anyone else's DH turn them down

or is it just my DH who finds me repulsive? DH really hasn't been overly comfortable with having sex with his pregnant wife from the start, but we still were having sex once a week or so. Now that I'm bigger (32w), I feel like he's really turned off with me. We haven't been together in 4 weeks!
I tried to get some this morning and he turned me down and said there was no time or he'd miss the train. I just feel very undesirable right now. And to be perfectly honest, it's not that I'm overly keen to have sex at this point either, but I don't want to get stuck in a rut that we can't break out of.

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

now that DH can feel the baby- he will not do it.
I understand- b/c I'm not sure if I want to anyway....

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

i hear ya. its not even like i want to either but it would be nice to feel wanted and attractive again

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

I just feel like I have 8 weeks of pregnancy to go, then you're not supposed to do the deed for 6 weeks. So if you take into account the fact that I haven't gotten any in 4 weeks, now we're talking about a total of 18 weeks, or 4 months without sex. And that's just not right!!!

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

Unfortunately, I am the one with no desire. I have to beat DH off with a stick practically. I just don't have the energy and I HATE looking at my repulsive stretch marked belly, so I don't want to torture him with it.

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

In our case, its actually the reverse. I totally don't have any desire. I think my feelings have made my DH feel very undesirable and rejected -- I tell him ALL THE TIME it is NOT him, it totally me feeling like crap (physically and mentally) but I know it hurts him ...

Lately though, DH doesn't even push the matter because I think he feels weird about the baby being so active too -- I won't even tell you how long of a stretch it's been for us

When I do not feel good about myself (I have self esteem issues to begin with), the way I deal with it is to shut down in the intamacy department. I realize is wrong and up until recently, I would force myself a bit more - but now it is harder that I've been feeling tired, sick and achey on top of it since hitting the 3rd trimester. Plus now that he's not pushing it and I see HE too feels uncomfortable, we truly HAVE fallen into a rut ...and yes it does worry me too

Message edited 8/25/2006 11:44:06 AM.

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

not there yet, its the other way around DH wants it but i want nothing to do with it.

I think a lot of guys get freaked out by it, their afraid they are goign to hurt the baby. I have a friend whose husband refused to do it from the time she found out she was pregnant. He was petrified that he was somehow poking the baby.

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

I just got my BFP and my DH wont have sex with me.

He is too afraid.

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

All the time....We had sex a few times earlier in the pregnancy but that was it!
He doesn't want to because of the fact I am carrying in a little girl (not that a boy would have mattered either he says) It's the the fact that our baby is in there and it's not the 'same'. Although I don't feel sexy at all....... I just feel like I rupulse him as well. He assures me that it's only because he just can't .....the baby is in there!!! Also, now that she is bigger (28 weeks) and he really feels her now.. I know there is no way in hell. I was sad at first.... but I am used to it and don't even bother asking. Since I am due Nov. 17th......... I guess I can't expect it again until closer to January!!!!!!!!!!! The thought of it makes me cringe........
Don't feel bad...there are others feeling your pain!!! :)

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

If i initiated he is already up the stairs taking his clothes off


He was more cautious with our first though, but it still didn't stop him.


Let you DH's know they ain't that big, they won't hurt the baby

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

Posted by Stacey1403

Let you DH's know they ain't that big, they won't hurt the baby

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

TMI-in the last week, my down south area feels completely different.. like swollen..anyone else? after sex, I find it uncomfortable to even stand up..

Also, I get crazy heartburn during it.

I feel bad, I turn my DH down during the day, I have found that if I do it right before bed, then I wake up the next morning okay.

I don't think your DH is replused, I think it is just a PITA to do it. They need to sell a kama surta book for preggos..

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

I have no desire either- I just don't like my body and I feel unatractive- DH wants to but I just don't feel good about how I look.

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

Posted by qtptootie

All the time....We had sex a few times earlier in the pregnancy but that was it!
It's the the fact that our baby is in there and it's not the 'same'. Although I don't feel sexy at all....... I just feel like I rupulse him as well. He assures me that it's only because he just can't .....the baby is in there!!!

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

Posted by Janice

TMI-in the last week, my down south area feels completely different.. like swollen..anyone else? after sex, I find it uncomfortable to even stand up..
QUOTE]

YES. I have felt like this since the beginning of my second trimester. Also, it's so much more sensitive. Not in a good way (or very bad way), but a weird way. Hard to explain.

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

Posted by pmpkn087

Posted by Janice

TMI-in the last week, my down south area feels completely different.. like swollen..anyone else? after sex, I find it uncomfortable to even stand up..
QUOTE]

YES. I have felt like this since the beginning of my second trimester. Also, it's so much more sensitive. Not in a good way (or very bad way), but a weird way. Hard to explain.

exactly..hard to explain is a great way to put it! I have been trying to explain it to DH, I am not in pain or anything, it is just weird. Dare I use the word, engorged almost?

I don't know..but I know its worse after sex, then the next morning i am fine. so by doing it right before bed, I wake up the next morning okay.

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

DH and I have been pretty much once a week and he seems to still find me desirable. We did have a lull because I had a yeast infection and was afraid it would hurt or burn.

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

It's actually the opposite for me as well. I have absolutely no desire and he thinks that I'm really sexy pregnant too! (I think he's just horny since we hardly do it! )

He would have sex all the time, me on the other hand I don't have any kind of sex drive basically this whole PG.

My DH was a little more nervous doing it with my first son, this time he's more concerned about hurting me. I moan and groan more trying to get into a comfortable position to even attempt to do anything!

My DH does feel the same way when I reject him, and he also does not understand when I tell him that it's not him.

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

Posted by Charly

Posted by nferrandi

I just feel like I have 8 weeks of pregnancy to go, then you're not supposed to do the deed for 6 weeks. So if you take into account the fact that I haven't gotten any in 4 weeks, now we're talking about a total of 18 weeks, or 4 months without sex. And that's just not right!!!

UH OH my poor DH has only gotten it once since we conceived I was on pelvic bedrest until 16 weeks and it's just not comfortable for me. He still asks every now and I then - I guess I'll give it another try since he's been soooo patient and good about it.

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We don't- DH is definately freaked out- thinks he is going to hurt the baby, etc. And probably not loving my baby body either. Its been about a month now. So depressing..

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So he comes home from work, tells me he's going out for happy hour and then asks me if I want to continue what I tried to start this morning.
Um no, I don't want your pity sex! Especially since he was going to up and leave me home alone afterwards.

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

Re: anyone else's DH turn them down

Add me to the list of people who are just not in the mood, at all. And while I feel pretty good for the most part, I feel more queasy and icky in the evenings, and the very idea of it makes me feel worse.