i need advice girls......i closed the poll thanks for all your help yet again!

On saterday night, i went out with briansbaby and her friends for a bday party. they had a limo and guess where they are going... turtle bay i was like ok they have a limo so i can't get left behind this time

Had an awesome time with everybody! it with out a doubt was the kinda night i tried for in a long time!

well here comes the hard part...

the limo driver asked me out for dinner yes i got asked out on a date i was like umm well we will have to see, i have alot going on.

eta: thank you for all your help in this! i think i will wait a little longer. i guess i you want you could say by my responces i was not ready. just wanted to make sure. i mean if i can do it in a few more months and as a double date thing maybe then, i need to keep myself on the house and camp starts next week! thanks again!

Message edited 6/19/2006 5:49:26 PM.

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

I couldn't do it to be honest with you ... Are you sure you are ready ?

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

I chose to say other...here's why...

I would only go out on the date if I was 100% ready to...only because if you don't really like the guy, it may be too much to deal with trying to blow him off...unless he knows your situation and is not interested in trying to get a lot more out of this date.

ETA...and I'm just trying to be honest with you...I would not be able to do it.

Message edited 6/19/2006 11:23:06 AM.

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

i wouldn't be able to so soon...

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

aww, I think that you are the only one that can answer that. Whatever decision you make, just make sure you are okay with it. The only advice I can give you is just take is slow and do what is best for you. Good luck

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

Here's my question back. Are you only interested in being friend with him? (I'm not just talking about now because I'm sure you're hesitant). If that's the case, I wouldn't accept dinner because he's probably not looking for friends.

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

Awww, Janet that is awesome to hear.

Should you go out on a date with him? That is totally up to you and how comfortable you are with it.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do!!!

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

ok i thought so. i am pretty sure i am not ready and i did not want to seem like a umm what's the word. he know that keith past almost 3 months ago but that is all i really talked about. so as to what he was thinking i was not too sure. he gave me his card and said to call him to let him know. i just did not know what to say i guess, i know i hated waiting for a phone call so i did not want to do that. i **** at saying things as you all know. so what can i say to him?

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

having been thru a similar situation with my Dad after losing my Mom- I can tell you that if you feel ready then you should go- if not then don't

there is no set amount of time- it's different for everyone

but I will add my Dad waited about 5 months after 32 years of marriage

his reasons for it was to make himself feel better, build up his confience, and he was bored

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

thanks for all the great HOnest answers!

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

i never posted this... but kryssy turned to me about a monthagao and said hey mom when are we getting married again i said what ... her reply well that is what people do when the get divorced or someone dies! i love her innocence of that but i was sooo blown out of the water

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

Awwwww....

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

i know people that have dated quite soon after and i also know other that have waitied.

i dont think we should deide this for you. in a poll..if you want to go, you should go, if you are not ready, i dont think I can the one that should be telling you.

its really up to you. i dont think anyone will judge you either way.

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

I agree that it is really for you to decide. If you would like a new friend, then I personally see nothing wrong with calling this guy and letting him know that right now you'd like to be friends. Whatever you decide will be right for you!

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

If you are ready to date then I think you should go for it, but be honest with him and tell him your situation and maybe tell him that you'd like to go realllly slow, as friends first and then see.

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

I think it must have been very flattering to be asked out but Janet, you are the only one that can make that decision.

you can go out but if you are not ready to date, make it clear so that he doesn't get any type of expectations.

good luck, always go with your heart.

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

thaks sweety, i guess you can say i am not all ready but yet is it out of getting hurt, or letting someone back in? or is it my heart still where it should be ,with keith. i am over welmed with alot right now, and did just enjoy the night out with briansbaby and friends. i am torn , i guess i will be saying thanks buit not right now. there is also a singel mingle that is being held at the aqurium on thursday(riverhead one) and i was thinking of that but did not want to go alone, it is all free i was just hopng to go and see what is out there but yet not get involed in anything they are planning on.

eta: i also don't like dating, to tell everyone the truth i never went out on a real date, i was always set up with friends right there, never alone. so if i do say yes but exsplain only as a friend thing, i would have to get someone to either go with me or just be there by accident, just incase

Message edited 6/19/2006 11:42:27 AM.

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

why not be completely honest w/ him and explain that you are flattered would enjoy going out to dinner but don't want to lead him on as you are still healing from the tragedy (holy run-on). i wouldn't dismiss him but at the same time you need to be honest w/ yourself and w/ him in re: to your situation and feelings.

eta: i just re-read your replies. being that he is aware of the situation i would reiterate that you are still mourning and coping and as long as he is understanding of the situation then you would be more than happy to have dinner w/ him.

IMO, i think it might be good for you to get out and meet people. i am not implying that you should date anyone or get involved in a relationship but at the same time it might aid in the healing process if you socialize w/ other men.

Message edited 6/19/2006 12:42:01 PM.

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

ty all!

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......

Janet,

You've gotta do what you are comfortable with. If you feel ok with going out as a friend then by all means do it but it sounds like you still are not sure if you are ready & that is fine too. If you are unsure then I would wait. Everyone is different.

Re: Ok this is hard for me but i need advice girls......