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iwed2005
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1389 total posts
Name:
Julie
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Nothing to be jealous of. I never grew up with designer clothes and still find myself avoiding them cause i don't see the rhyme or reason in paying $200 or more for a pair of jeans or sneakers. I also depend on the kindness of my co-workers who all have had kids in the past 6 months and are willing to even give me newborn diapers that they bought excessive of and anything else they feel i might need, just so that i don't spend the money.
Message edited 6/29/2006 8:54:32 AM.
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Posted 6/29/06 8:02 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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JRG71
*****************
Member since 5/05 5025 total posts
Name:
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
 - DD will never know the difference.
My mother tells me all the time that I don't know how much I didn't have....
I'm sure it hurts to see other's get the best of everything but it's not like that for everyone.
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| Posted 6/29/06 8:12 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Shana, all that your beautiful little girl cares about is how much mommy cares for and loves her, not what clothes she wears or what stroller she's riding around in. I know it's hard, but try to remember that those things don't matter and the people (outside this board) who TRY to MAKE it matter are doing so because there is so much more lacking in their lives!
Let me just add, I grew up in a home in Great Neck where my parents certainly could have afforded to give me everything I wanted. But they didn't. They never bought me designer clothes, or the fancy car. It was a little tough, especially growing up in Great Neck, but you know what? That's what made me what I am today as compared to all my snotty classmates whose parents bought them everything they ever wanted. You're teaching you're daughter a lesson more valuable than you could ever imagine...
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| Posted 6/29/06 8:44 AM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Yes, I say the same as everyone else does! I only have the expensive stroller because my in laws wanted to buy it for me! Everything else I have for Noah comes from the states where everything is like half price for me!!! Old NAvy and Vertbaudet in France when they have a sale...
Just love your daughter and she will love you back! Thats all that matters!!!
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| Posted 6/29/06 8:47 AM |
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AndreaLMT
:)
Member since 5/05 6856 total posts
Name:
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Shana...You ROCK as a Mom!!! 
You are doing a terrific job with your DD!!!
Most of Alex's clothes were given as gifts or are hand-me-downs form her cousin. Her high chair is a hand-me-down, as well as her Britax carseat. I am very thankful to have such generous friends that like to buy "little girl gifts", b/c now that I am no longer working F/T, I cannot but her these things myself.
Your daughter is happy, healthy, has two loving parents...thats everything she needs!
(and she's adorable to boot! ;)
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| Posted 6/29/06 8:55 AM |
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Nancy
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 906 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Don't worry. I've felt that way too. I just came up with the I don't care attitude! Many times I've seen people feel like they need to get a higher end model of something for it to be the safest or most convienent, but I don't believe that's true, one bit. It's hard, I agree. I buy almost everything on sale/clearance or at a garage sale or on Ebay!
You are not alone, one bit. I'm a cheapskate all the way! I have to be, being a SAHM of two kids (or should I include DH as the third  )
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| Posted 6/29/06 8:58 AM |
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NoStressMom
My Heart and Soul
Member since 5/05 11122 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Oh Shana don't even think of the name brand stuff!! Your Daughter is so beautiful and such a good baby. those are the things you want to focus on. I don't even have kids yet and already I have my parents basement filled wiith baby stuff because I know when the time is right for Jeff and I that I will not have allot of money for that stuff so If I can get it for next to nothing I will glady take it. Now lets see some new pictures of her!!!
Denise
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| Posted 6/29/06 9:06 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Posted by Jamie
Shana,
I have felt like that too! We like living debt free and I don't buy coach handbags or prada whatever-it's not me. Sometimes I get jealous about it but in the end if I spent $300 on a pocketbook and it got dirty I would lose it.
As for my daughter other than her christening gown I have never bought this child an expensive outfit- I refuse- not for something that she will wear a handful of times and out grow faster then my cat sheds! Her Easter outfit in the picture in my name for example I got a TON of compliments on it and it cost $21.95- it was a 4 piece outfit and that was it. I am a big Syms shopper for her. Who would have thought. There was another dress we had picked out for her birthday it was $45 in JcPenny's well Syms had it for $14.95- same dress same company EVERYTHING. I just won't do it. We do not have a britax car seat, I wish we did because mine is PITA but it did fine in the safety ratings and it was affordable for us and we were able to get 2 one for each car.
We own our home- we paid for it on our own, no help. Our house is 34 years old and it needs work, but we are doing it over time! I am not thrilled with how the house looks right now but we are doing it slowly without accumualting debt and we are proud that we are doing it on our own!
Don't feel like that- you are doing what is best for Ali and you know all Ali needs is for you to love her and teach her right from wrong and for you and your DH to help her to develop into a wonderful lady- all the rest doesn't mean Diddly!
Sorry for the ramble!
ETA because my rambling didn't make any sense- not it makes a little sense 
It does make sense and I feel as if I could have written this! DH and I waited 6 LONG years to TTC because we wanted to be financially and emotionally ready.
Two of those years were spent getting out of $40K worth of debt on our own, then we bought our home. DH is a penny pincher and I am not. I would LOVE a to buy designer stuff, but for me right now it is not an option. I go to outlet stores and have gotten GREAT deals. Also, I feel that I can pair up a shirt from Target with pants from Banana Republic or Ann Taylor and still look great! It is all about a sense of style. When I was at FIT we would go to thrift stores, buy old stuff cut it up, add stuff to it, and sow on different buttons or what have you. My friends & I looked great and the whole outfit would cost like $5. I wish I had the time to still do that kind of stuff, but now I don't.
Gracie has a TON of second hand clothes from a friend of mine. Some still had the tags on them and were never worn. When a baby is going to $hit and pee all over something I will not spend $50 on a outfit for her. Plus, we have gotton a ton of clothes as gifts and i am so thankful for that.
Also, read the "millionaire next door" it is a wonderful book. DH bought it for me in the hopes that I would change my "keep up with the Joneses" ways. That book changed my life and now although I do LOVE designer things (who doesn't), I realize that most millionaires do not play the keep up with the Joneses game. We chose to eject ourselves from the rat race and are much happier. If another mom looks down on me because I don' t have a MacClaren or Britax, in my head I say at least when I am 65 we can retire comfortably and my Dh won't have to work until he drops dead. Plus, once we do have the extra $$ I know Dh will treat me to a few nice/designer things. 
Message edited 6/29/2006 9:22:57 AM.
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| Posted 6/29/06 9:09 AM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Shana, you are a great mom and provider for Aly.
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| Posted 6/29/06 9:23 AM |
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jcndd
The man of my dreams...
Member since 5/05 1706 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
you are doing a great job! Who cares about brand names?? Or where it came from? She's well taken care of and happy and those are the most important things.
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| Posted 6/29/06 9:28 AM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Don't feel that way at all! My parents got divorced when i was younger and we were flat out broke. My mom only had the the house and went back to work as a nurse and back to school on Saturdays. I remember the days when our babysitter would bring us food to eat for dinner or the time that I was at school and i was wearing the same shorts that another little boy was wearing (I was wearing my brothers hand me downs). Believe it or not...these times made me such a better person today and I will be such a better mom because of it. I am a great saver and don't blow my money on designer handbags or clothes. Me and DH brought our house when we were 25.
You daughter will only remember the love and care she got from you and DH, not what she wore or the stroller she had. TRUST ME!!
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| Posted 6/29/06 9:59 AM |
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stayandjohn
Our life is complete
Member since 5/05 5909 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
As long as your DD has food, a home and clothes, despite where they come from, thats all that matters. So you dont have a britax big deal, your daughter is still safe driving around in the car seat you do have. You do for her what you can, not what you think people expect you to do. More expensive doesnt mean better.
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| Posted 6/29/06 10:00 AM |
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paulandles912
My children are a blessing!
Member since 5/05 2598 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
I agree with everyone -- you are a wonderful mom and she's a lucky little baby and it doesn't matter about the material stuff.
I used hand-me-downs from my SIL for everything Andrew used in his first year. The first thing I bought was a Maclaren stroller when he turned 1 and I bought a discontinued model on sale off of the Internet with a coupon! And I just bought Andrew 4 pairs of shorts and 3 shirts from childrensplace.com for $23!! As long as he's clothed and clean and neat looking I don't mind.
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| Posted 6/29/06 10:04 AM |
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dee7772
My Loves
Member since 5/05 4852 total posts
Name:
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Posted by jcndd
you are doing a great job! Who cares about brand names?? Or where it came from? She's well taken care of and happy and those are the most important things.
I couldn't agree more. You are a great mom.
I shop all the time at garage sales for things for Jake. Plus I have gotton a ton of 2nd hand clothes from my sister. I look at my SIL and see her spend all this $$ on her son and soon to be daughter and I think she is crazy. I would much rather put that $$ into a college fund for Jake than see him walking around in desginer jeans.
You are a wonderful and very smart mom!
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| Posted 6/29/06 10:23 AM |
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lmb03
Stop kissing me!
Member since 5/05 2636 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Shana - I am sorry you are feeling this way.
As all the other moms have said, you are a good mom and it doens't mattter what you buy your daughter. She will love you for all the love and support you give her.
DD has many hand-me-downs from my DH's cousin who had 3 girls. I welcome it all!
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| Posted 6/29/06 11:37 AM |
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pugmama
April already?
Member since 3/06 5297 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Even though there were tons of responses I felt I had to respond to. My dh and I make less together than alot of people make with one salary. DD is in fulltime daycare and I wont go into all the issues with that (New Topic will be posted later!)
We even left ny and lived in North Carolina for awhile because it is so expensive to live here but we came back to be closer to family. We feel that is the most important thing we can give to our daughter right now to be close to the family that loves her.
We budget and scrimp and save and do the best we can. I dont think brands matter at all....except when it comes to safety. I bought my dds whole nursery furniture from ebay and her changing table from st.vincent de paul. I could have spent the money at BRU or somewhere but I felt that the money would be better spent down the road when she can pick out what she likes.
I have gotten alot of Sydneys toys from freecycle, craigslist, and neighbors. I only shop with coupons and when things are on sale. I borrowed the infant seats from my sil. I knew I wanted the britax carseat because it goes from 0-65 pounds. I bought the carseat months in advance at a clearance sale and then stressed that it wouldnt fit in my car and I wouldnt be able to return it.
I think it is important to remember that we all want what is best for our children but that some of us have different ways of providing this to them. You know in your heart that you are trying your best and that you are a good mom and try not to get caught up in the comparisons. I may not compare with material things but I do with other aspects and I try very hard not to. When people see my 6 month old and think she is 1 year old I get upset that I never had a teeny tiny little one like some others do but I have to just remember that I have a healthy and happy little girl who I love to pieces.
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| Posted 6/29/06 11:55 AM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Everyone's financial situation is different. We all spend and save differently. I find it hard with my home with keeping up with "the jones". When my parents want to do something in their home, they just do it. We have to wait, save, figure out if it is really worth the cost etc...So I find it difficult that my kitchen doesn't have the oven I want or that I hate my rug in the bedroom. KWIM?
I feel that Molly has what she needs and honestly, what does a 2-3 year old REALLY need? What do my husband and I REALLY NEED. When we read about what the orphanage our son will be at needs.and the way that the majority of people in that country live..that gives you a really big prespective. They NEED cough medicine, band-aids, toothbrushes. Some of the child need pencils and crayons. I venture to say that none of our children will ever be without those things. They have 4 children and 2 adults in ONE room..and I complain that my 20x24 Living Room is running out of space..makes me feel so dam crazy sometimes. We may not all have a pair of $900 shoes, but we all have shoes. That helps me now a lot..to keep in mind that my child has a doctor if she is sick and most children in the World don't. Their moms have to just hold them while they cry and pray that they get better soon. So no matter what, my child is still VERY blessed.
When it comes to Molly I do have a Britax but I used the coupons and one was a shower gift. I do NOT have the stroller I really wanted- while it is a nutso SilverCross Pram- I still could NEVER justify it or afford it at all. Well those dam celebs have them..and get them for FREE. That drives me nuts to be honest. But so be it.I just can't afford one and accept that.
I don't spend millions of her clothes. Only a few of her special outfits were costly at all and she gets some as gifts from grandma. My parents buy her clothes every season- because they love to. That saves me money and I can spend it on other things sometimes. They paid for 1/2 of her playhouse outside. If they didn't we would not have gotten one most likely. So I can't say I keep up with anyone or not, but I do know that my child is happy and healthy and a $80 pair of shoes will not change that either way.
Message edited 6/29/2006 12:05:45 PM.
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| Posted 6/29/06 12:02 PM |
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iffer042373
5 weeks till I'm a big sister
Member since 5/05 2642 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
My FH and I are going through a finacial struggle right now as well being that we are getting married this year. He just got laid off so that doesn't help us. It couldn't come at a worse time.
I totally know how you feel listen if it wasn't for my baby shower I wouldn't have half the things I have. Alot of my DD clothes are bought from aqueduct flea market. I do buy her things from children's place but only when they have big sales and I have gift certificates and things like that. I work and so does DH and I wish I could afford to SAH but I can't we live in an apartment. I feel llike I am not being a good mommy caus my DD doesn't have a backyard to play in. There is something that we all wish we could do or have. That doesn't make you a bad mommy.
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| Posted 6/29/06 1:31 PM |
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aidamarie
My Precious Angel
Member since 9/05 1093 total posts
Name:
Aidamarie
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Having expensive things doesnt make you a better mommy!!!!!!!! Don't be so hard on yourself. We couldnt afford any of those items either. These are the things my daughter has 2nd hand from her cousin.....
Crib
Changing Table
Dresser
Glider & ottoman
Bath tub
Toys
Receiving blankets
We couldnt afford to buy any furniture for our little girl, luckily SIL offered us her daughters nursery furniture. And thankfully everyone was very generous for my shower, otherwise we wouldnt have been able to afford 1/4 of the things we have. Your little angel will love you know matter what!!!!!!
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| Posted 6/29/06 1:59 PM |
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Selden78
I lvoe the fall :)
Member since 6/06 3543 total posts
Name:
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
you guys are homeowners. That is a huge leap. Anyone these days can keep up with the Jones, just how much cc debt are they holding though?
that is so true, a girl at my job just got some new car and one of the guys ( who is highter on the chian) siad I can not even afford that car
And I said well you dont know how much in debt she is now do you....
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| Posted 6/29/06 2:06 PM |
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Giannas-mama
Happy Birthday baby girl!!
Member since 5/05 1663 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
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| Posted 6/29/06 2:23 PM |
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
Posted by aidamarie
Having expensive things doesnt make you a better mommy!!!!!!!!
I think that about sums it all up! I am not a mom yet but I just wanted to tell you that name brands dont matter! You daughter is safe, well cared for, fed, and loved and thats all that matters!
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| Posted 6/29/06 2:38 PM |
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MM2004
...
Member since 5/05 1854 total posts
Name:
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Re: *sigh* ok...Why I posted what I did earlier...
I feel the same way sometimes but I just try to remember its not the fancy clothes and toys that Kevin will remember when he grows up, its the love and care that we all give to our children that will last far longer and have more of an impact on their lives then their clothes and toys ever will.
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| Posted 6/29/06 3:27 PM |
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