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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Would it bother you if...
If you are not comfortable giving that information, simply say, "I'm sorry, but I do not feel comfortable giving out that information." Or simply lie and say you got nothing
I mean, I told my parents who gave us what, but only because that's the relationship I have with my parents. However, I would never tell JT's parents who gave what because they gave us less than most people who didn't even know us, and I didn't want to go there with them
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Posted 1/19/06 5:17 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Would it bother you if...
My mother was curious so I did tell her what certain relatives gave. I did not make a list though, many of DH's family did not give and I never wanted that written out on paper.
Side note though: Marissa, I really hope people do the right thing for you guys and give a gift. My cousin eloped and I was shocked how many people did not give because there was not a party. I gave the same amount as if I went to the party. I don't see it as paying for my plate, I see it as a "congrats this is to help you guys start your life gift."
But my cousin took it in stride, her MIL however is furious at certain members of her own family that felt her child(my cousin's husband) was stiffed.
Message edited 1/19/2006 5:21:40 PM.
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| Posted 1/19/06 5:20 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Would it bother you if...
Posted by Janice
My mother was curious so I did tell her what certain relatives gave. I did not make a list though, many of DH's family did not give and I never wanted that written out on paper.
Side note though: Marissa, I really hope people do the right thing for you guys and give a gift. My cousin eloped and I was shocked how many people did not give because there was not a party. I gave the same amount as if I went to the party. I don't see it as paying for my plate, I see it as a "congrats here is to help you guys start your life gift."
But my cousin took it in stride, her MIL however is furious at certain members of her own family that felt her child(my cousin's husband) was stiffed.
Thanks- Im really not expecting anything...but if we get thats great....
Im not a list person....when it comes to actual gifts... i make a list for the TY's but otherwise I dont....So if i go along w/ this....its strictly done for her...
I understand her wanting to know who gave something...even a card (to see who acknowledged her son) but not what they gave!
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| Posted 1/19/06 5:24 PM |
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KaRiSsA
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Member since 5/05 4646 total posts
Name:
KARISSA
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Re: Would it bother you if...
My MIL asked us what certain people gave us so she could give them the same amount. Very tacky in my opinion.
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| Posted 1/19/06 5:53 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Would it bother you if...
yes, it bothers me when my fmil was asking us who gave us what $$ wise after our e party. and there were no parties in the future that she needed to know who gave what so she could give the same...
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| Posted 1/19/06 5:58 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Would it bother you if...
Posted by Janice
My mother was curious so I did tell her what certain relatives gave. I did not make a list though, many of DH's family did not give and I never wanted that written out on paper.
Side note though: Marissa, I really hope people do the right thing for you guys and give a gift. My cousin eloped and I was shocked how many people did not give because there was not a party. I gave the same amount as if I went to the party. I don't see it as paying for my plate, I see it as a "congrats this is to help you guys start your life gift."
But my cousin took it in stride, her MIL however is furious at certain members of her own family that felt her child(my cousin's husband) was stiffed.
my cousin eloped too and i did not send a gift. only a card. when the real wedding happens, they will get a gift then..
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| Posted 1/19/06 5:59 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Would it bother you if...
Posted by BNL2005
my cousin eloped too and i did not send a gift. only a card. when the real wedding happens, they will get a gift then..
my cousin wasn't having another wedding, just the one in Jamaica
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| Posted 1/19/06 6:04 PM |
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Summer05
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2320 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would it bother you if...
That would bother me a lot. I think that it is incredibly rude for someone to ask how much so and so gave you as a gift. Why should what someone gave you dictate how much your MIL gives to others? It has nothing to do with her.
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| Posted 1/19/06 6:56 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Would it bother you if...
My MIL and my Mom both wanted to know who gave what amount at our e-party and wedding. I think that is very rude, and none of their business.
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| Posted 1/19/06 11:04 PM |
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BikerGrl
Merry Christmas!
Member since 5/05 2875 total posts
Name:
It's not the destination....it's the journey!
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Re: Would it bother you if...
My MIL has asked when the time came for her attend an event of someone or the child or someone who was at or wedding, shower ect....and each time I tell her I don't remember. I personally think it is NONE of anones business. Though I did tell her what his aunt gave when his cousins wedding came around.
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| Posted 1/20/06 8:22 AM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: Would it bother you if...
Posted by Princessmaris
Posted by Shellyesq
That sounds wierd to me. I would not be comfortable giving a relative a list of who gave what.
It would be one thing if say, we were at a shower where you open gifts, and one relative was keeping a list of what was given for your "thank you" cards.
But a list to see who gives what and how much- I think that is just wierd. I did share certain things with my mom and sister (anyone in our family who was extremely generous or stingy)- but that was it.
No im not talking about actual gifts...im only talking $$$$
Actually It didn't bother me .. My Ex MIL asked for that and when I asked for the logic she said it gives her an idea of what amount she should reciprocate to them when it is there turn.
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| Posted 1/20/06 8:25 AM |
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LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Would it bother you if...
For my sisters shower she made a list for the thank you's--her and her FH made a list after thier wedding, so that in the future they would have a guide of what to give back to people....I don't think it's that wierd.
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| Posted 1/20/06 8:29 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would it bother you if...
I would not feel comfortable sharing that information.
Also, your gift givers may not want that information disclosed for a variety of reasons. Personally, I would not be comfortable if my gift amount were put on a list.
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| Posted 1/20/06 8:44 AM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would it bother you if...
Posted by Eireann
My MIL asked me for my list so that she could decide how much she was going to give people for THEIR events based on their gift to us. I thought it was rude and also believe you should give a gift depending on how you feel about the person, etc...not because of what they gave your son. That's just me. I avoided the subject until it was forgotten...she never got the list.
Like the posted above, I feel that someone should give a gift according to the relationship they have with the person. I didn't have to share a list with anyone other than with my husband. We were extremely lucky because for the most part everyone was overly generous. I think personally that one thing has nothing to do with the other. You give the person what you feel you should not the same or less or more than what they gave you. I just find it plain tacky when people do that. If I were you and you don't feel comfortable doing this, either voice it to this person or when they approach you with that tell them you are busy and you will get to that at another time so that you don't have to provide it. JMO
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| Posted 1/20/06 9:51 AM |
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