Twas the Night Before Christmas

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And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle

Twas the Night Before Christmas - -on LIF

The original classic - slightly amended...

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all on the boards

Drama was stirring in bunches and hoards

The LIF members were seated in front of their computers with care,

In hopes that 1000 posts soon would be there

Ron was nestled all snug in his bed

While visions of bannings danced in his head

And Boosh in her 'kerchief, and I in my Mets cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When on the computer, there arose such a clatter,

I sprang to my screen to see what was the matter.

Away to the hard drive I flew like a flash,
Tore open the keyboard, while my fingers began to mash

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a variety of threads about hate crimes, strip clubs, pets in restaurants and beer

When I saw somewhat controversial subjects, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment that Ophelia was drinking something with a kick.

More opinionated than ERod, her topics they came,
And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now! Do You?, Now! Are You?, Now! Did You?, and How?

On! Will You?, On! How Many?, on! Where? and Now!

To the top of the screen! to the top of the wall!
Now post away! post away! post away all!"

As dry leaves that fall before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the desk-top the coursers they flew,
With a site full of two-worded subjects, and some steak sauce too.

And then, in a twinkling, I saw on the screen
Felicia cheering as the Yankees entered the championship scene.

As I held my mouse in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the forum, all the threads came with a bound.

Juney was dressed all in fur, from her head to her foot,
And Don's clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of chat icons, Moe had on her back,

And Michal looked like a peddler just opening her pack.

Boosh's eyes -- how they twinkled! lvsdolphin's dimples how merry!

KimPetro's cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!

joenick's droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And with a quick little smile toward Don, jealously got the best of Moe

The stump of a pipe she held tight in her teeth,
And the smoke it encircled her head like a wreath;

Then I met Shorty, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed and smiled when I saw her, in spite of myself;

A wink of doodles' eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

She spoke but two words, and went straight to work,

And posted on all the forums; making challengers look like jerks

And laying her finger aside of her nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney she rose;

She sprang to her sleigh, to her team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard Deb and StudMuffin exclaim, as away they went,

"Happy Christmas to all, you'll never see us at steakhouses during Lent"

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

FROM ME TO YOU Chat Icon

Message edited 12/21/2007 11:14:32 AM.

Posted 12/19/05 5:15 PM