Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG)

WOW! MOHzilla!

You handled it very well, probably better than a lot of people would have. Your friend, and the rest of the BP, is lucky to have you!

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG)

You handled yourself waaaaay better than I would have!!!! Does the MOH mistakenly think this is about her???????

You're right, don;t let her get to you

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG)

Posted by CAJ

Just copy and paste a copy of this and send it to Grandma....



Dear Grandma,

The b_icth MOH wants to get the bedding off of the registery, I kindly explained to her, what your intentions are regarding the purchase of the above listed item. However, they were disregarded by the MOH....So please get up right now and make your purchase...HURRY go NOW! So we can put this issue to rest....Hope all is well...Your Buddy, Jackie

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG)

you were not out of line AT ALL. dont let this upset you

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG)

Thanks so much ladies. You all made me feel so much better!

Still no response from the MOHzilla, but I'll keep you posted!

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG)

a moh who thinks a gift from the grandmother is not importnat enough to choose something else??? how horrible - if it was me and I had to deal with all this - I would have wanted to tell her where to go....you did great hon!

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG)

I am a MOH in July, brother's wedding.
I would never in my right mind send an email like she sent you guys!
I think you handled it great.
The wedding is in no way about me and dh (he's the best man), its about my brother and fsil.
Yes, we are having some ups and downs with the family (we too are doing 2 showers) waaay too long of a story and I dont want to hijack your thread.
Anyway, You were not out of line!
Like another poster said,
Tell her "To go scratch"..LOL my friend uses that line all the time!

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG)

Posted by CAJ

Just copy and paste a copy of this and send it to Grandma....



Dear Grandma,

The b_icth MOH wants to get the bedding off of the registery, I kindly explained to her, what your intentions are regarding the purchase of the above listed item. However, they were disregarded by the MOH....So please get up right now and make your purchase...HURRY go NOW! So we can put this issue to rest....Hope all is well...Your Buddy, Jackie

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG)

I JUST received this e-mail from the MOH. I feel better. I do understand where she's coming from, but also feel that she is somewhat self-centered and just bitter/sad that she hasn't had her own wedding to plan. And I STILL don't get her whole view on the grandmother, but whatever...

Jackie,
I definitely could have handled telling you how I felt better than writing a curt email so I apologize for that. I have been feeling like my toes are being squashed in all honesty. I am also very excited for Loren's wedding and I, too, LOVE the planning, but I feel like it's all being done without me (specifically, the dress fitting that was mentioned after it seemed like it had already been decided that you two were going together). I feel like you've been seen as the wedding consultant because you've been through it and I havent been taken nearly as seriously because I am not married and have not.
This is probably more of a personal thing and I apologize for taking it out on you. I'm not sure why the grandmother would have a gift she "always" gets for alll the family members that get married (you think she's EVER been on the computer for an online registry?? I certainly dont!) Anyway, gifts and showers aren't what it's all about and after I wrote the email yesterday, I realized how it came across and I didn't intend for it to sound like I dont appreciate being the MOH; I guess I just dont feel like it's being recognized and it IS such a honor but again, you're not the one to take it out on and I know you're just as excited about it all. Like I said, once I get back from this hell, let's talk about the arrangements.
I'm sincerely sorry.
J

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG) UPDATED pg2

well, that was nice (and pretty big!) of her to send the email. shows you weren't the only one thinking about it all....

it must be hard if she isn't married and wants to be - I see this with a few of my friends, and my sister, too!

glad to hear it worked out!!

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG) UPDATED pg2

Geez, I wish I had had a BP that cared this much about me!


I do think you handled yourself well Jackie, and you were not out of line at all. It seems like this MOH has come to her senses and can be reasoned with so I'm glad it seems to be working out. I don't get her view on the grandmother either!

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG) UPDATED pg2

she needs to let go of the bedding...let the grandmother get the gift that she normally gets. and i think you responded as best as you could.

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG) UPDATED pg2

that was nice of her to apologize to you but i agree i dont get it with her still about the gift. let the grandmother get the bedding does she have something against the grandmother?? just get something else and that is that!!

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG) UPDATED pg2

I was thinking about this and i have been in a few bridal parties. Is this girl her firend or sister? Does the bride have any sisters? For me i would never disrespect the grandmother nad buy the bedding. If the grandmother said she was going to buy it then she will. But i was involed in one we had a similar situation about gifts and i think its becasue the one BM didn't have any family and didn't understand if grandma is going to buy that then you don't. I am from a family where family is the more important then friends. But i do know a few people who care less about there family and don't understand that in some families family come first. I am not saying what she did at all was right and obviously you tried explaining it to her and she's not getting it. Maybe teh groom's cousin who is the other BM couild get the grandmother to go and buy the bedding now so then you have to get china.
Sorry if this was long and i hope I got what i was saying across.
I hate tension and conflict too, but in some bridal parties it just happens.

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG) UPDATED pg2

Posted by BabyAvocado

Geez, I wish I had had a BP that cared this much about me!


I do think you handled yourself well Jackie, and you were not out of line at all. It seems like this MOH has come to her senses and can be reasoned with so I'm glad it seems to be working out. I don't get her view on the grandmother either!

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG) UPDATED pg2

At the risk of sounding a bit patonizing, it sounds to me like she doesn't really understand how emotional people get about weddings, and how stressful it can be for the bride, since she hasn't gone through that.

Before I got married, I assumed our wedding was about us, hahahaha. Even though ours had very little drama involved, I was amazed at how easily people make it about them. So if grandma buys that gift for everyone who gets married, and you all went ahead and got it, even after the other BM recommended that you not do that, there would have been drama that is sooooo not worth it.

I think you were 100% right and glad to see that she was able to admit she was hurt and may have overreacted.

Re: Am I totally out of line? (REALLY LONG) UPDATED pg2

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by CAJ

Just copy and paste a copy of this and send it to Grandma....



Dear Grandma,

The b_icth MOH wants to get the bedding off of the registery, I kindly explained to her, what your intentions are regarding the purchase of the above listed item. However, they were disregarded by the MOH....So please get up right now and make your purchase...HURRY go NOW! So we can put this issue to rest....Hope all is well...Your Buddy, Jackie

I'm with you! Or better yet - call up the registry & TAKE it off. Then tell the cousin what you did so grandma can pick it up whenever she wants.