3.5 year old that refuses to play alone...

Im ready to serious check myself in to a mental facility. I with him for approx. 10 hours a day and he WILL not play by himself at all I dont mind playing for a little while but obviously I have to get things done also. I have tried everything....sneaking away, telling him Ill be right back, rewards (yup I said it)...NOTHING is working. Has this happened to anyone and what did you do about it. He will play by himself but Im basically not allowed to leave the room and its literally for a minute and then he tells me to play with him again. I really think at this age he should be playing independently, right?

Oh and I want to add that when I do sneak away he ends up acting out...throwing toys, screaming for me to come back, and breaking toys. And when I tell him "Im just going to brush my teeth" He actually says "Ill come with you" HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: 3.5 year old that refuses to play alone...

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!! Are you living my life?!?!? I feel your pain as I could've written this word for word! I can't wait to see responses!

I have tried the playing for 30 minutes, then going to throw a load of laundry in for 2 minutes and all hell breaks loose. (Whether I warned him or not that in 2 minutes I had to go do something.)

I have also tried having him help me load the washer. That was fine and dandy, but he wants to know why he can't pu the clothes from washer to dryer. THEY ARE STACKED ON TOP OF EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!

Even DH said he feels like we have a newborn again because he never wants to be alone!!!!!!

Re: 3.5 year old that refuses to play alone...

Re: 3.5 year old that refuses to play alone...

Bumping...really need advise.

Re: 3.5 year old that refuses to play alone...

Bumping! Someone has to have some suggestions for her!

Re: 3.5 year old that refuses to play alone...

How about setting a timer? Tell him that you will play with him until the timer goes off, then he will have to play by himself until the timer goes off again, and then you will play with him again. You can start out just taking a minute or two away from playing with him, and then just extend the time a little at a time. Try to turn the whole thing into a game.

Re: 3.5 year old that refuses to play alone...

I have a DD who doesn't like to play alone, so this is what has worked for me:
if I have to cook, I play with her, then tell her now it's time for mommy to cook, but you can cook with me , I take her little kitchen set with all the dishes and fake food and put it next to the kitchen, so I see her and she sees me, and this is how "we" cook
I let her help me with unloading the dishwasher. I also got her a little vacuum , so when I vacuum I give her a little vacuum and she does it with me, lol.
I try to do the laundry when she is in school 2x a week, or do it with her she "helps" .
Other times I let her watch TV (I don't let her watch too much, maybe 1-2 hrs a day, morning and evening)
She likes to feel like she is involved in almost everything I do so I make her feel that way (or I try)
Sometimes I get frustrated , but then I think about it and tell myself "enjoy while you can, bc there will come a time when she will NOT want play with you, or do all the things she does now"

Re: 3.5 year old that refuses to play alone...

My DS is younger (almost 2 1/2). I am recently unemployed so he is getting really used to me being around.

I do the same as tatuka.....I involve him in a LOT!

His kitchen is in my kitchen (luckily we have the space).

Going potty is a team event though


But to get him to play independently, I am sure to save certain toys for him to play with that hold his interest for awhile. For example....I moved his Thomas trains into the playroom, not in the livingroom anymore. This way....if I want to fold laundry or even go on the computer, I take him to the playroom.

Because the trains are not always there, he is so excited to play with them he doesn't care for at least 15 minutes if I am playing or not!

Re: 3.5 year old that refuses to play alone...

I wish I had advice, but my son was exactly like that too. Unfortunately the main way we broke this habit was by having his baby sister, lol. Poor little guy had to learn to entertain himself "cold turkey". Not ideal circumstances, but he really plays beautifully independently now, and with his little sis too.

Re: 3.5 year old that refuses to play alone...

Re: 3.5 year old that refuses to play alone...

DD will start that way but if I hold firm when I need to get something done she'll usually forget all about me and end up playing for 30 minutes or so. Usually a potty trip is what then reminds her she wants me.