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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: Serious Question
The person to be addressed IMO was the host of the party. I'm sure it was an uncomfortable situation to be in, but do you think the host would have done anything about it if you would have addressed the issue w/ him or her?
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Posted 11/15/05 10:07 AM  |
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Kelly
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 681 total posts
Name:
This is it
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by LadyLainez
The person to be addressed IMO was the host of the party. I'm sure it was an uncomfortable situation to be in, but do you think the host would have done anything about it if you would have addressed the issue w/ him or her?
Doubt it. But I shouldn't let my fear of being laughed at stop something like this.
Oh God, guess I can't save the world.
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:09 AM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: Serious Question
Doubt it. But I shouldn't let my fear of being laughed at stop something like this.
Oh God, guess I can't save the world.
Don't kill yourself over it, parents or these kids family members should be the responsible adults. In thise case we see they weren't. Sometimes, you feel better just addressing the issue. 
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:12 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by Kelly
Posted by LadyLainez
The person to be addressed IMO was the host of the party. I'm sure it was an uncomfortable situation to be in, but do you think the host would have done anything about it if you would have addressed the issue w/ him or her?
Doubt it. But I shouldn't let my fear of being laughed at stop something like this.
Oh God, guess I can't save the world.
I agree Sonia. Kelly, you are just a nice and thoughtful, caring person.
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:12 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by Kelly
Posted by LadyLainez
The person to be addressed IMO was the host of the party. I'm sure it was an uncomfortable situation to be in, but do you think the host would have done anything about it if you would have addressed the issue w/ him or her?
Doubt it. But I shouldn't let my fear of being laughed at stop something like this.
Oh God, guess I can't save the world.
save the world...highly doubtful but
you should have courage of your convictions...
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:21 AM |
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Kelly
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 681 total posts
Name:
This is it
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by Redhead
you should have courage of your convictions...
Meaning?
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:26 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by Kelly
Posted by Redhead
you should have courage of your convictions...
Meaning?
IF you believe in yourself and what you think is right....
you should have the courage to say it with out fear of "being laughed at"
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:27 AM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Serious Question
Look at it this way:
Had the party been hosted at someone's home, who would bear responsibility for the illegal consumption of alcohol by minors??
The homeowners, and the host.
(notwithstanding the parents of the minors as well)
IMO, the host AS WELL as the manager of the restaurant bears responsibility. Now if the parents of the teens that were there, did NOTHING - well, they're just plain stupid IMO.
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:29 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by MrsERod
Look at it this way:
Had the party been hosted at someone's home, who would bear responsibility for the illegal consumption of alcohol by minors??
The homeowners, and the host.
(notwithstanding the parents of the minors as well)
IMO, the host AS WELL as the manager of the restaurant bears responsibility. Now if the parents of the teens that were there, did NOTHING - well, they're just plain stupid IMO.
i just do not get why the Host bears ANY responisbility at all
parents, restaurant yes
host...no
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:31 AM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Kelly
Posted by Redhead
you should have courage of your convictions...
Meaning?
IF you believe in yourself and what you think is right....
you should have the courage to say it with out fear of "being laughed at"
Absolutely!!! I am true to whatever I believe regardless of the outcome... I could careless if anyone was mad!!! Alcohol has no place with minors...
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:31 AM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by Janice
That is a terrible and uncomfortable situation. It is selfish of the party throwers to do that to the restuarant as well as to guests such as yourself.
I hate it when I would wait on a party, and the host would put me on the spot. If they are the type to give minors alcohol, then they are just as quick the type to take it out on the server's tip if they are denied the illegal request. A lot of the times, it someone is waiting on a party, that might be there only table of the night, so everything rides on making this table happy.
I don't know what I would have done if I were you. I would be frustrated, but mainly at the host.
So the all mighty dollar is more important then a legal matter ? And to be honest I don't think that would make someone not tip properly (maybe not reccomend the place ) but to cheat you out of your tip ??? Weird
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:34 AM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: Serious Question
i just do not get why the Host bears ANY responisbility at all
parents, restaurant yes
host...no
Legally from an insurance stand point if God forbid someone got injured let's say they ahd an accident or anything of that nature and the person involved decided to sue, the host would be liable. One they would need to have waht's called A Liquor Host license. For liability purposes. Because as a host you are lega;;y responsible for the people attending your party if the party was at your house.
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:34 AM |
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Kelly
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 681 total posts
Name:
This is it
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by Redhead
i just do not get why the Host bears ANY responisbility at all
Really???
She was hosting a teenage birthday dinner for a teenager with teenage friends. Only two friends had parents there.
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:35 AM |
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LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Serious Question
Wow, I'm so in the minority, and I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but I've been drinking at family events/parties since I was 14. The rules were no getting obnoxious, and drink out of a glass (my father doesn't like it when girls drink out of beer bottles). I drink more at family parties than I do when I am out with my friends.
My graduation party was in my backyard, with a full bar and two kegs...granted my dad collected keys and then determined at the end of the night who could drive, but I always drank at weddings, and so did all of my cousins.
My friends and I used to drink all the time when we were 16, whether it was at a house party, or at a restaurant that we knew would serve us, or if we chalked our id's to get into bars.....
Was it that you didn't feel comfortable with the teens driving after drinking, or that no one was in charge? Or just the drinking in and of itself?
It's terrible that it upset you so much...I'm just trying to understand why....
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:42 AM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: Serious Question
[My friends and I used to drink all the time when we were 16, whether it was at a house party, or at a restaurant that we knew would serve us, or if we chalked our id's to get into bars.....
Was it that you didn't feel comfortable with the teens driving after drinking, or that no one was in charge? Or just the drinking in and of itself?
It's terrible that it upset you so much...I'm just trying to understand why....
Well, my co-worker lets her kids drink at home. But no getting crazy. To each their own.
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:46 AM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by LFitzy79
Wow, I'm so in the minority, and I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but I've been drinking at family events/parties since I was 14. The rules were no getting obnoxious, and drink out of a glass (my father doesn't like it when girls drink out of beer bottles). I drink more at family parties than I do when I am out with my friends.
My graduation party was in my backyard, with a full bar and two kegs...granted my dad collected keys and then determined at the end of the night who could drive, but I always drank at weddings, and so did all of my cousins.
My friends and I used to drink all the time when we were 16, whether it was at a house party, or at a restaurant that we knew would serve us, or if we chalked our id's to get into bars.....
Was it that you didn't feel comfortable with the teens driving after drinking, or that no one was in charge? Or just the drinking in and of itself?
It's terrible that it upset you so much...I'm just trying to understand why....
OK now this disturbs me how can you control the fact of getting obnoxious you can't .... and unless your farther was a cop and performed a sobriety test he had NO right to determine who gets to drive home... encouraging underage drinking is horrifying to me... IMO please don't take this personal it is just my opinion but I am truly horrified
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:46 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Serious Question
Lauren, I understand where you are coming from. Drinking at our family parties is not seen as a big deal for minors. My parents were more strict, but my cousins were always drinking.
I think what is upsetting though, is that this was a teen party, friends and family. The parents were not there, and no safety car was set up. I think if the parents were there, then the guilt would have been taken away from Kelly, but not the uncomfortable feeling.
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:47 AM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by Kelly
Posted by Redhead
i just do not get why the Host bears ANY responisbility at all
Really???
She was hosting a teenage birthday dinner for a teenager with teenage friends. Only two friends had parents there.
Well then the restaraunt should have known this sooooooo why in the heck wa sit on the table ?
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:50 AM |
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by Kelly
Posted by Redhead
i just do not get why the Host bears ANY responisbility at all
Really???
She was hosting a teenage birthday dinner for a teenager with teenage friends. Only two friends had parents there.
I think the host should bear some responsibilty. If a kid (drunk or sober) had damaged something at a restaurant would the mgmt have the right to ask the parents to pay for the damages? That would be fair, IMO. Parents should not give up responsibilty for their kids under the assumption that someone else is in charge. What if a kid had gotten alcohol poisoning or had a bad reaction? Whose fault- the restaurant or the parent who allowed their kid to drink?
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:51 AM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: Serious Question
Lauren, I understand where you are coming from. Drinking at our family parties is not seen as a big deal for minors. My parents were more strict, but my cousins were always drinking.
I think what is upsetting though, is that this was a teen party, friends and family. The parents were not there, and no safety car was set up. I think if the parents were there, then the guilt would have been taken away from Kelly, but not the uncomfortable feeling.
I agree. I know a couple of people that let their kids drink @ home and they are not 21. Do I agree w/ it no. Would I let my daughter drink at a young age....no way. I think it's more commmon than we think it is. Sad, but true.
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:51 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Serious Question
Listen- its a judgment call. My cousins in Europe are used to wine with dinner since they were teenagers. Its the way its done there. My cousin was 16 and at a restaurant here and my aunt gave him wine and the waiter came over and said she couldn't do that, because they could lose their liquor license. But then again- he's a passenger in the car on the ride home.
I think some exposure to alcohol is acceptable as a teenager. My dad let me have a sip of beer once when I was 16- let me tell you- it was the last for many many years. Also when you think about it, why do you think so many kids go crazy drinking in college- because they can!!
However, it is not something I am comfortable with. I would not encourage my kids to drink, especially if they were on their own without me or DH there. If I was hosting a party of teenagers, I would make damn sure that none of the kids had access the alcohol. I think its irresponsible to do otherwise. Its a parents decision to expose their child to alcohol, but its not something another parent should permit or condone, until the child is 21.
Someone posted after that if the kids got into an accident, the host would be responsible. That is correct. If the party was mostly teenagers- then it is my opinion that the host has a responsibility to be vigilant about preventing underage drinking. If the party is geared at adults and some kids - then maybe less so.
But Kelly- its a tough situation- especially since its DH's family. We all know how fragile that line can be when you enter a new family- you want to get along with them- but not lose your own values in the process.
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:57 AM |
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LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by LFitzy79
Wow, I'm so in the minority, and I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but I've been drinking at family events/parties since I was 14. The rules were no getting obnoxious, and drink out of a glass (my father doesn't like it when girls drink out of beer bottles). I drink more at family parties than I do when I am out with my friends.
My graduation party was in my backyard, with a full bar and two kegs...granted my dad collected keys and then determined at the end of the night who could drive, but I always drank at weddings, and so did all of my cousins.
My friends and I used to drink all the time when we were 16, whether it was at a house party, or at a restaurant that we knew would serve us, or if we chalked our id's to get into bars.....
Was it that you didn't feel comfortable with the teens driving after drinking, or that no one was in charge? Or just the drinking in and of itself?
It's terrible that it upset you so much...I'm just trying to understand why....
OK now this disturbs me how can you control the fact of getting obnoxious you can't .... and unless your farther was a cop and performed a sobriety test he had NO right to determine who gets to drive home... encouraging underage drinking is horrifying to me... IMO please don't take this personal it is just my opinion but I am truly horrified
you can control how much you drink so that you don't get obnoxious, and that's what the rules were-"know your limits".
as for being horrified by my father being the key holder, and determining who was okay to drive-I have to say-it's not encouraging underage drinking to have alcohol available, if a teens parents doesn't let them drink-then that teen knows they aren't allowed, and if they decide to drink it's thier choice. They are old enough to make the determination.
everyone has thier own opinion and that's great, it's when someone fights to make a point that there way is the "right way" that things get sticky.
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| Posted 11/15/05 10:58 AM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Redhead
i agree..the parents should be watching and monitoring but i think legally it is the restaurants responsibility
While it's legally the restaurants responsibility, as a parent I can say that it's 100% my job to make sure my kids are behaving.
I would've have told the manager -
I agree with this.
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| Posted 11/15/05 11:02 AM |
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Kelly
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 681 total posts
Name:
This is it
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by LFitzy79
you can control how much you drink so that you don't get obnoxious, and that's what the rules were-"know your limits".
as for being horrified by my father being the key holder, and determining who was okay to drive-I have to say-it's not encouraging underage drinking to have alcohol available, if a teens parents doesn't let them drink-then that teen knows they aren't allowed, and if they decide to drink it's thier choice. They are old enough to make the determination.
I don't think teenagers always have the ability to know their limits.
Also, putting aside any emotional/traditional/mental/habitual/cultural reasons behind why a person under the age of 21 should/would be allowed to drink it's still against the law in the United States to serve alcohol to a minor. And that's the bottom line.
I understand that people do the whole: "well, it's my house I'm going to let my kids drink" but still, it's illegal to do that.
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| Posted 11/15/05 11:03 AM |
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Kelly
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 681 total posts
Name:
This is it
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Re: Serious Question
Posted by MrsFresca
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Redhead
i agree..the parents should be watching and monitoring but i think legally it is the restaurants responsibility
While it's legally the restaurants responsibility, as a parent I can say that it's 100% my job to make sure my kids are behaving.
I would've have told the manager -
I agree with this.
Well you can't be with your child every moment of every day. And chances are when they are teenagers you're not going to be going to a party with them. Certainly you can teach them and try to encourage them to make proper decisions, but at that point, I would also like to be able to trust that alcohol (for example) is not going to be readily available to them. (Especially at a family run party!)
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| Posted 11/15/05 11:04 AM |
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