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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Heres an etiquette question
Lets say that you were invited to a friends or family's house for dinner. Dinner is done, do you offer to help out, clearing the table, etc...
Personally, I would never ask or accept help from friends that I invite over.
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Posted 7/27/05 10:09 AM  |
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justme1
Proud SAHM
Member since 5/05 1955 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Hmmm..
I always offer to help and usually I am turned down.
I also dont except help when guests come over but I always do appreciate when they ask.
I think it's nice to ask..JMO
Message edited 7/27/2005 10:12:29 AM.
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:11 AM |
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Friend's house not expected to help but family, I force myself in there to help out.
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:13 AM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
I would never ask for help but I WOULD accept help, actually .. that's pretty much the way its done in our family and when I've gone to friends/vice versa.
what DOES IRK me is during family gatherings, there is inevitably a couple people who deliberately go out of their way NOT to offer to help clean up, etc.. for instance, all the other ladies will be tidying up and this person will just go inside and watch TV while everyone is doing all the work. That to me is just kinda rude
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:13 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
I always offer to help, both family and friends.
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:14 AM |
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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Posted by Diamondgrlie
but family, I force myself in there to help out.
Yeah I hear ya, I force myself to do this too
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:16 AM |
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LMFitz
life is good
Member since 5/05 2013 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Posted by FeliciaDP
I would never ask for help but I WOULD accept help, actually .. that's pretty much the way its done in our family and when I've gone to friends/vice versa.
Same with us - we always end up with the women in the kitchen cleaning up and chatting and the men off elsewhere being loud. 
And I always insist on helping out when I'm over anywhere for dinner.
And never come empty-handed! 
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:16 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
I always help family and offer to help friends. Usually friends say no but I at least clear off DH and mines plate before they shoo me away.
Why you having a dinner party and looking for polite people to have over!
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:17 AM |
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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
And never come empty-handed!
Defintely!!!!
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:17 AM |
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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Posted by Moehick
I always help family and offer to help friends. Usually friends say no but I at least clear off DH and mines plate before they shoo me away.
Why you having a dinner party and looking for polite people to have over!
Na it was a debate me, Don and my mom got into over the weekend. With Don's family they never ask for any help nor will they take it,
with my family its a different story, they ask you to help out, its pretty much required
Dont worry we WILL meet some day!!!
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:19 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
I don't ask to help, I just do it.
And I would accept help from guests.
Pretty much anyone I have in my home is either family or close friend so it doesn't really feel odd although I go through the "please, just sit down, this will only take a minute" spiel.
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:19 AM |
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jms100303
Luv my munchkins
Member since 5/05 4789 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Of course I would offer to help and I would just stand up and start clearing the table. I think it would be rude for me to just sit there while they cleaned up. However, I don't know that I would be washing dishes and stuff.
When we have dinner guests, most offer and I say no, but they still help clear anyway. But then again most of the people we have over for dinner parties are really close friends to us.
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:20 AM |
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LMFitz
life is good
Member since 5/05 2013 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Posted by boosh1002
And never come empty-handed!
Defintely!!!!
It amazes me how many people don't understand the courtesy of brining something - anything! 
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:21 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
I always offer and at the very least, help to clear the table. I also don't show up empty handed.
If help is offered to me, sometimes I accept and sometimes I don't. Our kitchen is very small, so sometimes having extra people in their is more stressful to me than just doing the work myself.
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:23 AM |
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jms100303
Luv my munchkins
Member since 5/05 4789 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Posted by FeliciaDP
what DOES IRK me is during family gatherings, there is inevitably a couple people who deliberately go out of their way NOT to offer to help clean up, etc.. for instance, all the other ladies will be tidying up and this person will just go inside and watch TV while everyone is doing all the work. That to me is just kinda rude
That drives me crazy!!!
On my side of the family my male cousins won't even clear their own plates at family holidays. It is BS! They expect my mom and their dad to do it. We hosted Christmas this year and I made them help clean up and let our parents relax. They are just lazy and can't be bothered, they feel they should be waited on. Give me a break!
I ALWAYS help clean up, no matter where I am. On my DH's side he has a couple that just sit there without helping too. Just rude.
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:23 AM |
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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Posted by LMFitz
Posted by boosh1002
And never come empty-handed!
Defintely!!!!
It amazes me how many people don't understand the courtesy of brining something - anything!
this actually happened to me last year!! Lets just say I had to make a quick stop at Waldbaums!!!
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:23 AM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Posted by Christine
I don't ask to help, I just do it.
And I would accept help from guests.
Pretty much anyone I have in my home is either family or close friend so it doesn't really feel odd although I go through the "please, just sit down, this will only take a minute" spiel.
Same here.
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:24 AM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Posted by boosh1002
Posted by Moehick
I always help family and offer to help friends. Usually friends say no but I at least clear off DH and mines plate before they shoo me away.
Why you having a dinner party and looking for polite people to have over!
Na it was a debate me, Don and my mom got into over the weekend. With Don's family they never ask for any help nor will they take it,
with my family its a different story, they ask you to help out, its pretty much required
Dont worry we WILL meet some day!!!
Oh lets just hope that you don't meet Moe by way of catching her with Don and steak sauce in her hand !!  (J/K)
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:27 AM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
I offer, and I accept when needed.
What I hate -- DH is a huge help at home, when we have guests he helps. But when we are at family gatherings -- all the SILs do everything and the men, nothing.
We still have a long way to go ladies!!
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:27 AM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
I always am the dish-washer at family & friends houses. I cannot let the hostess do that after all the work they do to have the party.
I grew up doing dishes by hand so it doesn't bother me to do a sinkful at a friends/families house. I could NEVER just sit there and watch someone else clean.
As for at my house, any help is appreciated, although my kitchen is small I end up doing most of it myself.
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:30 AM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Posted by karacg
I offer, and I accept when needed.
What I hate -- DH is a huge help at home, when we have guests he helps. But when we are at family gatherings -- all the SILs do everything and the men, nothing.
We still have a long way to go ladies!!
Kara, this was going to be my NEXT statement... there is totally the double - standard in existence when it comes to this and its both in MY family as well as DH's family.
ON Dh's side it'll be me and my SILs and my MIL, DH's aunt doing ALL the work while ALL the men sit around doing NOTHING... and the same holds true for my family..
Lets not even mention that the women do ALL the cooking too .. so really, the men get a free ride!
BUT as you said, my DH is wonderful at home .. so its like peer pressure to be jerks when they are all together or something
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:31 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
I always bring something, cleaning up is hard. Some people just get up and start helping. I have a ahrd tme with that, because I feel like maybe people don't want me touching everything. Some people like to have a lto fo control over their kitchen. I offer, but I won't jump up and just help.
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:32 AM |
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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Posted by FeliciaDP
Posted by karacg
I offer, and I accept when needed.
What I hate -- DH is a huge help at home, when we have guests he helps. But when we are at family gatherings -- all the SILs do everything and the men, nothing.
We still have a long way to go ladies!!
Kara, this was going to be my NEXT statement... there is totally the double - standard in existence when it comes to this and its both in MY family as well as DH's family.
ON Dh's side it'll be me and my SILs and my MIL, DH's aunt doing ALL the work while ALL the men sit around doing NOTHING... and the same holds true for my family..
Lets not even mention that the women do ALL the cooking too .. so really, the men get a free ride!
BUT as you said, my DH is wonderful at home .. so its like peer pressure to be jerks when they are all together or something
I hear ya on this. Don is the same way!!! His idea of helping is pouring the drinks!! Meanwhile, Im cooking my a s s off !!!
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:36 AM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
I always offer, sometimes I just bringing things in to the kitchen so its less trips the host has to make.
When I have big dinners at my house (last one I had was a party with almost 50 people) I needed help...it was too much for just me to do, so I gladly accepted.
There have been smaller dinner where I accept help too, becuase its a lot for one person to do.
ETA; I agree with you guys, 99.9% of the time its all the women who help although DH does help me too!
Message edited 7/27/2005 10:40:03 AM.
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:37 AM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Heres an etiquette question
Posted by Colleen9304
Posted by Christine
I don't ask to help, I just do it.
And I would accept help from guests.
Pretty much anyone I have in my home is either family or close friend so it doesn't really feel odd although I go through the "please, just sit down, this will only take a minute" spiel.
Same here.
Same here also! 
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| Posted 7/27/05 10:37 AM |
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