2 year old behavioral issues?

My twins are 2 1/2. DS acts up like any normal 2 year old. DD is so aggressive. She'll get upset about something and just scream. Not just your normal screaming and crying. She lets out this big scream to the point where she turns beet red, clenches her fists and starts shaking. Then she'll stop and immediately do it again. My friends said their kids scream but not like that. She'll get so mad that she screams and shakes then bite whatever or whoever is in front of her. Me, the couch, her arm...... Is this normal for a 2 1/2 year old? Will this pass? She gets so angry!! TIA!

2 year old behavioral issues?

My Dc is a bit younger than yours but he will throw a tantrum here and there. Hes been known to bite, but doesnt do it during a tantrum. He will more do it out of no where but much hasnt done it as much recently.

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

how is her speech? could it be that she is frustrated that she can't properly communicate what is upsetting her? Do you ask her "why are you screaming that way? what is it that's making you upset? show me, tell me"

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

Posted by luckysmom

Posted by meloyellow

how is her speech? could it be that she is frustrated that she can't properly communicate what is upsetting her? Do you ask her "why are you screaming that way? what is it that's making you upset? show me, tell me"

Her speech is phenomenal. I had her twin brother evaluated for speech after he wasn't saying anything but babbling at just over a year. She was answering all the questions they asked my son and they said she was abnormally advanced in her speech, especially for a preemie. So verbally she's fine. The other day, she got mad because i picked her up from daycare, and tried putting her in the car. She did that whole screaming and shaking bid and then she bit my shoulder. It was then a FIGHT to get her to stay seated in her car seat. I literally wanted to cry! After finally getting her in the car she was fine after a few minutes. I talked to her camly and told her she upset mommy and it's not nice to bite me or anyone else. She then said she was sorry. I asked her why she bit me and her response was "cuz". I asked her a few more times and then i said "why did you get mad". She just kept saying "cuz, i get mad" If she really wanted to tell me why, she could. She's told me before that she kicked a boy at daycare because he had her ball. Just this morning, she knocked a little boy down over a toy he had. She did this when she first got in. DH and I immediately went over to her and told her that's not nice, he was playing with it first and to give it back. she gave it back and we made her apologize for knocking him over. When we picked her up from daycare today, we found out that she got mad that one of the ladies at daycare was feeding my 9 month old and she went over and kicked the woman and again did the whole screaming thing. I almost feel like she doesn't know how to deal with her anger or frustration. But how do you teach a 2 1/2 year old how to deal with it? We enforce time outs with both the twins. We actually had to change the time out spot to a pack n play that we have set up for the baby because they thought the old time out spot was a joke. I just don;t know what to do anymore. Is this just a phase? Do we continue to have patience with her and just keep enforcing time outs? I'm at such a loss here

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

Posted by meloyellow

Posted by luckysmom

Posted by meloyellow

how is her speech? could it be that she is frustrated that she can't properly communicate what is upsetting her? Do you ask her "why are you screaming that way? what is it that's making you upset? show me, tell me"

Her speech is phenomenal. I had her twin brother evaluated for speech after he wasn't saying anything but babbling at just over a year. She was answering all the questions they asked my son and they said she was abnormally advanced in her speech, especially for a preemie. So verbally she's fine. The other day, she got mad because i picked her up from daycare, and tried putting her in the car. She did that whole screaming and shaking bid and then she bit my shoulder. It was then a FIGHT to get her to stay seated in her car seat. I literally wanted to cry! After finally getting her in the car she was fine after a few minutes. I talked to her camly and told her she upset mommy and it's not nice to bite me or anyone else. She then said she was sorry. I asked her why she bit me and her response was "cuz". I asked her a few more times and then i said "why did you get mad". She just kept saying "cuz, i get mad" If she really wanted to tell me why, she could. She's told me before that she kicked a boy at daycare because he had her ball. Just this morning, she knocked a little boy down over a toy he had. She did this when she first got in. DH and I immediately went over to her and told her that's not nice, he was playing with it first and to give it back. she gave it back and we made her apologize for knocking him over. When we picked her up from daycare today, we found out that she got mad that one of the ladies at daycare was feeding my 9 month old and she went over and kicked the woman and again did the whole screaming thing. I almost feel like she doesn't know how to deal with her anger or frustration. But how do you teach a 2 1/2 year old how to deal with it? We enforce time outs with both the twins. We actually had to change the time out spot to a pack n play that we have set up for the baby because they thought the old time out spot was a joke. I just don;t know what to do anymore. Is this just a phase? Do we continue to have patience with her and just keep enforcing time outs? I'm at such a loss here

Ugh, I'm so sorry. I know that would make me very stressed. I definitely agree that she doesn't know how to handle her anger but I'm no expert so i don't even know what to suggest. Since she CAN communicate verbally but is choosing not to, can you maybe try having her communicate her anger alternatively by having her draw when she gets upset? it may be a good way to teach her to focus her energy elsewhere. Or perhaps when you see her getting into that angry mode get her in the habit of counting to 10 or something...just as a distraction? do you think she would be on board with following that?

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

I'm sorry your dealing with this. It is probably normal but a lot of Parents call for evaluations relating to behavior alone. Most of the time it is biting, pinching etc due to expressive language delays but maybe it is something else? If you are really worried I would call the County and let them do a Psych supp. They can even just do a screening if you aren't sure. Hopefully its just a faze

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

yes! I've seen that keep calm jar...do it in a plastic water bottle...like the VOSS ones and put press and seal on it before you cap it. then you won't have to worry too much about her throwing it.

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

Posted by MCD0524

I'm sorry your dealing with this. It is probably normal but a lot of Parents call for evaluations relating to behavior alone. Most of the time it is biting, pinching etc due to expressive language delays but maybe it is something else? If you are really worried I would call the County and let them do a Psych supp. They can even just do a screening if you aren't sure. Hopefully its just a faze

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

MY DD is going thru major tantrums!!! She is just over 2. She doesn't bite or hit but she doesn't stop and can't control herself. It is nuts. She too is also very verbal so it isn't a frustration thing. She is super stubborn!! She doesn't get her way - she goes nuts. Screams and cries uncontrollably. I have 2 boys who never were this bad with their tantrums. I try to distract her and all the usual but it just doesn't work...sometimes it can go one for 15-30+ minutes. I never know what will set her off too. One day she didn't like her shirt we put on her. Yesterday is was because we visited her brother at school and he didn't come home with her. Another day because I wouldn't let her have a snack she wanted because dinner was almost ready. I just quit swimming because she would do it there about half way thru she'd go nuts...either because she wanted me or the teacher was teaching her not letting her do what she wants. Right now it is all about control - I am hoping it fades as she learns her boundaries.

2 year old behavioral issues?

MY DD is almost 2 and we have a tantrum about once a day if not a couple times a day. Her tantrums are throwing everything and anything in sight, then she will start hitting whatever is in front of her. Last night she pretty much cried from the time we finished dinner till bedtime because she wasn't getting her way. I don't know what to do at this point because she is driving me crazy. Everything is a battle if she doesn't get her way. I don't give in, I do time outs, I try to redirect. She's just stubborn. I don't see how this can last for 2 more years. She is able to communicate her speech is excellent.

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

My 15 month old girl does this. She screams, bends her head to floor and bites anything around her. She usually does it when DS (2.5) takes something from her. She also looks at me directly as she screams!

Now, I realize there is a difference between 15 months and 2.5, but she does it when she thinks she's being "neglected" or "abused" as in the boy gets something and she doesn't for sure attention. Maybe... Just maybe... Since you have twins this may be part of it?

I've started yelling at her for the biting and it's gotten better (she stops herself). She has just a little language at this age, but she's so upset, she'd still only scream.

DS never, ever did anything like it... And he is 2.5... But he usually is the "taker". "Baby bit me" is commonly heard in our home!

Good luck...

Just wanted to let you know that I don't think this is that strange, especially watching my 2 go at each other!

2 year old behavioral issues?

My 4 yo DD is very much like this and always has been. It is difficult and exhausting. I think planning ahead is crutial as well as reading stories for EVERY LITTLE THING. I make stories up about everything for example: We have a birthday party.. the story would be with pictures she knows about birthday parties (what they are like, who will be thier, noise level, and what to do if she gets frustrated (take deep breaths, count to 10 find a quite spot))

I also would recomend the book Raising your Spirited Child by Mary-Sheedy-Kurcinka

Good luck and know that your are doing a great job becuase sometime we forget:)

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

DS has been raised with his cousins who are only a couple months younger (they are all 4 now).

Honestly, we started having issues like this with him around 1 1/2 and didn't take it seriously enough until it began causing conflict in the family, and we knew he would be starting nursery school. It got to a point where I even found myself not wanting to go out in public with him or to events where there would be other kids because I was so anxious about how he would act.

We began the process to have him evaluated around 3 1/2. He is doing AMAZING now (mostly only has his tantrums when he is tired), but I was at my wits end before that point.

We were displaced for a month and a half with Sandy and it got really bad then.

At this point, his specialists feel that he has a mild sensory issue. His speech has been phenomenal since he was super young too.

He does not have any issues with other kids at this point (in fact, all the kids in his class seem to adore him, the girls especially
).

When he does have issues, it is only towards his cousins and I think it's more of a sibling rivalry thing.

2 year old behavioral issues?

Thanks Ladies! I am REALLY hoping this fades within the next few months or I will really think about getting her evaluated. I never know what's goign to set her off. She can be fine for one minute and the next minute her brother is signing a song and she doesn't want him to sing because she now wants to sing and the goes into a full blown blood curdling scream tantrum. I thought maybe it had something to do with her twin brother. But honestly, if he gets something, she gets the same thing or something very similar. Something i learned very quickly with siblings, especially twins, is that if one has it, the other has to have it. I have double of a lot of things because of this. I do think that it can be slight jealousy of her 9 month old baby brother. But i ALWAYS try to include the twins as much as I can when i do anythign with him. Change his diaper, feed him, change his clothes, play time. And i totally get that's what it could be and maybe i need more one on one time with her. I'm actually going to take her out next weekend just me and her. To Barnes and Noble or something. She loves books i was going to take her there to read and buy some books together. I just feel that the way she expresses her anger is just so out of control. DH and I have talked about having to stop yelling at her and her twin. We yell, not scream but yell, when they are doing something that can hurt themselves or when they are hurting someone else. We'll yell at them and put them in the time out corner. But i feel that yelling at them is doing nothing. So instead, i've been putting her in time out until she calms down and talk to her calmly to see if i can get to the root of the problem. I'm sorry there are so many of us going through something similar, but i'm also glad to know that I am not the only one going through this. I don't want my daughter to be known as a bully or have to always worry about what's going to set her off when we go out somewhere. Thanks for all the responses ladies and good luck to all of you, i hope it ends real soon :)

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee

DS has been raised with his cousins who are only a couple months younger (they are all 4 now).

Honestly, we started having issues like this with him around 1 1/2 and didn't take it seriously enough until it began causing conflict in the family, and we knew he would be starting nursery school. It got to a point where I even found myself not wanting to go out in public with him or to events where there would be other kids because I was so anxious about how he would act.

We began the process to have him evaluated around 3 1/2. He is doing AMAZING now (mostly only has his tantrums when he is tired), but I was at my wits end before that point.

We were displaced for a month and a half with Sandy and it got really bad then.

At this point, his specialists feel that he has a mild sensory issue. His speech has been phenomenal since he was super young too.

He does not have any issues with other kids at this point (in fact, all the kids in his class seem to adore him, the girls especially
).

When he does have issues, it is only towards his cousins and I think it's more of a sibling rivalry thing.

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?

We initially took him to a private psychologist, through my insurance. I wanted his opinion, because I was getting from multiple angles that "this is just a kid being a kid" or "I'm a teacher and he is nothing like some of the kids with issues I have. He'll grow out of it. It's for attention".

After only meeting with DS a couple of times, he said he felt there were issues and we should go through the school district for an evaluation. He was 3 at the time so we went through the CPSE department.

I don't know how to go about getting services for kids that are younger than that but the ladies on the Children with Special Needs board are very knowledgeable with this stuff.

Re: 2 year old behavioral issues?