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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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how many of you would be upset or not? go to page 2 and read letter what do you think
Our 1 yr anniversary is april 22 of this year, DH and I had planned to go away for our anniversary. DH's sister lives in FL and DH's nephew is making his communion, now she got to choose the dates- april 23 and 2 dates in May, we told her that we would be away the weekend of april 23 - its our anniversary, well she kept going on and on about how oh how great you guys can come here on your anniversary I will have a cake for you- Hello- we have our anniversary cake that I was going to bring on vacation with us ( was going to pack it in one of those insulated bags and put in fridge as soon as we got to our destination, anyway so I tell her dont choose that date- well she DID- so now our plans got ruined and now Im running into problems with going somewhere else to be back by that sat before the communion and now with the days DH can take off of work for more days! I am soooo ****** right now, so I tell her and shes like oh theres lots to do in florida- we dont want to stay in florida for our anniversary, she just doesnt get it, we were planning costa rica or a cruise - cant do EITHER- costa rica doesnt have hotel rooms for days around that and to fly back and forth for just that weekend is a PIA- costa rica to tampa- AND the cruises we were looking at the next dates either come back on that sunday of the communion or its too late and DH cant take those days off too.
would you be mad? We have been to florida many times and wanted something different for our anniversary. Do you have any suggestions? and we HAVE to go to the communion.
Message edited 2/9/2006 12:20:02 PM.
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Posted 2/9/06 9:13 AM  |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
I would be a little mad yes. I know that DH's family tries to always plan things( theres a million kids) around b-days, anniversaries etc so they dont coincide, and I love that about them.
I have no suggestions, to be honest, if it were us, I wouldnt go to the communion.
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:15 AM |
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jms100303
Luv my munchkins
Member since 5/05 4789 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
I wouldn't be mad, because I wouldn't be going to the communion. You already had plans and I wouldn't change them. End of story!
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:17 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by dm24angel
I would be a little mad yes. I know that DH's family tries to always plan things( theres a million kids) around b-days, anniversaries etc so they dont coincide, and I love that about them.
I have no suggestions, to be honest, if it were us, I wouldnt go to the communion.
I agree.
You told her about your anniversary plans in advance, and while she doesn't have to chose the communion date according to you- she can't expect you to be there, either.
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:17 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Would I be mad? No. Because no way would I cancel my anniversary plans for my nephew's communion. That might sound selfish but, you gave her a chance to plan around it.
The mistake you made was giving her too many options. You should have just told her "well, don't do it the weekend of the 23rd because we won't be able to make it". And then if she did it anyway, you can just tell her "sorry, I told you we couldn't make that weekend"
You should STILL do that, IMO.
Is this your first wedding anniversary? I'm guessing it is since you still have your cake! 
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:18 AM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
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The cure IS worse!
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Where in FL are they?
Reason I ask is because there are qite a few ports that have 5 days cruises that leave durnig the week.
be sure to check Tampa, Port Canaveral, Port Everglades and Miami.
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:20 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by BabyAvocado
Would I be mad? No. Because no way would I cancel my anniversary plans for my nephew's communion. That might sound selfish but, you gave her a chance to plan around it.
The mistake you made was giving her too many options. You should have just told her "well, don't do it the weekend of the 23rd because we won't be able to make it". And then if she did it anyway, you can just tell her "sorry, I told you we couldn't make that weekend"
You should STILL do that, IMO.
Is this your first wedding anniversary? I'm guessing it is since you still have your cake!
I agree. However, if you feel that doing this would cause WWIII in your family, what about taking a cruise that leaves from Florida? Just go to the communion and leave the next day. just a suggestion.
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:20 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by jms100303
I wouldn't be mad, because I wouldn't be going to the communion. You already had plans and I wouldn't change them. End of story!
Same here
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:22 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by BabyAvocado
Would I be mad? No. Because no way would I cancel my anniversary plans for my nephew's communion. That might sound selfish but, you gave her a chance to plan around it.
The mistake you made was giving her too many options. You should have just told her "well, don't do it the weekend of the 23rd because we won't be able to make it". And then if she did it anyway, you can just tell her "sorry, I told you we couldn't make that weekend"
You should STILL do that, IMO.
Is this your first wedding anniversary? I'm guessing it is since you still have your cake!
Yes its our first wedding anniversary, let me tell you she gave me grief during the planning of the wedding and I feel like this is dejavu. Like I want to have my anniversary cake at her house with her, her husband 2 kids and his dad- this isnt a freakin birthday!!!!! I dont know what to do. We are stuck, I want to so bad tell her cant make it sorry but now heres the other problem- DH aunt is expecting to go ( fly) with us- this is such a freakin mess- which I just found out too yesterday and I said really well we arent coming back right away- I told you we had plans for our anniversary and she was quiet, so this is becoming more and more of a problem and I think Im going to get blamed for this somehow.
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:23 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by DebG
Where in FL are they?
Reason I ask is because there are qite a few ports that have 5 days cruises that leave durnig the week.
be sure to check Tampa, Port Canaveral, Port Everglades and Miami.
Tampa, Im even willing to drive to port canaveral, I am searching my heart out now on expedia to see, but what gets me upset is that now we have to change and hurry up, and had our hearts set on costa rica.
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:25 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by girlygrl33
Yes its our first wedding anniversary, let me tell you she gave me grief during the planning of the wedding and I feel like this is dejavu. Like I want to have my anniversary cake at her house with her, her husband 2 kids and his dad- this isnt a freakin birthday!!!!! I dont know what to do. We are stuck, I want to so bad tell her cant make it sorry but now heres the other problem- DH aunt is expecting to go ( fly) with us- this is such a freakin mess- which I just found out too yesterday and I said really well we arent coming back right away- I told you we had plans for our anniversary and she was quiet, so this is becoming more and more of a problem and I think Im going to get blamed for this somehow.
Not for nothing, but what does your DHs aunt have to do with your anniversary? You need to do one of two things:
1. Either you are going to the communion and you will deal with celebrating your anniversary there, however you can work it out.
OR
2. You are celebrating your anniversary. Period.
If you choose option 2, aunts, uncles, neices, nephews, 2nd cousins -- NO ONE else figures into the equation but you and your DH. Forget the communion, forget your SIL, forget the aunt. You guys plan what you want to do (cruise, trip, whatever) and don't worry about anyone else. Your first anniversary is a VERY good excuse to do that. You guys deserve to celebrate it the way YOU want to. 
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:29 AM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
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The cure IS worse!
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
A few I found:
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Thu Apr 27 Key West, FL 10:00am 6:00pm
Fri Apr 28 Miami, FL 9:00am
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:31 AM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Is DH his godfather? If not, I wouldn't go to the communion. They live in FL , so it isn't reasonble to expect that you would go anyway.
I went to a wedidng the weekend of my 1st anniversary, but it was local & we left the next mornign to go away for teh weekend. We didn't take a bigger trip b/c we had gone away a few motnsh earlier.
If I didn't know about the wedding over a year in advance, I may have made plans & then just skipped the wedding.
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:31 AM |
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mommy2Alex
3 babies for me :)
Member since 5/05 6683 total posts
Name:
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by jms100303
I wouldn't be mad, because I wouldn't be going to the communion. You already had plans and I wouldn't change them. End of story!
Same here
I agree, do what you want to do. You already told her not to pick that weekend and to me it seems like she did on spite. I would never do that to my family or friend. If someone asked me not to pick a specific date for a good reason, and a 1st anniversary is big, I would try my hardest to accomodate. If there was no way around it, then I would make sure the person knew I wouldn't be made if they were unable to make it. 
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:36 AM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
I agree, you have every reason to be upset with your SIL. Although, only because you aready told her you had vacation plans.
I am a little different though because DH and I are extremely family oriented. To the point that we got married over Thanksgiving weekend knowing that we would be able to spend every anniversary with our family. Strange, right? 
This past Thanksgiving was our 1st anniversary. My parents had stored our wedding cake top in their freezer for the year. We spent Thanksgiving in Baltimore so my mom brought the cake to Baltimore with them. We kept it in my Aunt's freezer while we were there. Our anniversary fell on Sunday, so we let it defrost on the ride home then enjoyed it ourselves that night.
If it is the vacation that is bothering you then don't cancel. Your anniversary is your anniversary regarless of where you are or who you are with. It is the 2 of you that will make that special.
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:38 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by girlygrl33
Yes its our first wedding anniversary, let me tell you she gave me grief during the planning of the wedding and I feel like this is dejavu. Like I want to have my anniversary cake at her house with her, her husband 2 kids and his dad- this isnt a freakin birthday!!!!! I dont know what to do. We are stuck, I want to so bad tell her cant make it sorry but now heres the other problem- DH aunt is expecting to go ( fly) with us- this is such a freakin mess- which I just found out too yesterday and I said really well we arent coming back right away- I told you we had plans for our anniversary and she was quiet, so this is becoming more and more of a problem and I think Im going to get blamed for this somehow.
Not for nothing, but what does your DHs aunt have to do with your anniversary? You need to do one of two things:
1. Either you are going to the communion and you will deal with celebrating your anniversary there, however you can work it out.
OR
2. You are celebrating your anniversary. Period.
If you choose option 2, aunts, uncles, neices, nephews, 2nd cousins -- NO ONE else figures into the equation but you and your DH. Forget the communion, forget your SIL, forget the aunt. You guys plan what you want to do (cruise, trip, whatever) and don't worry about anyone else. Your first anniversary is a VERY good excuse to do that. You guys deserve to celebrate it the way YOU want to.
Thank you so much, I know, I think I will be starting WWIII if we dont go, and she KNEW we had plans I just havent booked it yet I figured I had time. As far as his aunt is concerned, I think its my SIL who is making an issue of this. She is a strong woman and I know her husband will go with her! She isnt gonna fly by herself! So why does she have to fly with us? See how messed up this is, and his aunt never said anything to us its all coming from my SIL.
This is what I am going to do, cause now its not about my SIL , I feel bad for DH's nephew cause he cried when they were here for our wedding that he didnt want to go back to florida and wants to stay here, so I dont want to take that away from him by not going BUT what I am going to do is set it up where we come back that sat, go to the communion that sunday and fly home monday- I hope I can find something that will work with the dates I have to work with- Im running into a problem as we speak where its NOT working out!
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:38 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Well if it's going to start WWIII then I guess you have to make the compromise... it just sounds like she's setting you guys up and that irks me. Especially with the aunt thing.
Well, I hope you can find something that works so you can enjoy your anniversary!!
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:41 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by tourist
Is DH his godfather? If not, I wouldn't go to the communion. They live in FL , so it isn't reasonble to expect that you would go anyway.
I went to a wedidng the weekend of my 1st anniversary, but it was local & we left the next mornign to go away for teh weekend. We didn't take a bigger trip b/c we had gone away a few motnsh earlier.
If I didn't know about the wedding over a year in advance, I may have made plans & then just skipped the wedding.
Nope hes not the godfather and boy that was an issue , so Ive heard I wasnt with DH at the time, he was suppose to be but her IL's got involved and 'made' her choose her son- ok whatever. so DH is the godfather of their daughter.
We are very family oriented BUT when it comes to US and our anniversary and vacation we wanted it to be just us especially since he works 6- or 7 day work weeks, they alt every sunday so we dont spend much time together, so we were looking forward to this. And he works so damn hard too you know.
Deb thanks, I will look into those, I dont think DH wanted to go there, he wanted something more exotic but I will def pass it on to him, thank you!!!
thanks girls for all of your suggestions and for listening, I really appreciate it!!!
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:46 AM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
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The cure IS worse!
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by girlygrl33
Deb thanks, I will look into those, I dont think DH wanted to go there, he wanted something more exotic but I will def pass it on to him, thank you!!
Those are for the week after...But please know that when we went on our cruise we got on during a saturday afternoon and did 7 days and got off again on a Sat morning...perhaps you can look at the week before as well.
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:49 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by BabyAvocado
Well if it's going to start WWIII then I guess you have to make the compromise... it just sounds like she's setting you guys up and that irks me. Especially with the aunt thing.
Well, I hope you can find something that works so you can enjoy your anniversary!!
oh yea I totally think she is, she is so strange, I was just there by myself to visit her cause NO ONE in the family visits her unless they are at disney or ANY of her friends so I took some days off and went and spent 5 days with her and just tagged along, you know, I had a great time.
while planning the wedding well as I said before she gave us grief BIGTIME like telling us we HAVE to have her husband in the BP, that I shouldnt do this or that, and Im doing things wrong, yada yada, it was a constant fight b/t us but the 2 straws that broke the camels back were that SHE wanted to walk in their father in the reception we said no you are 1 of the maid of honors and my DH didnt want the running back and forth thing and her father was OK the whole time walking in by herself- SHE made it a big thing and then here was the other thing she wanted to stay over our house the night of the wedding and the weekend. we were like um hello we will be back at 11 am sat morning for the brunch we are hosting and we are NEWLYWEDS we really dont want family or anyone staying overnight in case we want to run around naked, LOl. no we didnt but you get what I mean.
so now I totally think this is another jab!!
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| Posted 2/9/06 9:52 AM |
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BCK1029
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 366 total posts
Name:
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
What a mess. If it where me I probably wouldn't go to the communion if I needed to change my plans to reveolve around 1 day.
What about going to Key West?
I hear the drive is beautiful. You could rent a convetible and drive down for a nice relaxing vacation....
PS - I went to Costa Rica on my honeymoon - it was terrific!!
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| Posted 2/9/06 11:16 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
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LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Honestly - I think you should NOT go to the communion. I am not saying that so you can be spiteful to you SIL and your DH's family, but your 1 year anniversary comes once and only once. Since you mentioned that your DH works alot of hours and you were planning on doing this, for some quality time as well, I think you should stick to your plan.
You said it is going to cause WWIII, if you don't go. Why? Cause 2 people that were invited, couldn't come. What if you couldn't come due to money reasons, would they still give you the same grief.
How does your DH feel about the whole issue?
Does he feel like it might break his family if you don't go?
I am a religious person, but not for nothing it is a communion, not a wedding.
Maybe write down your pros and cons and see where that takes you.
Also - do what is going to make you happy. Think 5 - 10 years down the road and think about when you look back on your 1st wedding anniversary (like I said before - only comes once) and see how you would feel about that day, week - what have you.
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| Posted 2/9/06 11:33 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by Marcie
Honestly - I think you should NOT go to the communion. I am not saying that so you can be spiteful to you SIL and your DH's family, but your 1 year anniversary comes once and only once. Since you mentioned that your DH works alot of hours and you were planning on doing this, for some quality time as well, I think you should stick to your plan.
You said it is going to cause WWIII, if you don't go. Why? Cause 2 people that were invited, couldn't come. What if you couldn't come due to money reasons, would they still give you the same grief.
How does your DH feel about the whole issue?
Does he feel like it might break his family if you don't go?
I am a religious person, but not for nothing it is a communion, not a wedding.
Maybe write down your pros and cons and see where that takes you.
Also - do what is going to make you happy. Think 5 - 10 years down the road and think about when you look back on your 1st wedding anniversary (like I said before - only comes once) and see how you would feel about that day, week - what have you.
Yea I should do the pros and cons and youre right it only comes ONCE.
DH is torn he doesnt know what to do, I am going to talk to him again tonigt when he gets home, I just hate giving him this drama crap when he comes home from a long 12 hour day and he just wants to relax, but it has to be done.
Oh WW3 cause his sister loves drama. and to stir the pot any which way she can. She is alone in florida except for thier dad and he IL's who give her grief so gossip is her forte.
wish me luck later 
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| Posted 2/9/06 11:47 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by girlygrl33
Oh WW3 cause his sister loves drama. and to stir the pot any which way she can. She is alone in florida except for thier dad and he IL's who give her grief so gossip is her forte.
wish me luck later
Part of the reason i think you should stick to your guns is that SIL has a history of getting away with causing drama for you. if you don't put your foot down, it will continue, and it may get worse later on, kwim?
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| Posted 2/9/06 11:50 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: how many of you would be upset or not?
Posted by girlygrl33
I just hate giving him this drama crap when he comes home from a long 12 hour day and he just wants to relax, but it has to be done.
This part here - is why I would stick my guns about not going. Sounds like he needs a vacation and going to a family party is not going to do it. I just don't want you regreting not going on a trip, cause you went to a communion instead.
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| Posted 2/9/06 12:04 PM |
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