Re: Starting a Family?

I have to say... I have this debate with myself CONSTANTLY. Should I have a child, when I cannot devote 100% of my time to them?

I have always worked 2 to 3 jobs. I recently quit, and I am down to ONE job. However, I decided to go back to school (I never did college to begin with). Although I should really wait until I am done with school to have a child, I would then be 35..which can bring on even more fertillity issues, so we have decided to go ahead, and try to start our family anyway.

I am going to school so that eventually I CAN be home more for my children, make more money/work less hours...or at least not the typical 9-5 M-F , which is the same that my DH works.

There really is no perfect time to have a child, but I think if you and DH can agree (MY DH REALLY wants to do this) then you will work it all out. There needs to be a support system in place. We decided to stay on Long Island to be near his family, which I do think will help us a lot with a child. His mom is looking forward to retireing VERY soon, and would love nothing more than to take care of a grandchild.

Is it all perfectly Ideal for a child....NO! Would I like to be home more with my child...YES. Unfortunetely in today's economy, and the careers my DH and I have chosen, it is just not feasable.

I wish you the best of luck with your decisions...but I do think you and DH have to be on the same page, because it will be a struggle...financially, emotionally, physically. You MUST have that mutual support.I hope it all works the way you want it too!

Re: Starting a Family?

Posted by lulugrrl

I have to say... I have this debate with myself CONSTANTLY. Should I have a child, when I cannot devote 100% of my time to them?

I have always worked 2 to 3 jobs. I recently quit, and I am down to ONE job. However, I decided to go back to school (I never did college to begin with). Although I should really wait until I am done with school to have a child, I would then be 35..which can bring on even more fertillity issues, so we have decided to go ahead, and try to start our family anyway.

I am going to school so that eventually I CAN be home more for my children, make more money/work less hours...or at least not the typical 9-5 M-F , which is the same that my DH works.

There really is no perfect time to have a child, but I think if you and DH can agree (MY DH REALLY wants to do this) then you will work it all out. There needs to be a support system in place. We decided to stay on Long Island to be near his family, which I do think will help us a lot with a child. His mom is looking forward to retireing VERY soon, and would love nothing more than to take care of a grandchild.

Is it all perfectly Ideal for a child....NO! Would I like to be home more with my child...YES. Unfortunetely in today's economy, and the careers my DH and I have chosen, it is just not feasable.

I wish you the best of luck with your decisions...but I do think you and DH have to be on the same page, because it will be a struggle...financially, emotionally, physically. You MUST have that mutual support.I hope it all works the way you want it too!

Re: Starting a Family?

Posted by Blu-ize

Posted by lulugrrl

I have to say... I have this debate with myself CONSTANTLY. Should I have a child, when I cannot devote 100% of my time to them?

I have always worked 2 to 3 jobs. I recently quit, and I am down to ONE job. However, I decided to go back to school (I never did college to begin with). Although I should really wait until I am done with school to have a child, I would then be 35..which can bring on even more fertillity issues, so we have decided to go ahead, and try to start our family anyway.

I am going to school so that eventually I CAN be home more for my children, make more money/work less hours...or at least not the typical 9-5 M-F , which is the same that my DH works.

There really is no perfect time to have a child, but I think if you and DH can agree (MY DH REALLY wants to do this) then you will work it all out. There needs to be a support system in place. We decided to stay on Long Island to be near his family, which I do think will help us a lot with a child. His mom is looking forward to retireing VERY soon, and would love nothing more than to take care of a grandchild.

Is it all perfectly Ideal for a child....NO! Would I like to be home more with my child...YES. Unfortunetely in today's economy, and the careers my DH and I have chosen, it is just not feasable.

I wish you the best of luck with your decisions...but I do think you and DH have to be on the same page, because it will be a struggle...financially, emotionally, physically. You MUST have that mutual support.I hope it all works the way you want it too!

thanks for posting. I agree with everything. I finally got him to see that we will have to use day care. We don't have a support system. We have no family that can help us. It will be up to us and paid care takers. Is that a reason not to have a kid? I don't know. It will be very stressful I'm sure.

I don't feel that I get enough help from him around the house now I can only imagine with a child.

Still talking about it. His biggest concern is money. He told me that I would have to stop getting my nails done . How about him going drinking with the boys? I think he's stalling and throwing up financial brick walls. He scared and so am I.

Re: Starting a Family?

My child will definetely have to go into day care also, there are no if and or butts about it. Our ducks are lined up as best as we can get them, a perfect situation it is not, but we will do our best. Really, that is all any of us can do. It's all VERY scary. To be responsible for another's life....what could be bigger than that?