are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I read an article last night entitled "Secrets to being a Happy Mom"...

So I was wondering - do you consider yourself a happy mom, and if so - what are your tricks to staying happy.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

Honestly, I am a happier mom because I work. Is there guilt, absolutely...last night my train was held up and I barely got an hour with Bella before she went to sleep, and I cried.
But I love my career, her daycare is awesome, and my DH is totally 50-50 with me in taking care of her...I am a better mommy for her because I would be miserable at home 24-7 not earning a paycheck to get her everything she wants and needs without a thought...that is what works for me.

ETA: So yes, I am happy...because her smile lights up the whole world and makes every little struggle worth it.

Message edited 5/2/2006 1:48:12 PM.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I'm a happy Mom. I always wanted to be a SAHM and I'm getting my wish. I feel lucky. It just feels right for me. I'm not saying that every minute is peaches and creme- but most of them are.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I think I am...

1 - I work - I only go into the office 3 days a week, but I feel like it's my time. I get mani/pedi's at lunch, I go shopping - and I contribute a lot $$$ wise.

2- I ask for help. I'm not always good at asking for it though.

3- I take care of myself. I get haircuts and go to the spa (occasionally). I still hang out with my friends. I try and have some semblance of me.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I think I am I work full time and enjoy the time I get to spend with my daughter I sometimes wish I could be a SAHM but I don't know if I would really be happy then yes becuz I would spend more time with my daughter but I am happy that I can contribute to the bills and I have money for extra things that I want to buy her as well as myself. I do keep up with myself I get my hair done and get some me time as well my FH helps out and works full time as well.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I think I'm definitely a happy mom.

I agree that working defintely helps. It makes me cherish the time I have with my kids. Also we're more apt to do things on the weekends for a "kids' day" like go to the Botanical Gardens, zoo, picnic etc so we can really celebrate our time off.

I take time at least once every other week to do something for me (photos). I think having time to do things for just yourself is extremely important. In the beginning, I felt guilty about taking time to get my hair colored.

I think it also helps that I had a mom who truly loved being a mom too. She lost her mom when she was 10, so she cherished being a mom - and always wants to be a mom to everyone else.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I'm starting to be one. I was incredibly stressed and on edge for many months. I found it hard to work FT and was resentful of DH who got to stay home with Andrew instead.

Now, like Barbara said, I cherish the time I have with him and try to make our weekends special.

I like having time to myself (napping on my commute) and having adult company while at work.

I enjoy motherhood more now b/c Andrew has a real personality and he just amazes me more each day with the things he's learning and doing.

I'd love to know what the secrets are from that article though!

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I think I am a happy mom because I work also. I only work 3 days a week but I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I get to get out of the house and be an adult, but I also have time to be with my daughter and do fun stuff with her.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I am. A big part of that is that I've maintained my own life and my own identity through work and my friendships, and through my relationship with DH. I love my daughter more than I could ever express, but I'm no good to her when I spend 24/7 with her. I need to feel as though I have my own interests that I'm pursuing and/or accomplishing and I get so much satisfaction out of my job. On top of that I have an absolutely amazing DH whose love and affection hasn't changed since Alex was born, and who contributes 50/50, if not more than I do. We always make sure to spend time together everyday, usually having dinner together at the dinner table after Alex has gone to sleep. And last, but not least, maintaining my friendships is what keeps me happy... I'd be lost without my friends.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I am very happy and I think partly it is because I waited for the right time for me to have a baby. DH and I just celebrated our 5 year anniversary, I got my masters last year, and I did a lot of the things I wanted to before starting a family. Now I am excited to share adventures with dd.
I also work full time at a job that I love. It is hard having such limited time with dd but I try to make the time we have quality time. My nutritional intake and house cleaning have taken a major hit do to this but something has to give. I do hire someone to clean once a month which I definitly recommend to anyone.
DH and I are also going on a vacation in two weeks to "catch up" with one another. (I think he feels a little neglected, if you KWIM) He also is a great dad and we do everything 50/50.
I know I'll be happier once dd is sleeping more and once I can get back to the gym more which I believe will come in time. Untill then I try and take things day by day and not take myself too seriously.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I definitely think I am a happy mom. I have my days were I feel a little loony but overall very happy. I am so thankful that I am a SAHM, it was always my dream to do so. Sometimes, I miss working and would like to be able to go for a day or so, but I wouldn't trade my time with DS for the world.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I dont think i am.

I'm honestly miserable being at home, without being able to contribute to my family moneywise.
it's really hard because although I get to be with her, i don't feel like I'm in the right frame of mind to really be the mom I wish I could be to her.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

Posted by JRG71

Posted by Aliasmom

I dont think i am.

I'm honestly miserable being at home, without being able to contribute to my family moneywise.
it's really hard because although I get to be with her, i don't feel like I'm in the right frame of mind to really be the mom I wish I could be to her.

I think being a SHAM is the hardest job there is.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I also work ft too and I was so surprised to see so many working moms on here who were happy. I don't know if I would be 100% happy either staying home. I love my kids but I do need my "me" time. The only "real me" time I get during the day is my lunch hour but I treasure it.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

Posted by Bxgell2

Posted by JRG71

Posted by Aliasmom

I dont think i am.

I'm honestly miserable being at home, without being able to contribute to my family moneywise.
it's really hard because although I get to be with her, i don't feel like I'm in the right frame of mind to really be the mom I wish I could be to her.

I think being a SHAM is the hardest job there is.

I agree whole-heartedly.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I try my best to take the time to relax when the opportunity is there. I usually do chores after Christopher goes to bed, but sometimes I'll skip them and take a nice warm bath. Plus, I try not to be stubborn. When I really need help (Like when I'm feeling under the weather), I'll ask my parents or my IL's to watch Christopher for a little while. They're almost always willing to help out.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

I think I would be happier if I was working...but then I would be miserable because I wouldn't have the same amount of time I have now with Jared. I am thankful I am a SAHM...

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

Posted by Aliasmom

Posted by Bxgell2

Posted by JRG71

Posted by Aliasmom

I dont think i am.

I'm honestly miserable being at home, without being able to contribute to my family moneywise.
it's really hard because although I get to be with her, i don't feel like I'm in the right frame of mind to really be the mom I wish I could be to her.

I think being a SHAM is the hardest job there is.

I agree whole-heartedly.

Thanks.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

Posted by steph4777

Posted by Aliasmom

I dont think i am.

I'm honestly miserable being at home, without being able to contribute to my family moneywise.
it's really hard because although I get to be with her, i don't feel like I'm in the right frame of mind to really be the mom I wish I could be to her.

I know exactly what you mean.

I love Nate more than words could say, but I was not happy being a SAHM. I've only been working 4 days and I am so much happier. I feel like I'm making a contribution to the well-being of my family and regaining my identity outside of being Nate's mom.

I've been feeling a little conflicted bc I get really emotional about going back to work. You hear so many moms crying and such, but I didn't go through that maybe it's bc DH is watching him so I'm not worried. I just feel a little overwhelmed with spending quality time with him and DH, while doing the household chores. Hopefully this weekend I'll get a little more organized. Any working moms have tips to share?

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

Working Mother Tricks...hmm..we have to change it up because I can't have them get used to one thing if we dont' have time for it.

1 - Never put the TV on in the morning. Yes, you wind up not dressing exactly right for the weather or not realizing why the train hasn't come because of a derailment, but my kids wont get wrapped up in watching a show.

2 - They don't get to play with toys in the morning. I need to make mornings as much fun as possible or the drop off is harder for them. Games I play to get them dressed & out of the house:
-who can get dressed the fastest (reward are whatever number of kisses the fastest dresser designates - the dresser has to count off for practice).
- I'll put shoes on first then socks.
- To put shoes on, the shoe monster "eats" their foot. I made this up because sometimes I'm twisting their shoe on their foot.
- Joseph puts his own shoes on in the morning. I put arrows inside the shoes that point toward each other when lined up correctly so he can distinguish which shoe is which.
- who can find Mommy's jacket
- they don't know what they get to eat for the day (at daycare) until they get in the car.I read them the menu after everyone is buckled.
- each day one gets to pick the song we listen to on the way to daycare.

3 - They get to pick one quick breakfast in the morning - but to have it they have to be fully dressed with shoes on. If they're not, they only get the one breakfast at daycare.

4 - They have to be in bed by 7:30-8pm in order to get up between 6am-6:30am.

5 - Laying clothes out the night before saves a lot of stress of finding a missing shoe in the am.
6 - Each child has a job when we get to school. Joseph has the code to the door ( I picked the last 4 digits of our phone number to help him remember it). Maddie (who can't reach the code box) is in charge of the door.

7 - Jackets come off as we enter the door to daycare. I drop them off in one classroom - and then drop their jackets off, collect artwork, etc so they aren't tempted to play in the classrooms.

8 - When giving a kiss goodbye, they each get an extra kiss on their palm. Then they put their hand to their cheek to "make sure it's working" & they can feel my kisses if they miss me. They both kiss one of my palms in case I miss them during the day, I can feel their kisses.

9 - They wave to me out the window as I drive away.

10 - I call during the day to check on them, so at night we can talk about school.

That's off the top of my head. I'll post more if I can think of them.

Message edited 5/2/2006 8:47:26 PM.

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?

Posted by My2Boys

Posted by nrthshgrl

8 - When giving a kiss goodbye, they each get an extra kiss on their palm. Then they put their hand to their cheek to "make sure it's working" & they can feel my kisses if they miss me. They both kiss one of my palms in case I miss them during the day, I can feel their kisses.

OK, this just made me . Too sweet!!

Re: are you a happy mom? what are your tricks?