DH is in deep dog doo-update on pg 2

I am furious with my DH. I feel like he went into some grey territory and I'm f'ing p!ssed.
We went to a b-day party at my "friend's" house on Saturday night. I was acomplete trooper and hung out until 2am. But then I wanted to leave; I'd had enough of watching everyone drink. So DH starts giving me a hard time saying that he doesn't want to leave. So my tenant chimes in, why should he have to leave just because I want to. So I got upset and told DH to stay then, but he knew I was angry and I feel that when you go somewhere together you should leave together.
So I went home at 2am. Woke up at 5am, no DH. Woke up at 6:15am, still no DH. So I said F it. I got up , got dressed and drove to said "friend's" house. So I walk in her front door and I see my tenet passed out on the chair and ottoman and my DH passed out on the couch with my "friend."
Needless to say, I was less than happy. I started hitting him and telling him to get up I was taking him home. He was still half drunk and wouldn't get up. But he opened his eyes long enough for me to hand him my e-ring and tell him I hoped it was worth it. And I left.
He wound up passing back out and not waking up until 11:30 and didn't come home until 1:00pm. He thinks I have a right to be mad, but he thinks I'm making a bigger deal out of it than necessary. Um hello, I would love to see him walk into someone's house and see his drunk wife passed out on the couch with some guy. I don't at all think that anything happened between the two of them, I just think that his actions were beyond innappropriate and he's broken my trust. As for my "friend" she better steer very clear of me, because as far as I'm concerned, no friend of mine would sleep anywhere near my husband.



ETS- update on page 2

Message edited 6/5/2006 7:50:47 PM.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

wow, I am not even sure what to say. I hope he realizes that his be3haviour is not OK, and that had the situation been reversed he would have had the same feeling.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

I would be just as upset as you. My DH and I still go out with friends but when I'm done, I'm done. Like you said, sometimes you are up to your limit in dealing with druck people while you are completely straight. I'm not sure I would be upset about your friend and him being passed out on the couch but I would sure as he!! be fuming that he got that drunk and needed to stay out all night. To me, that is a phase that he should be over now that he is going to be a dad.

Hope you feel better soon.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

Wow. That is inexcusable; I don't blame you for being mad. Hopefully he will get his act together soon now that the baby is coming.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

A similar situation happened to me. We were at a friend's house and everyone was drinking. We had a wedding the next day at 11am. Friends of ours were going to crash at our house. Well it was 3 am and I wanted to go home. Everyone said how good a trooper I was.
I was ready to leave him there and have him get a cab, but after I complained I was tired and wanted to go, he finally let in.
I told him on the way home, that next time please have some consideration for me. I cant stay up that long and especially with tiwns...Im exhausted, and we talked about it again in the morning because he was too drunk to have a serious conversayion.
Now when we go to friends houses, he always ask how I feel and when Im ready to go home to let him know.

I would have been ****** if DH did NOT come home with me. I would have a talk a serious talk with him about what had hapened, and see what he says.
Im sorry....I know how you feel.

Message edited 6/5/2006 10:04:24 AM.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

i'm sorry....I'd be pretty upset if it happened to me too

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

I think that you have every right to feel the way you do. sorry I can't offer a solution, but I can give you lots of

And you're right, she is a friend that you don't need to have. I say drop her as a friend immediately.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

I would be really angry too. What's wrong with your "friend?"

Lots of people get unreasonable after a couple of drinks. Maybe next time have a solid plan before you get there. i.e. we're staying until 1am at the latest, or 3 drinks and you're done. In a buzzed stuopr, it's a little easier to undertand "a deal's a deal."

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

Ok, I've been sitting here thinking about this. I would be extremely p-ssed off not only at your DH, but at your tenent, too. Who does this person think they are? I mean, you NEVER get involved in someone else's marriage. NEVER. For them to say something to you when you wanted to leave was SO ridiculously out of line it's not even funny. And as for your "friend", how dare she sit back and not have YOUR best interest at heart? F them all! I'm not saying your DH is not in the wrong here, I'm just looking at all the OTHER things wrong with the situation, as well. I think it's time to stop spending ANY time with your tenent and this "friend". If I recall, hasn't your tenent given you sh-t in the past, already? I would be gearing up right now to say something to HIM, as well.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

I am speechless. I would be just as angry as you are and you DH its nuts for thinking you are making a bigger deal out of it than it is. It's a huge deal.
You are pregnant and he needs to be there for you and support you now more than ever. Now isn't the time for getting drunk and staying out all night.
I am so sorry.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

I don't think your tenant should've chimed in with their 2 cents. It wasn't their place to do so.

I'd be POd too!!! DH should be more understanding that if you say your tired, then you're tired. No questions asked. He should say his good-byes and leave with you.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

Posted by monkeybride

I am speechless. I would be just as angry as you are and you DH its nuts for thinking you are making a bigger deal out of it than it is. It's a huge deal.
You are pregnant and he needs to be there for you and support you now more than ever. Now isn't the time for getting drunk and staying out all night.
I am so sorry.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

I am sorry you are dealing with this

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

Nicole I'm sorry you even have to deal with crap like this right now...

I cannot really say anything better than the ladies already have, just know that you have EVERY right to be upset, pizzed, etc, and I just hope that you can sit down with your Dh and resolve this to a point where this will NEVER happen again -

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

Posted by DebG

Posted by prncssrachel

Ok, I've been sitting here thinking about this. I would be extremely p-ssed off not only at your DH, but at your tenent, too. Who does this person think they are? I mean, you NEVER get involved in someone else's marriage. NEVER. For them to say something to you when you wanted to leave was SO ridiculously out of line it's not even funny. And as for your "friend", how dare she sit back and not have YOUR best interest at heart? F them all! I'm not saying your DH is not in the wrong here, I'm just looking at all the OTHER things wrong with the situation, as well. I think it's time to stop spending ANY time with your tenent and this "friend". If I recall, hasn't your tenent given you sh-t in the past, already? I would be gearing up right now to say something to HIM, as well.

I have to agree with EVERYTHING Rachel just wrote.
Your feelings are 100% justified and I would be just as ticked off as you are.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

wow- that ***** that you have to go through this. You are not overeacting in the slightest. You were nice enough to let him stay! I wouldnt have. I would kick his *** all over the place. THere better be flowers, candy's, jewlery, every and anything you want for a long time to make up for it. I dont even trust my friends especially when there is alcohol- your really nice.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

I will have to show this to my SIL- for the past three weekends my brother has been hanging out with his best friend and getting drunk every weekend. She has been the coolest pregnant woman too- letting him party when she can't. I would be so ******. She is ready to divorce him. I don't think they get it

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

My DH did this a few times when I was in my last few months of PG...it was like he was trying to squeeze all of this crazy 17 year old stuff in because his life would be over after the baby came...we had several pretty bad arguments over it and I actually stayed at my Dad's for a couple of days...

They just don't get it. My DH is incredible, really incredible, in a lot of ways...but he just didn't get how hurt I was when I could get in touch with him for like 6 hours one night because he was so drunk he passed out at a friend of a friend's house ...when I was 33 weeks...

I think that being passed out with a woman that is supposed to be a friend though crosses an even bigger line and you guys need to have a serious conversation about it. You are not hormonal and it's not because you are PG, this is wrong...



I hope he realizes it and starts grovelling...

Message edited 6/5/2006 1:40:22 PM.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

Unacceptable.

Thant would be hard for me to forgive.

Sleep on the darn floor if you are too drunk to get home. & my friend would be on my S-list...BIG TIME!!!

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

Posted by monkeybride

I am speechless. I would be just as angry as you are and you DH its nuts for thinking you are making a bigger deal out of it than it is. It's a huge deal.
You are pregnant and he needs to be there for you and support you now more than ever. Now isn't the time for getting drunk and staying out all night.
I am so sorry.

Re: DH is in deep dog doo

I am shocked that he was so self absorbed and that all of these friends were as well.
I would not stand for this treatment..good for you for standing up for herself and your baby. He is not in a frat...he is going to be a father. There is a difference and if he can't enjoy himself with getting trashed then he has some serious decisions to make.