UPDATED!! I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

so my longtime neighbor had a whole bunch of woman issues(cists,operations etc) she wasnt even supposed to be able to have children Well she is pregnant
But they found out that the baby probably wont survive because all his organs are in his chest..........the problem is she is having a Baby Shower and I am not really sure what to get
all the good stuff has been taken already and now I am kinda on my own......Do I get the baby clothes even though we know he really wont survive??
This is so sad I hope I can hold it together at the shower

OK so I found out she went into labor last week and she is 9 weeks early so they stopped her labor and gave her steroids etc.
Today was the shower and everyone is just being so POSITIVE I ended up getting 4 outfits (boy) and a baby gym
She was only allowed to stay at the shower for a little bit because she is SUPPOSED TO BE ON COMPLETE BEDREST
she looks just great Please pray for her and the baby
Thanks

Message edited 4/8/2006 11:22:06 PM.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset esily dont read this)

There is always HOPE, doctors, sonos, amnios and other tests are sometimes wrong. God can still work a miracle here.

I personally feel it is great that your friend is having the experience that she probably dreamed of having by having a shower even though the doctors have told her this. The gift you give does not matter, that fact that her friends and family are there to share her joy is what matters. Yes, I said JOY. She is probably joyful that she was able to get pregnant and hopeful that the baby survives. Just be there for her, don't pity her. Treat her as if the baby is healthy, it is obvious to me that is what she wants if she is having a baby shower.

I will be praying for your friend and her baby. I will also pray for you that you can be a source of light to your friend in a dark situation.

Message edited 4/5/2006 8:53:37 AM.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

That is very sad. I Pray for a miracle. I would get some kind of photo album, scrap book she can use to save the memories and photos she has with the baby along with the plaster hand & foot frames so she can make a print of baby's hand foot and keep forever. I hope things work out....

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

hmmm I dont know why they would be having a shower if it was definite the baby wont live as soon as its born.
Could it be that maybe it might not live a long life? maybe even live a few years? maybe there is hope?
If your going to the shower then I would get anything from the list. If its clothes, then its clothes.
The parents obviously want to celebrate this childs birth so anything you buy is appropriate.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

This is so sad. Something like this happened to friends of mine a few years ago and it was devastating. But they didn't know about the defect until shortly before the baby was born. I don't have any advice on a shower gift, but wanted to offer a to your friend.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

Just sending many hugs and prayers and hoping for a miracle

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

Personally I think a shower is really not the best idea in this case. I can't imagine that your friend is okay with having a shower. I mean, how can you truly prepare to raise a baby that there is a good chance will not be able to survive? It is awful but I would think a shower would make this worse.
I would get her a Tiffany rattle or something that she can keep and cherish.
I hope your friend and her baby are okay..and there are always miracles, but this seems just very difficult.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

she is supposed to go to a hospital in teh city I think and then when she delivers they may have to operate on him right away

Message edited 4/9/2006 5:02:59 PM.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

I say you get a gift certificate to Target so she can either get stuff for the baby if the baby survives or she can alwasy use it for things for herself

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

I like the keepsake idea that others posted, either a scrapbook or a rattle or silver cup or spoon that she can hold onto.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

My bil lived for 30+ years with all of his internal organs in the wrong places.
I don't have advice to give but rather just wanted to say life delivers miracles.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

This is a rough question. I cant imagine having a shower if I were in this place because of the memories it might hold in the end. but I guess they are hoping for the best, so so should everyone else.

I would buy a gift card if it were me...

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

I'm so sorry for your friend, that's horrible.
As for the gift, get a gift card and let her purchase whatever she needs. Maybe even think about getting a gift card just for her for a massage, or manicure and pedicure- something to treat herself.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

I dont know what to say....I will pray for your friend

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

First I want to say how sorry I am for you friend. But I also want to say that I have a friend whose daughter was born this way she is 21 now and healthy. The dr said she is a miracle. So there is hope.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

Posted by michele31

Personally I think a shower is really not the best idea in this case. I can't imagine that your friend is okay with having a shower. I mean, how can you truly prepare to raise a baby that there is a good chance will not be able to survive? It is awful but I would think a shower would make this worse.
I would get her a Tiffany rattle or something that she can keep and cherish.
I hope your friend and her baby are okay..and there are always miracles, but this seems just very difficult.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

Unfortunately, I know your situation firsthand. I would get a keepsake box for photos, locks of hair, etc. Also there is a kit for handprints & fingerprints you could give.

I truly hope for a miracle for your friend - but hope most is for friends she can lean on no matter what the outcome.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

Posted by nrthshgrl

Unfortunately, I know your situation firsthand. I would get a keepsake box for photos, locks of hair, etc. Also there is a kit for handprints & fingerprints you could give.

I truly hope for a miracle for your friend - but hope most is for friends she can lean on no matter what the outcome.

Re: I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

I just met someone who was in a similar situation as the mom you described. She had twins and one of her twins had all his organs in his chest. He went through many surgeries, but he is 1 year old and growing. You never know... There are miracles.

I think the memory book/baby book is a great idea. You can also get her something from Target with a gift receipt so she can always exchange it.

Re: UPDATED!! I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

bump for update

Re: UPDATED!! I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

I hope she is OK and they are able to hold off her labor for a few more weeks.

Wasn't it kind of risky to be at a shower when she was told to be on total bed rest?

If it was me, I'd be too afraid to leave my bed...

Re: UPDATED!! I dont know where else to post this ......(if you get upset easily dont read this)

Was that shower at Villa Monaco's? If so, that is my cousin Noel.