stopped going to open houses once we had our agent. She would try to get us in before the open houses. In fact, she showed us our house an hour before the first open house and raced to the seller's agent to put our offer in before she left the office. Needless to say, we got the house. She was awesome and I wish we could use her again when we buy our next house but we won't be buying on LI.

Also, LI is a cake walk compared to Queens and Westchester. Even my agent said she wouldn't work in Queens for any amount of money. My friends who bought in Westchester had houses pulled from under them left and right. It was a nightmare. We're gearing up

Message edited 2/12/2017 2:02:54 PM.

Re: so annoyed!!!

Posted by LuckyStar

I agree you need a buyers agent. We had one on LI and were going to get a different one in Westchester but then we found our house.

We actually stopped going to open houses once we had our agent. She would try to get us in before the open houses. In fact, she showed us our house an hour before the first open house and raced to the seller's agent to put our offer in before she left the office. Needless to say, we got the house. She was awesome and I wish we could use her again when we buy our next house but we won't be buying on LI.

Also, LI is a cake walk compared to Queens and Westchester. Even my agent said she wouldn't work in Queens for any amount of money. My friends who bought in Westchester had houses pulled from under them left and right. It was a nightmare. We're gearing up

Re: so annoyed!!!

Posted by luvbuffet

Posted by LuckyStar

I agree you need a buyers agent. We had one on LI and were going to get a different one in Westchester but then we found our house.

We actually stopped going to open houses once we had our agent. She would try to get us in before the open houses. In fact, she showed us our house an hour before the first open house and raced to the seller's agent to put our offer in before she left the office. Needless to say, we got the house. She was awesome and I wish we could use her again when we buy our next house but we won't be buying on LI.

Also, LI is a cake walk compared to Queens and Westchester. Even my agent said she wouldn't work in Queens for any amount of money. My friends who bought in Westchester had houses pulled from under them left and right. It was a nightmare. We're gearing up

I hate it! We are leaving for Japan next week and I'm having anxiety that we will miss homes while we are away. This is not normal!!