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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by DebG
Thats a choice they make. I am not sad for them.
My minister, the who married Darren and I, came out of the closet just 2 montsh before our wedding. He left his wife and his four children to live his life.
If he had the strenth to do it I believe anyone can find the strength to do it.
It is wonderful to realize how strong he was to come out of the closet. But think about what he went through for the years in the marriage and lying about who he was- probably to himself for a long time. It does make me sad that for so many years these people couldn't show a big part of them.
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Posted 2/3/06 1:34 PM  |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
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Jes
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by DebG
Posted by Lolita4Life
its sad how many gay people are actually in straight marriages, being miserable their entire life.
Thats a choice they make. I am not sad for them.
My minister, the who married Darren and I, came out of the closet just 2 montsh before our wedding. He left his wife and his four children to live his life.
If he had the strenth to do it I believe anyone can find the strength to do it.
i understand, but its not really an easy thing. good for your minister, he's a strong individual.
not everyone can be that strong.
but IF gay maariage was allowed perhpas the percentage of gays living a lie in a straight marriage would be considerably lower.
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| Posted 2/3/06 1:35 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
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The cure IS worse!
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
I just don't agree with the argument...it can be used in too many facets of life.
Example- If there were better domestic abuse laws there would be less battered women living in abusive relationships
If there were better child endangerment laws there would be less children living in neglectful houses.
I don't mean to pick, I just think its weak and can be used in just about any area of life.
ETA- I do understand the point TRYING to be made, however, I just think in today's society a gay person can choose to live thier life NOT in a marriage. I gave one example, I know plenty more like him
Message edited 2/3/2006 1:50:47 PM.
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| Posted 2/3/06 1:48 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by DebG
ETA- I do understand the point TRYING to be made, however, I just think in today's society a gay person can choose to live thier life NOT in a marriage. I gave one example, I know plenty more like him
yes- but you have to think about what made him get into the marriage in the first place!! I think you see a lot less of young marriages breaking up because someone is gay. It is usually in older marriages when it was not "acceptable" to be gay.
So are you saying you don't feel sad for your minister at all? All these people who are your examples had to feel ashamed of themselves to CHOSE to get married in the first place.
I would. I can't imagine what someone goes through to decide to get married when they are gay- and then to decide to leave and come out. This happened to a friend's father. It was very hard to come out. He did it- but I still feel sad for the years he had to deal with denying who he was- and the years he had to deal with when he came out and his family adjusting.
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| Posted 2/3/06 1:55 PM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
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Heidi
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
I wholeheartedly believe that homosexuals should be given the right to marry. It should be called a marriage, if all they wanted was a union they would not ask to be married.
Marriage is a state recognized institution. Without the state recognizing it it legally doesn't exist. You can get married in a church, but if you you failed to get your license from the state it isn't legal.
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| Posted 2/3/06 1:56 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
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The cure IS worse!
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Do I feel sorry for someone like that? Sure do I feel sad for them? No, I can't say that I do.
I just don't get the argument. We should legalize gay marriages because its sad that so many men and women are choose to go into a marriage under false prestenses?
Just doesnt sound like a good argument to me.
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| Posted 2/3/06 2:02 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by DebG
Do I feel sorry for someone like that? Sure do I feel sad for them? No, I can't say that I do.
I just don't get the argument. We should legalize gay marriages because its sad that so many men and women are choose to go into a marriage under false prestenses?
Just doesnt sound like a good argument to me.
I completely agree that its not a good argument for legalizing gay marriage. I was just thinking about it as an aside.
I guess I don't see a different between feeling sorry for someone and feeling sad for them.
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| Posted 2/3/06 2:10 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
For me, the argument is equal treatment under the law - plain & simple.
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| Posted 2/3/06 2:12 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by Janice
I do have to admit, I am a little taken back by the fact that when discussing gay marriage, people are bringing up points of polygamist and incest marriages. Those are freak shows...I can understand people trying to link them for arguments sake...but seriously, do 2 men in love really compare to the marriage rights of a brother/sister getting married?
Does a man on a hill with 15 wives really compare to a gay couple?
They are people, people with the right to marry. How dark life must be when all you ask for is the simple freedom that so many around you have
1. who brought up incest?
2. it is a valid point....It is my concern. It is valid
3. polygamists TO YOU are freak shows....But saying that marriage is ok with the Love is love theory alone opens us up to many things....SO it can be used in this thread.
AND if we are talking about consenting adults WHY NOT allow someone to have 3 wives? Theya re consenting adults...They are People with the right to marry?
these are all VAILD points that i think about when i think of opening the door for gay marriages....
AND it is MY opinion when i think about this topic...
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| Posted 2/3/06 2:22 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by DebG
Posted by Lolita4Life
its sad how many gay people are actually in straight marriages, being miserable their entire life.
Thats a choice they make. I am not sad for them.
EXACTLY 
sad....PUHLEEEEEEZE
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| Posted 2/3/06 2:24 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by Lolita4Life
ok, i dont justify "love is love" so anyone should be allowed to get married.
but i believe whether youre gay or straight YEs, love is love and is the same whether youre with a man or woman.
i am not one to judge.
and yes, you can say how that comment can mean brother and sister can love each other or whatnot..... but im not trying to make a broad statement (it wasnt mine anyway) im singleing it to a hetero (non related!) couple and a gay (non related) couple.
i just feel like gays' love is no different than straights' love.
im not justifing the marriage process on it though.
do you see where im coming from? its alittle hard to put into words.
Jess....
when talking about this issue FOR ME...The ONLY part that bothers me is the fear that opening the door could lead to other consequences...
I AM NOT comparing ANYTHING....You really need to read my posts before accusing me of doing such.
If it would STOP at gay marriages then no i wouldn't have any issues with it, as i stated before....
But not you or anyone can give that kind of guarentee...
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| Posted 2/3/06 2:29 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by Redhead
Jess....
when talking about this issue FOR ME...The ONLY part that bothers me is the fear that opening the door could lead to other consequences...
I AM NOT comparing ANYTHING....You really need to read my posts before accusing me of doing such.
If it would STOP at gay marriages then no i wouldn't have any issues with it, as i stated before....
But not you or anyone can give that kind of guarentee...
that post was meant as a generlization, not just to you.
eta: but i do honestly think youre focusing too much about "what ifs" rather than an actual gay marriage.
Message edited 2/3/2006 2:32:34 PM.
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| Posted 2/3/06 2:30 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by neeniebean86
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by neeniebean86
Posted by BabyAvocado
I'm just saying that we do have laws in place that prevent 2 consenting adults from marrying already for other reasons that "we see fit". It's a counter point to the "Love is Love" argument - it's just not that simple sometimes.
But, are there even any SOUND reasons why gay marriage isn't allowed??? Anything i've ever seen or read was based almost completely on religious belief.
in governemt, that is not a sound enough reason for me.
So then would it be okay for a brother and sister (2 consenting adults) who chose to get themselves sterilized to get married?
but, that doesnt answer my question to:
What Sound reason is given (religious beliefs aside) for denying Homosexuals the rights that Heterosexuals have when it comes to marriage??
(btw- i hope that didnt come out snotty- i didnt mean it to  )
You are reinforcing my point, actually. That no sound reason is given for an incestual marriage to be illegal either. It's based more on a moral belief but everyone is okay with denying them the right to marry. The brother and sister could sterilize themselves and still wouldn't be allowed to marry by law.
(And no, you didn't sound snotty, hope I didn't either! )
ETA: It could fall into the "opening the door" category. 
Message edited 2/3/2006 2:33:39 PM.
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| Posted 2/3/06 2:31 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by Lolita4Life
Posted by Redhead
Jess....
when talking about this issue FOR ME...The ONLY part that bothers me is the fear that opening the door could lead to other consequences...
I AM NOT comparing ANYTHING....You really need to read my posts before accusing me of doing such.
If it would STOP at gay marriages then no i wouldn't have any issues with it, as i stated before....
But not you or anyone can give that kind of guarentee...
that post was meant as a generlization, not just to you.
eta: but i do honestly think youre thinking too much about "what ifs" rather than an actual gay marriage.
well i think that is something you have to think of...
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| Posted 2/3/06 2:32 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
see, i dont think it is at all.
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| Posted 2/3/06 2:32 PM |
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Ren
LIF Infant
Member since 11/05 203 total posts
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
I think it's interesting that we keep making references to doors. Doors are things that people keep closed for fear of other things getting in and out, and for security reasons. Opening a door can be scary. Maybe since this is such a sensitive subject we should use "windows". Windows are used to view what is on the other side. If there's something unknown behind a door, true, you never know what will behind that door when you open it up. By using windows we allow ourselves to be more objective to what you see, and hence allow in or not.
Opening a window will allow what you want in (same sex marriage), while seeing that polygamy is out there (just shut the window). By having a door as an argument, you allow no room for any objectivity.
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| Posted 2/3/06 2:34 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
yes....I think it is ok
But dont undertsand how polygamy got thrown in here. I think polygamy is wrong!!!!!
Message edited 2/3/2006 3:17:40 PM.
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| Posted 2/3/06 3:12 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by Janice
I do have to admit, I am a little taken back by the fact that when discussing gay marriage, people are bringing up points of polygamist and incest marriages. Those are freak shows...I can understand people trying to link them for arguments sake...but seriously, do 2 men in love really compare to the marriage rights of a brother/sister getting married?
Does a man on a hill with 15 wives really compare to a gay couple?
They are people, people with the right to marry.
But many people in this country unfortunately consider a gay marriage a "freak show" too. That's why they can be compared. Tell me, in your opinion, why a sterilized brother and sister who are in love, should not also have the right to marry, if a gay couple should? Your arguement would probably sound alot like those that people use against gay marriage/relationships. "It's unnatural." "It's immoral." "It's disgusting". "It's just plain wrong."
(Just to clarify - I am NOT for incestuous marriages or AGAINST gay marriages, just playing devil's advocate here)
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| Posted 2/3/06 3:22 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by Janice
Tell me, in your opinion, why a sterilized brother and sister who are in love, should not also have the right to marry, if a gay couple should? Your arguement would probably sound alot like those that people use against gay marriage/relationships. "It's unnatural." "It's immoral." "It's disgusting". "It's just plain wrong."
Im NOT againts gay marriages....but this is disgusting brother/ sister marriage...NO WAY!!!!
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| Posted 2/3/06 3:26 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Just adding to the topic for Baby Avocado
Societies have always placed restrictions on marriage to relatives, though the degree of prohibited relationship varies widely. In almost all societies, marriage between brothers and sisters is forbidden, with Ancient Egyptian, Hawaiian, and Inca royalty being the rare exception.
Source
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| Posted 2/3/06 3:27 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
YIKES! Brother/sister marriage! OY 
This board is getting very off topic. I wish we could stick to "do you think the US should allow gay marriages".
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| Posted 2/3/06 3:29 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by PrincessP
YIKES! Brother/sister marriage! OY
This board is getting very off topic. I wish we could stick to "do you think the US should allow gay marriages".
I agree....so I dont know why people keep bringing that up
It grosses me out
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| Posted 2/3/06 3:31 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Just adding to the topic for Baby Avocado
Societies have always placed restrictions on marriage to relatives, though the degree of prohibited relationship varies widely. In almost all societies, marriage between brothers and sisters is forbidden, with Ancient Egyptian, Hawaiian, and Inca royalty being the rare exception.
Source
As I'm sure many cultures have restricted same sex marriages for thousands of years.
The way I understand it is that the reasoning for this marriage restriction among most, if not all cultures, is because the effect this would have on potential children of such a marriage.
So my argument still stands - if the brother and sister are sterilized, why should they not be allowed to legally marry. And as the law stands right now, to the best of my knowledge, sterile or not, you cannot marry a sibling. And then it begs the question, so if we make a gay marriage legal, from which no children will be biologically produced either, why wouldn't we then allow a brother/sister, uncle/niece, etc marriage (as long as they are both sterilized)? Would we then have to make that type of marriage legal also?
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| Posted 2/3/06 3:34 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
I don't understand why people can't see the correlation with incestuous marriages. And it's funny because you all sound like very homophobic people sound in response to gay marriages. That's exactly the way people talk about gay marriages in some parts of the country. For the same reasons you find incestuous marriages gross, they find gay marriages gross.
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| Posted 2/3/06 3:36 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Do you think the US should allow same-sex couples to get married?
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by Janice
I do have to admit, I am a little taken back by the fact that when discussing gay marriage, people are bringing up points of polygamist and incest marriages. Those are freak shows...I can understand people trying to link them for arguments sake...but seriously, do 2 men in love really compare to the marriage rights of a brother/sister getting married?
Does a man on a hill with 15 wives really compare to a gay couple?
They are people, people with the right to marry.
But many people in this country unfortunately consider a gay marriage a "freak show" too. That's why they can be compared. Tell me, in your opinion, why a sterilized brother and sister who are in love, should not also have the right to marry, if a gay couple should? Your arguement would probably sound alot like those that people use against gay marriage/relationships. "It's unnatural." "It's immoral." "It's disgusting". "It's just plain wrong."
(Just to clarify - I am NOT for incestuous marriages or AGAINST gay marriages, just playing devil's advocate here)
To me, I think I try and keep it simple. Almost everyone out there in life is going to search for their soulmate to spend their life with. That is what we do. It is not a lifestyle for all, but that is our common choice. So if a man and women, not related find they want to be together, then why can't a man and a man, who are not related. I think incest is a very outside the box, where i don't think homosexuality is.
If this opens a door for incest rights or polygamist rights, then so be it. Why should gay people suffer because we are nervous of what is in the future?
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| Posted 2/3/06 3:37 PM |
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