How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

My toddler is very strong, very large and throws a lot of tantrums for little reason. It's so bad that I fear going out with toddler without my husband to help. I can't lift or pick up my toddler if he isn't cooperating. Has anyone dealt with this? What do you do when you cannot get your toddler to cooperate? Such as get in the car, get in the carseat, not throw themselves on the floor, not run away (which I can easily be outrun!) etc. I really am at a loss and have never dealt with this before.

How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

How old is your child? My answer would be different for a 1yo versus a 3yo

Re: How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

Message edited 3/20/2019 3:55:56 PM.

How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

My son was this way up until recently ( he is 4)
I hate to tell you but it’s age appropriate and best thing to do at age 2 is redirect and positive reinforcement (they won’t understand discipline yet)

If you feel the tantrums are beyond what’s age appropriate for a 2 yr old I would consult your pediatrician but it sounds as though what is happening is very normal. Hang in there

How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

One of my twins is like your son, very very strong willed and sensitive. If there is something to tantrum over, he tantrums and he bullies his brother (they just turned 2 in January) and it’s been this way for a while. I usually don’t have help and am on my own with both except sundays when my husband and I are home together. Usually in public he’s better than at home, except if we are leaving a place. If I know there will be a tantrum leaving I bring my stroller to strap them in and walk to the car and put them in one by one. I’m very strict with naps so we are home daily by 12:30 the latest for lunch and then nap 1-3:30. If my kids are tired, especially my tantrum child it’s hell so i live and die by naps. I also bring snacks and a few trucks and a book with me, it keeps them both occupied if we are going out to eat. I frequently will take them to breakfast of lunch alone and I bring a few small, silent trucks with me and a book to keep them busy and snacks, I find if they are occupied and not famished they are better. Usually tantrums increase too when they are hungry. But, he’s also 2 and tantrums are super normal for this age. I usually just make sure basic needs are met before ignoring the tantrum. I just pick them up, screaming if I have to and put them in the car, I don’t react and stay calm (easier said than done) but if I am “tantruming” in response to their tantrum, I can’t except them to behave differently. My kids are pretty advanced language wise. Unfortunately my one that is usually better is very advanced and the other just started having a language explosion. I have noticed since he is talking is full sentences now and able to have a conversation, the tantrums are less. Hang in there, once he’s able to communicate more you will likely see a change in behavior, he won’t be as frustrated! Also remember, if you are out and there are other moms around and your child is tantruming, guaranteed their child has pulled the same thing out so don’t feel embarrassed and if it’s a mom with a teenager or an elderly person, their kids definitely did the same thing too at one point! I’d love to meet a parent whose kid didn’t go bananas in public and I would gladly hand my kid over for some training! When all else fails... if you need to get out there’s a Starbucks drive threw for a reason!!!

How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

I did not go anywhere from 1 1/2 to 5 alone with him. Not helpful, but true. So I can feel your pain. Just want you to know you are not alone. My son was non verbal until 3. And even now at 7 he is willful and demanding. And some days it is just too much. I can't have him out alone for more than about an hour.

Re: How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

Re: How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

With a 2 year old like this id pick your battles. Some will call me crazy but id choose not to push a willful child like this. There must be a reason he gets upset. Do you know what it is? Like he doesnt want to get into the car, or the carseat -- do you know why? Can you redirect with something he does like? I know it sounds like bribing but at 2 you need to do what you can to survive lol. Maybe say things like -- we can bring your favorite toy in the car today. Or lets have a lollipop when we go shopping if you sit nicely. Sometimes you just need to get through the thick of it. Then they get used to moving through he world on your timeline. Not easy for anyone.

How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

By fall he might be better. My oldest went through a VERY difficult period from 2-2.5. Huge tantrums, and he was big and strong. I was also pregnant with out second, so I couldn't pick him or overpower him at all. I once took him to Target. He melted down the second I let him out of the car seat. We never made it into the store. I had to sit in the parking lot for about 30 minutes waiting for the tantrum to subside enough that I could get him back in the car seat to leave. It was awful. I could feel the judgment from people as they passed, but there was nothing I could do. He was stronger than me, and I couldn't pick him up. It's the one time I've ever gone to Target and bought NOTHING (admittedly I didn't actually enter the store). By 2.5, which is when our second was born, he still had occasional tantrums, but they had subsided a lot and didn't last as long so you could wait them out.

Re: How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

Re: How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

Re: How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

Re: How to handle an extremely difficult and temper tantrum throwing toddler?

Yep... some kids are strong willed.

For car: I drive often and just force kid in. No playing around. I lift and place kid in car seat and buckle in. They go through a phase where they fight it and I just force through it. They can fight strong but can’t fight for very long. I will snap one snap at a time and warn them that if they struggle, they may get hurt by the snap. They are not allowed to get themselves in if they fool around. Nothing in car. No DVD, no phones, no toys. Nothing. I drive A LOT and they just have to get on board early.

For floor tantrums: I let it go. I tell the kid that someone will step on them. I really have very little shame in public. Sometimes I would use a stroller as punishment (would put them in the stroller if they tantrumed).

For running: two options. Option one is making kid hold hands at ALL times. Consistency is hard... let them free in the park or a playplace and you lose ground. Option 2 is a leash. I’ve used both options with different kids.

While some kids get better with language... my youngest got smarter and got worse. She manipulates very well and knows what gets things done (high pitch screaming with her father).

I do start punishing at home at 2. We make them sit on a step. I call it “baby jail”. It works very well.