What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Message edited 4/9/2007 8:15:44 AM.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

I don't agree with this.

I wouldn't like my husband having a separate account that I didn't know about.

Its one thing about having alittle stash of money on the side for emergency or personal things that one may need etc.... but deliberately getting a separate acct that he doesn't know about is completely wrong.

Besides, the truth will be found out eventually -Your husband could quickly across a statement or get a phone call from the bank regarding the account - and then what?

I would just open up another joint account or CD and use that as a safety net.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

I know I wouldnt like it if DH had one of these. I wouldnt do it.

But I do have my own checking account that part of my payroll goes in to - I call it my "allowance" for the week. I use it to lunch, gas, hair products, etc. That way I dont over spend from the other account.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Separate money doesn't bother me, but the secrecy does.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

No I would not like that at all.. It is our money.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Posted by baghag

Separate money doesn't bother me, but the secrecy does.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Posted by baghag

Separate money doesn't bother me, but the secrecy does.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Message edited 4/9/2007 8:16:06 AM.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

I just had this conversation at work-Everyone disagreed with me - I dont think its a good idea...

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

I would ahve said absolutley no,. etc etc, but after seeing what my dad did to my mom, I can see the other side of it. I have a savings account that has my name on it only. Fh's name will never be on it and it will alwyas be MY money, but he fully 100% knows about it 100% agrees with the decision. He says I'll never need it, but he wants me to feel secure, plus he feels that money is MY money and he has no right to it, etc. I think the secrecy is the real problem I'd have in that scenario. I think it IS a good idea to have your own nest egg, especially if you're going to be a SAHM and not have a significant income, because, we don't want to think this could ever happen, but in that case, hubby cna take off and leave you high and dry

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Separate money is good... but the secrecy of it is not.

If you want to hide something.... just hide the actual amount i guess.... but let him know you do have money stashed away just in case.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

I don't agree with him not knowing about it......we might do the separate stash in case of emergencies where we can't take it out, but we can both put money into it.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

His paycheck went right to my account within a a few weeks, but we had talked about joint accounts when we were engaged, we lived together it made sense...I would not have a speerate account, I dont feel like I need to hide or not share my money, or our money 100%. I also think if there was a "problem" in our marriage neither or us would be concerned with money...neither os us would EVER hurt the other enough to be worried about it.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Yet again, I'm the oddball.

I'm not going into details (there wouldn't be enough space on this page) but after the things I've seen some of my family members go through, I think it's a good idea for everyone to have their own "safety net".

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Posted by baghag

Separate money doesn't bother me, but the secrecy does.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Posted by baghag

Separate money doesn't bother me, but the secrecy does.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Having a "secret" account does not say much about a persons relationship w/their spouse. DH and I both have separate accounts that we keep our own money in, we know about it but we don't have access to each others accounts.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

I wonder if the secrecy would do them any good in the event of a divorce? I thought all money was community property, wether you knew about it or not?

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

My mom wanted me to do this, or keep a credit card just in my name - something, and not tell DH about it. My dad walked out on her when I was just 2 days old leaving her with 5 kids and no $ so I see where she's coming from. BUT, in today's day and age, secrecy is not as easy as it seems. The first time you go for a joint loan (mortgage, car, whatever) that account will come up since it must be attached to your social security number.

Forgetting about the emotional sides of this, the secrecy aspect is just not logistically possible unless you never ever plan on getting a loan together, which is obviously pretty unlikely.

Looking at the emotional side, I agree with what the majority of posters have said. If you feel you have to keep it a secret, there's obviously something wrong with what you're doing.

Message edited 7/22/2005 8:56:52 AM.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

I agree that I don't like the secrecy. DH and I both still have personal checking and savings accounts in addition to our joint account and it just makes it easier to pay personal bills. If I have the money to spend on something and I am pulling my fair share with our joint bills, I don't need DH to monitor my spending (and vice versa). I think it is important to have an account with my own money so I can keep track of my spending that is not home related.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

I have another account but he knows about it! It was an account I had since I was 16.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Posted by baghag

Separate money doesn't bother me, but the secrecy does.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

We have a joint account but we also have our own seperate accounts. It isn't a secret though. Mine is always empty so it isn't a big deal!!!

Also, we don't open each other mail or look at each other bank statements. We aren't trying to hide anything, we just respect each other privacy.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

Posted by baghag

Separate money doesn't bother me, but the secrecy does.

Re: What's everyone's opinion about having a seperate checking account that hubby doesn't know about for a safety net?

As a divorce attorney, maybe I can shed some light . . . From the day you marry, all monies earned belong jointly to both of you, as does anything you buy with those earnings. As such, if you put monies you earn during the marriage in that account, your husband is entitled to share in it. And, even if you deplete it (to hire an attorney, get a new place, etc.) you may have to pay back his share of the monies or have your share of the other marital property decreased by that amount you took. On the other hand, if you have an account in which you keep separate property money (i.e., money you earned before marriage, inheritances, gifts), and you don't mingle marital earnings with it, the account is yours alone. I hope that helps.

ETA: This is not legal advice. If you have real concerns, I would suggest you contact an attorney. I simply wanted to clear up the difference between marital property and separate property.

Message edited 7/22/2005 11:24:47 AM.