Parent Issue - would you be angry?

A little long, but I need to vent...

My parents live 4 hours away and rarely come to see us.

At Christmas they said they wanted to come visit. So I've been cleaning like a maniac and getting things ready for them.

On Thursday I called my mom and asked what time they were coming up. Her response was "Sometime Saturday. We're not spending the night though."

I told them they were more than welcome to spend the night - I had already made up the guest room. Then she says "Well, I didn't even want to come this weekend, but I agreed since your father said we didn't have to stay over."

I was dumbfounded. She tried to play it off - she's tired from work this week, etc. But I thought it was so rude.

Then my dad emails me today and says he's not feeling well, so they may not come at all. I email back, saying why don't we just reschedule, since mom said she didn't really want to come and he was sick.

He emails me back to say that he was just covering for her, and since I already knew she didn't want to come, he didn't need to cover for her anymore, but they would call me tonight to let me know their final decision.

Cut to tonight at 9:00 they still hadn't called me. So I decide to call them and they answer the phone like they weren't expecting to hear from me and when I said "Are you coming?" they just said "No, we decided not to when dad got home from work."

When I asked why they didn't call earlier, they said they got busy and didn't think it was a big deal.

So I told them to have a good weekend, I hung up the phone and burst into tears.

I have a right to be angry, right???

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

I would be so hurt and angry.

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

I would have burst into tears too

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

I would've been extremely hurt

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

um yes, you have a right to be angry! and not to mention, what peculiar behavior!

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

yup, I'd be angry too

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

Yes I would be angry and very hurt too.

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

Pretty strange behavior

Have they acted like this before?

Message edited 1/7/2006 7:53:41 AM.

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

im so sorry! I would be so hurt and angry also. Some people dont realize that their actions adn word are hurtful. IM sure they would never try to intentionally get you upset. Do they usually do this kind of thing?

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

i would be hurt as well

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

I would be so angry and hurt as well. Dont let it ruin your relationship. Forgive but remember. They are your parents and I am sure the advice you would hear would be much different if it were your friend. Family doesn't always do right but int the end they will be there for you. I would be upset but dont let it hinder your relationship.

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

I would be extremely hurt and angry.

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

VERY angry and upset!

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

That would leave me very upset.

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

thats both rude and hurtful. am sorry that they did that to you.

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

I'd be ticked!

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

I wouldve been both very hurt and angry.
Sorry this happened!

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

Lauren, I'm sorry! Yes, you have the right to be hurt and angry with them. This may be a personal question and you don't have to answer but has it always been this way w/ them when it comes to visiting you guys?

Message edited 1/7/2006 9:22:09 AM.

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

OMG! Lauren, I am so sorry! I would be soooo upset if my mom did something like that.

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

You have every right to be upset.

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

I would be hurt and upset as well. I'm so sorry they did that to you!

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

OMG! Not only do you have a right to be angry, but you have a right to be hurt. What they did to you was so insensitive and downright cruel. The next time they get ready for a visit from you you should pull that stunt and see how they feel.

Re: Parent Issue - would you be angry?

Thanks everyone. I vented then went to bed, so I'm just seeing the reactions and questions.

To answer the questions, no, they don't usually do this kind of thing.

I mean, they aren't planners, and they rarely stay the night, but they usually at least follow through with things.

My mom's behavior was way out of character. She's usually completely obsessed with not saying anything that would hurt anyone's feelings.

I've asked if there is anything else going on, but they say no. So I don't know what the deal is.

Oh well, you can't choose your family, right?

Thank you - I feel better knowing my reaction was normal.