Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

Honestly??

In my family and friends, it's the norm.
Anthony's family which is mostly upstate never even heard about it but are very excited to come(Im not expecting gifts, Im just excited they're trekking down to LI to meet my family)...

So about a week ago, a coworker was telling me that she was invited to one and thinks the bride and groom are selfish to host a party and have guests feel obligated to give money or a gift.
She then said usually people who aren't "americanized" have them...

I then politely informed her I was having an eparty next month.

First off, if she saw I had an ering, why would she even talk badly to me about wedding stuff?

secondly, do you agree with her?

ETA .I'M NOT OFFENDED IF SOME OF YOU THINK IT IS GREEDY. BUT CAN YOU TELL ME WHY? IF SOMEONES BRAVE ENOUGH?

Message edited 8/14/2006 7:14:25 PM.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

greedy.....HELL NO

i had a small one but LOVED IT

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

We had one, and we had a awesome time!!! It was loads of fun, and nice to be with family & friends.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

we had one and had a ton of fun... etiquitte wise i dont think you are required to give a gift for an e-party...

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

its not greedy. we had a small one

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I don't think it's greedy...

My family is big on e-parties..we had to go to so many of them, so when it came time for mine..I didn't feel bad..

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I dont think its greedy. We would have had one had I ever heard of it before LIW. I dont think its about gifts persay but having the families meet prior to the wedding is a great idea no matter what.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

not greedy at all. and its not like you are having an eparty, shower and wedding all in a month.

don't listen to people who say its greedy...

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I don't think it's greedy, but when I got engaged, my mom basically said to me, "We'll throw you an engagement party or a shower. We're not asking people to give you gifts 3 times over." So, there are people who do have the view that it is greedy.

I think it's all about what's the norm in your family/group of friends. The truth is that even though we didn't have an engagement party, the people who wanted to give us gifts (most of the people who would have been invited to an e-party) did anyhow, and I think my mother was the only one who would have perceived the party as greedy.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

It wasn't a popular thing to do when i got married back in the dark ages But i don't think it's greedy.It's a way to celebrate your up comming wedding with those that are special to you!

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I don't think it's greedy. Ours was in MIL's back yard. Most have been at people's houses - I think they were very nice.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

Not greedy at all. I think it's a nice way for the two families to meet and for the bride and groom to be to meet members of each other's extended families that they may not have met before.

"Americanized"?? E-party's are not the norm in my family but everyone loved it.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I dont think it is greedy but I do find them unnecessary. People who chose to congratulate us did anyway. We got many engagement gifts regardless.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

Greedy? Not at all!!!!!

We had one in my mom's backyard nice & relaxed. It was small with just a few friends and the rest family. This was where my family & DH's family met for the first time!

eta: We go engaged in Feb '02, our e-party was Aug '02 and we got married Sept '03

Message edited 8/14/2006 8:32:53 PM.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I chose greedy, but I don't think they are greedy, I just think they are overkill, IMHO. A small celebration like a dinner with family and friends I like, but generally when I am invited to an e-party for someone I am not superclose with, I am not interested in going.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

We didn't have one, but my friend's sister did & they are definitely American.
As in Mid-west, debutante party, racquet club member American.

In their circle it is very common & is more of a meet & greet. It was a short, semi-formal coctail party in the MOB's Apartment. I don't know if there were gifts involved, but I didn't see any in the pictures!

Some people do, it some people don't. Whatever.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I tend to agree with Jax... a shower or an e-party. you may not expect gifts for anything, but when people receive an invite, they feel obligated to bring a gift. JMO

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

Not greedy considering your wedding is more then a year away...I think it would be greedy if they were all in a few months of each other...eparty, shower, wedding

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

We had one... but we had a long engagement. It was almost 2 years before the wedding!

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I agree with Jax and SweetestofPeas. I'd do one or the other.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I think it depends on how and when it is done. I tend to find them greedy when they are mini weddings ( at a reception hall at night with 100+ people, DJ, favors, etc.) with a year or less to go from the wedding.
I also have to go when the eparty is months and months after the actual engagement. Then it makes me think it is more of a fundraiser to pay for the wedding once they realized how much the wedding was costing

Message edited 8/14/2006 9:06:42 PM.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

agree with Jax. 3 gifts is a lot. I don't mind going to a party, but I won't show up empty handed.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I don't think they are greedy, maybe a little overkill if the shower and wedding are not too far off.

My BIL had an e-party, then less than a year later the bridal shower, then 6 weeks later the wedding. I thought that was a bit much.

Oh, did I mention that they put registry cards in the e-party invites?

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

Posted by npbride

Oh, did I mention that they put registry cards in the e-party invites?

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I had one and don't think its greedy... unless it is a few months before hte wedding. We had ours a year before our wedding, and most of the ones I have been to are about a year before the wedding, and I don't think they are greedy.

A friend got invited to an engagement party 4 weeks before the wedding. That I think is a little greedy.