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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: What's your opinion on having children?
Posted by MsG
Sometimes I feel a strong desire to give birth to a child, sometimes I want to adopt, sometimes I want nothing to do with kids. In a year or two DH and I will take a look at where we are financially and emotionally and see if we're ready. Right now I'm not, and I don't think he is either.
If someone asks me one more time when we are having kids (b/c that's what's next ) I am going to ask them when they are getting divorced (since that's what's next).
 I think since having kids is the "norm" people assume that eberyone wants kids and that once you're married, you're automatically ready for that step.
I love kids. I babysat and was a camp counselor for 8 years. If I weren't a lawyer, I'd probably be a teacher. I always knew I wanted kids, but I don't want them yet. For the past year, we've shared our bedroom wall with a couple and their baby. Almost every night between 2 and 5 am, the baby starts screaming and sometimes doesn't stop for hours. It's the worst screams I've ever heard and it drives us crazy. Any time I think I'd like to have kids sometime soon, I think of that baby and what his parents go through each night. It's too much responsibility for now. I want a house first and I want to enjoy more time with DH. I'm the first of my friends to get married and I'm not ready to give up my social life just yet. I know I want kids someday, but I'm still young.
Everyone is different, and it's perfectly normal to not have baby fever and to question whether you'll ever want kids. It's a big responsibility and may not be worth it for some people. Don't let people make you feel bad for not wanting children or for questioning it. Good luck. 
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Posted 12/16/05 6:46 PM  |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: What's your opinion on having children?
Posted by Diva
I've been thinking a lot about this subject and was just curious to hear everyone's opinion. Since the wedding, many people ask when we plan to have children. As akward as it seems, we dont have the desire or need to reproduce. I've spoken to others and I've gotten the feeling that sometimes its an instinctual feeling and other times its out of pure love to have children. If you have children, in the process, or plan to.... what is your main reason(s) in doing so? I sometimes wonder why I dont get that desire like everyone else and if that's normal or not?
I am PG now, after six of marriage. When we were first married I just wanted to enjoy being married. Everyone asked us for SIX YEARS!  I mean what is sooooo horrible about waiting???? I am really glad we waited, but thats JMO.
Anyway, bottom line is that I never felt comfortable babysitting my friend's kids; I would feel inadequate around kids like I had no idea what to do. Then about a year ago, that all changed and now I am PG with my first. I am so happy and know that DH & I will be great parents. I think for some people it takes a while to feel comfortable with the idea of having children. 
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| Posted 12/16/05 7:17 PM |
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christy
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 6787 total posts
Name:
Christy
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Re: What's your opinion on having children?
After we got married I wasnt at all sure that I would ever want children. Now almost 3 years later I totally want them. DH is the one who isnt ready (but is does want them). I think your life can go in so many ways, and you just never know how you will feel down the line. I think it is totally fine if you never want children. I felt that way for a while in my own life. Do what is best for you!
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| Posted 12/16/05 8:28 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: What's your opinion on having children?
Maybe Im the minority who thinks its instinctual. I know for me I have wanted a baby since I was a young girl. Its something I feel is a big part of purpose in life. To have a child and to raise it to be part of society , but to raise it to be a great person is my goal and what I want to do in my life.
BUT...there are so many people who dont feel that, I dont think in anyway its a negative not to want children. I think some people are here to do more with their lives and it doesnt involves children. I know a few people who never want kids, and they are 100% happy with their lives. So the idea of children bringing this fufillment to your lives i hear about is nonsense.
I think its institcual in a way because of my own beliefs that we sort of have this blueprint of our lives from the beginning and we are trying to live our lives to fit that print. And some of us feel what our children will bring, some feel nothing, because their lives dont involve children of their own....simply as that.
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| Posted 12/17/05 8:22 AM |
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Kate07
Feel better my little guy!
Member since 5/05 4476 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: What's your opinion on having children?
I love children, and have always looked forward to the day when I'd be someone's mother - so I think it is partially instinct. We weren't planning on having children for another few years. DH is in the first years of his career as an attorney and is working all crazy hours and I'm still trying to establish myself. However, sometimes we just can't control everything in life - I found out I was pregnant this week. I kind of wish I still had a few years to be carefree and enjoy my job but on the other hand I am so excited.
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| Posted 12/17/05 8:35 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: What's your opinion on having children?
I think alot of people do want children because they see everyone else's and they are so cute when they are little. They don't understand that this cute little beings turn into toddlers and children who don't listen to you-lol! I have 2 children of my own who we planned for and wanted dearly but it is hard. My dd has ADHD and is sometimes impossible, even on medication. My son is much calmer but is now going through the terrible two's (but they are also terrific!!). He loves the word no-lol!
I don't think it is wrong not to want children and it should be the couple's choice and no one else should be involved in that. Some families are very pushy and that is not right.
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| Posted 12/17/05 6:22 PM |
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